2014 RANDOM TV THOUGHTS

[Tabe]

Accidentally Artificially Inseminated is my band's new name. Our CD drops next week.

[muhammedboehm]

Accidentally Artificially Inseminated is my band's new name. Our CD drops next week.

It's no Spooky from a Distance

[piranesi]

NOTE TO PERVERTS AND CREEPS WITH EXCELLENT TASTE:

 

Emily Mortimer has a new HBO series that isn't THE NEWSROOM.

 

http://youtu.be/o-Cs5fNOU1M

 

 

THIS IS NOT AN EXERCISE!  IT IS SAFE TO RESUME LOVING EMILY MORTIMER!

 

 

EMILY MORTIMER HAS BEEN LIBERATED!!!!!!

[Reed]

I knew The Newsroom was bad when I realized I share essentially 90% of Aaron Sorkin's political beliefs, but still found the show preachy and annoying.

[Robert S]

Accidentally Artificially Inseminated is my band's new name. Our CD drops next week.

AAI is going to be the next CCR

[Greggulator]

I have been trying to watch the single dumbest thing on Netflix I can find as a way to torture myself.

This is why I watched the Bill Maher religious documentary. I couldn't stomach it and lasted about 11 minutes.

I also recently, on suggestion from a friend, went through available Kevin Smith material on Netflix. I really liked Clerks and Chasing Amy when I was 18-22.

 

I started with Chasing Amy. Man, that movie does not stand the test of time at all. Almost all of the dialogue is cursing and/or porn-related and really not funny. The general plot -- Man makes lesbian switch -- is also fairly revolting, but I'll let that slide since it was made in the mid-90s and we've come a long way towards sexuality since then. But stuff like "Jason Less shows a child porn!" and "Snoochie Boochies" and "I'm referencing a person from the OTHER movie I made!" really doesn't work.

Even worse, I saw a panel discussion he and Jason Mewes did in Australia. This is on Netflix. Kevin Smith (in a hockey jersey, naturally) and Jason Mewes (in a Jay and Silent Bob shirt, naturally) talk about sex for a while, in between cuts of Jason Mewes and his wife going to a zoo and playing with a boomerang. It ends with audience members playing some sort of game where they simulate sex with Jason Mewes. Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes are in their 40s. Man oh man is it bad.

I have moved on to something even worse: Rob Schneider's "Soy Sauce and The Holocaust" stand-up special. It starts with jokes about how bad traffic is in LA and then gets into something where Rob Schneider impersonates older African-American women. However, the incredibly awkward racial material sadly just morphs into just boring, awful stuff about being 40 and wearing sweatpants and how annoying it is to fly.

Is there anything I am missing? I'd rather avoid action movies because that's too easy. Olympus Has Fallen was pretty stupid and entertaining. I just saw part of Attack On Wall Street (or something along those lines) that was pretty terrible, too.

[piranesi]

Why are you seeking out rage-bad instead of whimsically-charming-bad or crackpot-insano-bad?

 

That seems like a not fun game.

[Greggulator]

Why are you seeking out rage-bad instead of whimsically-charming-bad or crackpot-insano-bad?

 

That seems like a not fun game.

 

If you have anything crackpot-inasne bad to throw my way please do so.

I don't get enraged really. It's more the whole sociology. This Rob Schneider thing was filmed in front of an audience. That seems to love it. Who the hell are these people? Who else is watching this on Netflix right now?

[Tabe]

C'mon, the Deniro/Travolta movie is RIGHT THERE. It's sort of an action movie but not really. And Travolta's hair and accent are must-see.

[Reed]

So E! is doing its first ever scripted show about a fictional UK royal family starring Liz Hurley:

 

 

Queen Helena (Hurley) has the power, beauty and intelligence to get anything and everything she wants. And failure isn’t an option, especially when it comes to protecting her family’s image, which she will stop at nothing to control. King Simon (Regan) is a moral compass amidst the chaos of palace life. He is a good king, yet one who controversially places his own family above the people he rules.  The youngest son of Simon and Helena, Liam (Moseley) is thrust into the spotlight when he unexpectedly becomes the heir apparent in the pilot. Liam enjoys the many perks of being the world’s most eligible bachelor while coping with the rigors and pressures that come with being the future King. Sole daughter Eleanor (Park) is a controversial princess whose bad choices play out in the tabloids, much to the Royals’ chagrin. She is raw, intelligent and forever waging a battle between her desires to be young and independent and the rules and tradition she was raised to live by. Ophelia, a young American girl, is modern, self-reliant and independently thinking, which causes her to butt up against the traditions and rigidity of the Royal family when she embarks on a romance with Liam. The monarchy is a world she has known for a long time as her father is the head of security, but she now experiences the spotlight in a different, more personal way when she starts dating the prince.

 

Eleanor’s new bodyguard Jasper (Austen) is as confident and charismatic as he is cunning and duplicitous. He will prove to be one of the few people in Eleanor’s life who can match wits and cunning with her. Cyrus (Maskall), the nefarious brother of King Simon, has gone through life with none of the responsibility, but all of the benefits of a King’s existence. He is a man of dubious moral fiber who will stop at nothing to reverse the injustice of being second born. Prince Liam’s bodyguard, Marcus (Roach), becomes a knowing confidant for the wayward prince.  Marcus has a great sense of integrity that belies his youth; time and again, he will prove his mettle in protecting his charge.  Ted (Milburn) is head of the Royals’ security detail and the father of Ophelia. He is steadfastly dedicated to keeping a professional distance from the Royal family, which becomes nearly impossible when Ophelia and Liam become romantically involved.

 

Shocked CW didn't pick this up first.

[Brian Fowler]

Hey, hbo go is FINALLY on PS3. Gotta get back to watching Sopranos soon.

[Ryan]

Wasn't the character in Chasing Amy bi-sexual? I guess maybe not at the time in theory, but it's still badly done.

[mco543]

Anyone check out that new USA show Sirens tonight? I don't think I've ever heard the words "felch" or "twatwaffel" on national television before. I can't believe this got picked by USA; It doesn't fit the White Collar/Suits template they like for their originals and seems better suited to Comedy Central or something.

[Greggulator]

Wasn't the character in Chasing Amy bi-sexual? I guess maybe not at the time in theory, but it's still badly done.

 

Yeah, that was a later reveal in the movie -- that she had a sordid past with dudes.

Maybe it's because I'm an old fart who has been with the same lady for over 10 years now and I have no memories of single life. But I can't for the life of me think there would be a time where I'd get all bugged out by what my girlfriend did sexually in high school or college. But that becomes this major trauma for Ben Affleck's character and it's like... uhm... okay, who gives a crap, dude?

[Reed]

I was reading an interview with Andrew Scott (Moriarty in Sherlock) and he was saying how the reason Moriarty is so scary and iconic is because you don't know his backstory or really anything at all about the guy . I don't disagree, but I'm hoping we get filled in on some stuff when he returns for season 4. Maybe Hannibal has spoiled me a bit, but I'm at the point where I think villains have to be three-dimensional and have a backstory. Re-watching some episodes of Sherlock, and it becomes clear how much there isn't to Moriarty.  Everything he does is literally about just distracting himself.

 

Not to mention, as wonderful as Andrew Scott is, I still have no clue how someone so utterly batshit insane managed to build their own criminal empire. If I was a criminal he's the last guy I would consult with. He's mental. At least with Dormer on Elementary, I can buy her as a serious businesswoman who criminals could feasibly trust.

[Greggulator]

C'mon, the Deniro/Travolta movie is RIGHT THERE. It's sort of an action movie but not really. And Travolta's hair and accent are must-see.

 

I had no idea this thing existed and it's my new favorite movie and I haven't even watched it yet.

[RandomAct]

So this week had to be the most bizarre episode of Psych I've ever seen.  Everything was just batshit insane, and possibly not in the good way.  There were a couple of good moments with Henry, but otherwise, wtf?

[Neil Koch]

C'mon, the Deniro/Travolta movie is RIGHT THERE. It's sort of an action movie but not really. And Travolta's hair and accent are must-see.

That's one of the worst I've seen for a while.

In the Name of the King is really awful too, especially Burt Reynolds.

[piranesi]

So this week had to be the most bizarre episode of Psych I've ever seen.  Everything was just batshit insane, and possibly not in the good way.  There were a couple of good moments with Henry, but otherwise, wtf?

 

 

Shit.  I'm two weeks behind on my PSYCH viewing and now I'm scared.  All I know is the series finale better leave the door open for a series of t.v. movies down the road.

 

THAT IS HOW TELEVISION WORKS!!! and this show is supposed to be all about that.  Remember those PERRY MASON and GUNSMOKE! t.v. movies your gramma was somehow still able to watch well into the 90s?  Well this is going to be our that.

[Antacular]

So E! is doing its first ever scripted show about a fictional UK royal family starring Liz Hurley:

 

 

Queen Helena (Hurley) has the power, beauty and intelligence to get anything and everything she wants. And failure isn’t an option, especially when it comes to protecting her family’s image, which she will stop at nothing to control. King Simon (Regan) is a moral compass amidst the chaos of palace life. He is a good king, yet one who controversially places his own family above the people he rules.  The youngest son of Simon and Helena, Liam (Moseley) is thrust into the spotlight when he unexpectedly becomes the heir apparent in the pilot. Liam enjoys the many perks of being the world’s most eligible bachelor while coping with the rigors and pressures that come with being the future King. Sole daughter Eleanor (Park) is a controversial princess whose bad choices play out in the tabloids, much to the Royals’ chagrin. She is raw, intelligent and forever waging a battle between her desires to be young and independent and the rules and tradition she was raised to live by. Ophelia, a young American girl, is modern, self-reliant and independently thinking, which causes her to butt up against the traditions and rigidity of the Royal family when she embarks on a romance with Liam. The monarchy is a world she has known for a long time as her father is the head of security, but she now experiences the spotlight in a different, more personal way when she starts dating the prince.

 

Eleanor’s new bodyguard Jasper (Austen) is as confident and charismatic as he is cunning and duplicitous. He will prove to be one of the few people in Eleanor’s life who can match wits and cunning with her. Cyrus (Maskall), the nefarious brother of King Simon, has gone through life with none of the responsibility, but all of the benefits of a King’s existence. He is a man of dubious moral fiber who will stop at nothing to reverse the injustice of being second born. Prince Liam’s bodyguard, Marcus (Roach), becomes a knowing confidant for the wayward prince.  Marcus has a great sense of integrity that belies his youth; time and again, he will prove his mettle in protecting his charge.  Ted (Milburn) is head of the Royals’ security detail and the father of Ophelia. He is steadfastly dedicated to keeping a professional distance from the Royal family, which becomes nearly impossible when Ophelia and Liam become romantically involved.

 

Shocked CW didn't pick this up first.

 

I think we found the first instance of CW passing on a show yet still making it to TV regardless.

 

 

 

Wasn't the character in Chasing Amy bi-sexual? I guess maybe not at the time in theory, but it's still badly done.

 

Yeah, that was a later reveal in the movie -- that she had a sordid past with dudes.

Maybe it's because I'm an old fart who has been with the same lady for over 10 years now and I have no memories of single life. But I can't for the life of me think there would be a time where I'd get all bugged out by what my girlfriend did sexually in high school or college. But that becomes this major trauma for Ben Affleck's character and it's like... uhm... okay, who gives a crap, dude?

 

 

Not a stretch to say that most guys with any self respect wouldn't seriously date a girl that they knew had two dicks in her before. Of course, Ben's solution to said predicament is just the most bizarre solution ever,  but what do I know, I'm not a script writer.

[Newb82]

Dammit. Crazy stays for another week on SURVIVOR.

[blitzkrieg]

Watched the third fourth second half of season three premiere of Suits and I feel like the worst thing the show could do is draw more attention to how horribly unsustainable the premise is. I still mostly enjoy the show and the characters but a season built around the fact that Mike didn't actually go to Harvard seems like a quick and easy jumping off point for me.

[RandomAct]

 

So this week had to be the most bizarre episode of Psych I've ever seen.  Everything was just batshit insane, and possibly not in the good way.  There were a couple of good moments with Henry, but otherwise, wtf?

 

 

Shit.  I'm two weeks behind on my PSYCH viewing and now I'm scared.  All I know is the series finale better leave the door open for a series of t.v. movies down the road.

 

THAT IS HOW TELEVISION WORKS!!! and this show is supposed to be all about that.  Remember those PERRY MASON and GUNSMOKE! t.v. movies your gramma was somehow still able to watch well into the 90s?  Well this is going to be our that.

 

Last week was fucking great, if that helps at all.  So much feels.

[Reed]

 

So E! is doing its first ever scripted show about a fictional UK royal family starring Liz Hurley:

 

 

Queen Helena (Hurley) has the power, beauty and intelligence to get anything and everything she wants. And failure isn’t an option, especially when it comes to protecting her family’s image, which she will stop at nothing to control. King Simon (Regan) is a moral compass amidst the chaos of palace life. He is a good king, yet one who controversially places his own family above the people he rules.  The youngest son of Simon and Helena, Liam (Moseley) is thrust into the spotlight when he unexpectedly becomes the heir apparent in the pilot. Liam enjoys the many perks of being the world’s most eligible bachelor while coping with the rigors and pressures that come with being the future King. Sole daughter Eleanor (Park) is a controversial princess whose bad choices play out in the tabloids, much to the Royals’ chagrin. She is raw, intelligent and forever waging a battle between her desires to be young and independent and the rules and tradition she was raised to live by. Ophelia, a young American girl, is modern, self-reliant and independently thinking, which causes her to butt up against the traditions and rigidity of the Royal family when she embarks on a romance with Liam. The monarchy is a world she has known for a long time as her father is the head of security, but she now experiences the spotlight in a different, more personal way when she starts dating the prince.

 

Eleanor’s new bodyguard Jasper (Austen) is as confident and charismatic as he is cunning and duplicitous. He will prove to be one of the few people in Eleanor’s life who can match wits and cunning with her. Cyrus (Maskall), the nefarious brother of King Simon, has gone through life with none of the responsibility, but all of the benefits of a King’s existence. He is a man of dubious moral fiber who will stop at nothing to reverse the injustice of being second born. Prince Liam’s bodyguard, Marcus (Roach), becomes a knowing confidant for the wayward prince.  Marcus has a great sense of integrity that belies his youth; time and again, he will prove his mettle in protecting his charge.  Ted (Milburn) is head of the Royals’ security detail and the father of Ophelia. He is steadfastly dedicated to keeping a professional distance from the Royal family, which becomes nearly impossible when Ophelia and Liam become romantically involved.

 

Shocked CW didn't pick this up first.

 

I think we found the first instance of CW passing on a show yet still making it to TV regardless.

 

 

I hope E! just go all out with the silliness and cast Bruce Jenner (complete with terrible accent) as the stuffy British prime minister who has to sit the king down and tell him to sort his troublesome family out.  

[BEN!]

Logline: The drama revolves around New York City's best medical examiner Dr. Henry Morgan (Ringer's Ioan Gruffudd), who studies the dead for a reason -- he is immortal.

 

That's not really a reason to study the dead.  Unless, he wants to die and he's trying to find a way.  Otherwise, he could do anything he wants since he's got the time.