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2014 UPCOMING MOVIES/CASTING/TERRIBLE PROJECTS...


RIPPA

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Rebooting Stargate is a decent idea, because the movie has some really interesting ideas and plot hooks.

 

Rebooting it with the same people that made the thoroughly mediocre movie (and doing so instead of the second and third parts they have been talking about for years, although I guess they hope this will be successful enough to spawn a trilogy?) on the other hand makes it sound like a less good idea.

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[samberg]This has got EVERYTHING a Nic Cage MOVIE NEEDS:

 

- It's based on a book you buy at Rite Aid.

- It's about a guy struggling with the awesome  power of the male scalp

- Christopher Walken and Ron Pearlman both turned it down

- The entire project hinges on the acting skills of that one teenager who was on American Idol about a decade or so ago

- My character WILL have a scene with God, or a God, or an alien race who represent God and I, NICHOLAS CAGE WILL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT!!!!

 

[/samberg]

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At least one of the leads in the movie was in COP DOG.

 

 

Note: COP DOG is in fact exactly what it sounds like it would be:

MV5_BMTc3_Mj_I4_ODM3_M15_BMl5_Ban_Bn_Xk_

Looks cute, right?

 

From IMDB:

 

 

Robby (Billy Unger) and his mother lost their beloved father-husband nearly a year ago. He was a police officer and he died pursuing some thieves. Robby remains sad so his mother decides to take him to visit his dad's partner, a police dog, who is staying at a kennel, unable to resume his duties, out of grief as well. Although unusual, Robby is allowed to adopt Cop Dog Marlowe and take him home, as the officers believe he is permanently skittish. This does brighten both Robby's and Cop Dog's life. However, Cop Dog behaves strangely whenever the two of them go near a woods, where Robby's Dad perished. Could there be clues to the killers at that location? Before they can discover this, nevertheless, Cop Dog perishes in an auto accident. More sad, sad news it is. Yet, when Robby blows his father's dog whistle, Cop Dog is back, as a ghostly helper to keep hope that the killers will be brought to justice. Will they?

 

 

Please note this children's movie begins with the lead character little boy's father being MURDERED.  The boy is given a traumatized police dog as a pet to make up for that.  The dog is promptly MURDERED and comes back as a demon who uses the boy as a vessel for his vengeance.

 

Cop Dog.

 

JACK FROST meets THE CROW meets AIR BUD.

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Yes this is real.

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All kidding aside, if someone actually put some money behind this franchise, so that it didn't look like a sub-Syfy production, it would probably do gangbusters at the box office. The books were a publishing phenomenon in their day. If small-time pap like GOD'S NOT DEAD can make $60 million (and HEAVEN IS FOR REAL has a, um, real shot at $100 million), imagine what a halfway decent-looking Christian disaster movie could haul in.

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Yes this is real.

 

All kidding aside, if someone actually put some money behind this franchise, so that it didn't look like a sub-Syfy production, it would probably do gangbusters at the box office. The books were a publishing phenomenon in their day. If small-time pap like GOD'S NOT DEAD can make $60 million (and HEAVEN IS FOR REAL has a, um, real shot at $100 million), imagine what a halfway decent-looking Christian disaster movie could haul in.

 

 

 

If there's that much sucker's money floating around, then Mitt Romney and Eric Cartman were both right.  If you're not rich, you're just not trying hard enough.

 

Damn it.

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You mean like....Noah? So about $345 million.

 

On one hand, Noah pissed off a lot of it's would be audience, both for not being "faithful" to the biblical account, and, bizarrely, also by people not realizing things like Noah getting drunk WAS faithful to the biblical account.  So this could presumably do better amongst the hardcore religious set.

 

On the other hand, it's appeal to the non-religious and casually religious might also be lower.

 

At any rate, the recent success of small budget indie and indieish Christian films always meant it was only a matter of time before a real studio put real money behind one of these.  I have no who is making Left Behind, but given Cage I have to assume it's got a bigger budget than any of the ones that have come before it (excluding of course the glory days of big religious epics like Ben Hur) and if it's successful, you just might see some of the real major players get in this game.

 

EDIT:  I stand corrected on part of this.  Stoney Lake Entertainment is reporting a budget of 15 million bucks, which is lower than I expected.  Oh god, don't tell me Cage is doing this because he's a fan of the books.

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20th Century Fox is right there.  They bankrolled that union-busting public-school-teachers-are-leaches movie with Maggie Gyllenhall and Holly Hunter.  I don't see why they wouldn't eventually start doing this shit.

 

I'm pretty sure that movie was on television the other day. I had no interest in watching.

 

Anyway, there is a big opportunity for the studios to screw it up. I don't think there is any big interest in finding the in between for Heaven is for Real and Noah (and Exodus later this year). If there was, you would have to believe the studios would overthink it and put it out at a super competitive time to capitalize on the fanbase. it's one thing to release a movie in January-mid April and another to put out Memorial Day weekend or Christmas Day. If it were Lionsgate or Relativity Media, I could see someone put a decent size budget behind it and push out on a reasonable date. However, if you're pushing stuff like I, Frankenstein to January 2014 when it was filmed in early 2012, I don't see it being the best bet to do a Christian cash grab on a non comic book movie jerkoff or Fast & Furious part XVI weekend.

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Well, no.  I was thinking a 40 million dollar budget put out in either early spring or late fall. 

 

$40 million disaster movie?

 

If you talking about one of those faux "See people do believe in Jesus" movies, then you can basically do that with $20 million and put it out through New Line Cinema or Focus Features. The fuck you need $40 million for.

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