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2014 MOVIE OMNIBUS THREAD


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I think I would like Angelina Jolie more if she wasn't already everywhere. I miss back in the '90s when she had mystique and was edgy.

 

To me, she's a potentially all-time great film star just being absolutely ruined by over-exposure.

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I think I would like Angelina Jolie more if she wasn't already everywhere. I miss back in the '90s when she had mystique and was edgy.

 

To me, she's a potentially all-time great film star just being absolutely ruined by over-exposure.

 

Is Jennifer Lawrence gonna play Jolie in her biopic?

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Um...  This was Jolie's first movie in over 3 years, for the record.

 

She's picky about her projects, sure, but I'm not sure why anyone would want to pay money to see her when we seem to be hearing about her and Brad 24/7 anyway.

 

Actors need a modicum of mystery. Would people really be thinking so highly of people like Marlon Brando or  Audrey Hepburn if they'd spent years hearing about their feuds with the nanny/Jennifer Aniston/their dad, etc.

 

Now, I'm sure her and Brad are perfectly nice people and great parents, but yeah, I don't need to read about them ever again.

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Um... This was Jolie's first movie in over 3 years, for the record.

She's picky about her projects, sure, but I'm not sure why anyone would want to pay money to see her when we seem to be hearing about her and Brad 24/7 anyway.

Actors need a modicum of mystery. Would people really be thinking so highly of people like Marlon Brando or Audrey Hepburn if they'd spent years hearing about their feuds with the nanny/Jennifer Aniston/their dad, etc.

Now, I'm sure her and Brad are perfectly nice people and great parents, but yeah, I don't need to read about them ever again.

I've had zero problems avoiding all of that for years. I know damn little about her private life.
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Now, I'm sure her and Brad are perfectly nice people and great parents, but yeah, I don't need to read about them ever again.

 

I could hear Brad Pitt stories all day long.

 

Just a week or two back he was staying in New Orleans and turned out he was staying across the street from Matthew McConaughey.  So naturally...

brad-pitt-matthew-mcconaughey-beer-new-o

I mean, seriously, how awesome is that?!

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When I asked my daughter if she wanted to go and see Maleficent she said, "No."

 

When I asked her why, she said that, "I don't understand why Maleficent has to be misunderstood.  Why can't she just be bad?"

 

I was very proud.  

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Um... This was Jolie's first movie in over 3 years, for the record.

She's picky about her projects, sure, but I'm not sure why anyone would want to pay money to see her when we seem to be hearing about her and Brad 24/7 anyway.

Actors need a modicum of mystery. Would people really be thinking so highly of people like Marlon Brando or Audrey Hepburn if they'd spent years hearing about their feuds with the nanny/Jennifer Aniston/their dad, etc.

Now, I'm sure her and Brad are perfectly nice people and great parents, but yeah, I don't need to read about them ever again.

I've had zero problems avoiding all of that for years. I know daily little about her private life.

 

 

I actively try and avoid that stuff and it's still everywhere.

 

I mean, look at it practically: when you're an actor, your main job is convince people that you're someone else. Jolie's too much of a brand name to properly pull it off anymore.

 

Look at Daniel Day Lewis. How much does your average person know about his personal life? I'm guessing next to nothing. And it's better than way. Like I said, actors need some mystery.

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Back home from Seattle, it was a night of documentaries for me:

 

After Porn Ends - Interviews with a bunch of porn stars regarding their careers and their lives afterward.  This movie is a mess and the actual amount of "what are they doing now?" information is surprisingly low.  There seems to be no rhyme or reason to the structure.  What could, and should, have been a fascinating topic ends up just being terrible.  2/10.

 

Superheroes - This one traces the phenomenon of real people dressing up capes and costumes and acting as real-life superheroes on the streets of their cities.  95% of this movie is an unintentionally hilarious train wreck with one "superhero" demonstrating his devastating fight technique in a scene that could be an outtake from Napoleon Dynamite.  Another guy drives around with a color in the back of his van with popsicles in it - in case, you know, he runs into kids that will take treats from a stranger at night.  And beer.  He wanders around and then comes back to his van and drinks beer.  Other heroes are less pathetic, with one guy patrolling Washington Square Park with a cameraman, filming drug transactions, yelling in a megaphone to drive away drug dealers, and so on.  Another group chases down a drunk driver who rammed a park car and, unable to get the police to even stop, manage to get him to give up his keys for the night.  The last few minutes of the movie covers the heroes going around giving out food and water to the homeless or the drunk hero guy's annual Christmas drive that's actually pretty successful.  This ends up being "halfway decent" with the first 30-45 minutes being "the greatest movie ever" [/sarcasm] because of the unintentional comedy.  It is fascinating to look at all of these very earnest folks who just aren't quite right in the head.  6/10.

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Superheroes - This one traces the phenomenon of real people dressing up capes and costumes and acting as real-life superheroes on the streets of their cities.  95% of this movie is an unintentionally hilarious train wreck with one "superhero" demonstrating his devastating fight technique in a scene that could be an outtake from Napoleon Dynamite.  Another guy drives around with a color in the back of his van with popsicles in it - in case, you know, he runs into kids that will take treats from a stranger at night.  And beer.  He wanders around and then comes back to his van and drinks beer.  Other heroes are less pathetic, with one guy patrolling Washington Square Park with a cameraman, filming drug transactions, yelling in a megaphone to drive away drug dealers, and so on.  Another group chases down a drunk driver who rammed a park car and, unable to get the police to even stop, manage to get him to give up his keys for the night.  The last few minutes of the movie covers the heroes going around giving out food and water to the homeless or the drunk hero guy's annual Christmas drive that's actually pretty successful.  This ends up being "halfway decent" with the first 30-45 minutes being "the greatest movie ever" [/sarcasm] because of the unintentional comedy.  It is fascinating to look at all of these very earnest folks who just aren't quite right in the head.  6/10.

I enjoyed this one quite a bit.  I'm fascinated by people who read comics/watch movies and decide to be superheroes, for realsys.  I still think there is a great movie to be made about that but I haven't seen it yet.  Still, my favourite stuff was the guy with the aforementioned cooler.  The scene where he goes into the bar and tries to hit on girls while wearing his costume just SLAYS me.

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I enjoyed this one quite a bit.  I'm fascinated by people who read comics/watch movies and decide to be superheroes, for realsys.  I still think there is a great movie to be made about that but I haven't seen it yet.  Still, my favourite stuff was the guy with the aforementioned cooler.  The scene where he goes into the bar and tries to hit on girls while wearing his costume just SLAYS me.

 

Yeah, that scene had me rolling.  Give that chick credit, man, she was willing to talk to him even after he spilled his beer right away.

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When I asked my daughter if she wanted to go and see Maleficent she said, "No."

When I asked her why, she said that, "I don't understand why Maleficent has to be misunderstood. Why can't she just be bad?"

I was very proud.

I see a future in the State Department for her.

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After Porn Ends - Interviews with a bunch of porn stars regarding their careers and their lives afterward.  This movie is a mess and the actual amount of "what are they doing now?" information is surprisingly low.  There seems to be no rhyme or reason to the structure.  What could, and should, have been a fascinating topic ends up just being terrible.  2/10.

 

While not perfect, I think your assessment is a bit harsh.  We did get to see how some ran to Jesus (Crissy Moran), how others tried to leave but returned (Raylene), how some are somewhat lonely (Randy West), and some who just seem to get the big picture (Nina Hartley, unironically the one who's still regularly involved in porn).  The concept would work better as a TV series, where an hour could be devoted to each person.  There was too much material to cover and in the attempt to cover it all, the doc falls down. 

 

I don't think it was supposed to be about just where are they now, but more of their mindset after they leave the sex industry.  Again, it didn't quite get it right, but I walked away with feeling that I somewhat got it.  These are basically decent people who have to live with their actions being played on Pornhub every day for strangers to watch and point.  They all sort of accept that, but the emotional cost of it is very high.  To that end, I found the doc interesting.

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After Porn Ends - Interviews with a bunch of porn stars regarding their careers and their lives afterward. This movie is a mess and the actual amount of "what are they doing now?" information is surprisingly low. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to the structure. What could, and should, have been a fascinating topic ends up just being terrible. 2/10.

These are basically decent people who have to live with their actions being played on Pornhub every day for strangers to watch and point. They all sort of accept that, but the emotional cost of it is very high.

Are you implying they didn't enter the ass-to-mouth biz for the potential Oscar nod?

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So, only five years off from 2019, can we call Blade Runner an extremely accurate prediction of the future?

 

1) Technology rules our daily life and corporations run everything.

2) Pollution is a major problem.

3) Harrison Ford is acting a bit weird and doesn’t seem to know if he’s a human being or not.

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Machete Kills wasn't very good, was it?  I liked the first one somewhat, it was silly and over-the-top ridiculous.  This one didn't have that spark.  For one thing, a movie with Danny Trejo as a semi-indestructible guy chopping bad guys' heads off and stunt-casting featuring Charlie Sheen, Walton Goggins, Lady Gaga, Mel Gibson and Sofia Vergara...it wasn't very fun.  Throw in some rather misogynistic tones, some nonsensical editing, a total recycling of the penis gun from 'From Dusk Til Dawn' and a non-ending and I really wish I'd taken my dad's advice (Who LOVED the first one a lot) and skipped it.

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So, only five years off from 2019, can we call Blade Runner an extremely accurate prediction of the future?

 

1) Technology rules our daily life and corporations run everything.

2) Pollution is a major problem.

3) Harrison Ford is acting a bit weird and doesn’t seem to know if he’s a human being or not.

 

Until I get my Jetsons flying car, fuck that future.

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My biggest gear is that in 100 years or so, people are going to watch Waterworld and be like "Wow, Kevin Costner was 100% spot on! He wasn't just an actor: he was a prophet!"

 

Assuming they can even watch DVDs as their run-down ships sail around the never-ending ocean.

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Another night, another Netflix quality film:

 

Between Us - Two couples reunite two years after a weekend visit that turned really nasty and ugly for one of the couples - so bad that it ended their friendship.  The reunion lets us catch up and see where each couple is in their lives.  Basically, what we have here is four characters that are not likable yelling at each other and saying really, really mean stuff to one another, so much so that you question how they were ever friends in the first place.  The cast is decent enough, the acting is decent enough but in the end, the results are just mediocre.  But, hey, Julia Stiles looks perhaps the hottest she's ever looked in a movie and that alone is worth an extra point from me.  We'll say... 5/10.

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