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The Slammys (Raw 12/09/13)


Dolfan in NYC

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But, it's the Northwest. They're like Canada Jr. over there with their ironic hipster attitude. I'm surprised Vince didn't scream "SAY BIZARRO WORLD! SAY BIZARRO WORLD" from the Gorilla Position.

 

Speaking as a Northwest native, we were calling ourselves Canada Jr. before it was cool.

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Is that Laurenitis in the near right corner? 

 

Though the Indie Superstars vs dX seems like the long term plan, I would be perfectly okay with them doing Bryan/HBK and Punk/HHH as individual matches, as both have the potential to be ****+ matches  OR   Cena/Punk/Bryan for the unified title.

 

Yes, report form the post show I read said Booker had Bryan do the spinarooni then Cena then Cena brought out Laurenitis to do one, who then had Stephanie do one which then lead to Booker calling Punk to come out.

 

I think I want to see the other three more.

 

 

Here's Steph

 

EAtvCN3.gif

 

 

I'm being completely serious, but this isn't half bad especially in heels.

 

Steph got some rhythm in her.  I remember her bouncing to that American Dream beat.  She get from her daddy and all that jazz.

 

It's hard to overlook that terrible "All Grown Up" song though. 

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So I've been thinking about it for most of the day, and I've decided that the only thing that could have made the end segment better is if when Orton hit Steph, his years of therapy suppressing his IED went down the drain and he immediately turned back in to a sociopath.

If this had happened, the segment would have ended with Orton punting Dolph Ziggler who would have sold it by somehow detaching his head from his body.

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If this had happened, the segment would have ended with Orton punting Dolph Ziggler who would have sold it by somehow detaching his head from his body.

 

He could do twice as many jobs!

 

 

Better yet, the head could be booked against the body in a ppv match.  The contest would end in a draw (double pin/double dq/countout) so he could jiob twice in the same match.

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If this had happened, the segment would have ended with Orton punting Dolph Ziggler who would have sold it by somehow detaching his head from his body.

He could do twice as many jobs!

Better yet, the head could be booked against the body in a ppv match. The contest would end in a draw (double pin/double dq/countout) so he could jiob twice in the same match.

And then do it again on Raw the next night

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If this had happened, the segment would have ended with Orton punting Dolph Ziggler who would have sold it by somehow detaching his head from his body.

 

He could do twice as many jobs!

 

 

 

Floating-head jobber!

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But, it's the Northwest. They're like Canada Jr. over there with their ironic hipster attitude. I'm surprised Vince didn't scream "SAY BIZARRO WORLD! SAY BIZARRO WORLD" from the Gorilla Position.

 

RxT3g0h.png

I mean look at that sign to the left of those titles.

 

 

I was looking for the titties for a minute until i realized you said titles.

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I am skimming through the show. Umm.. Yeah, I get that a lot of people are upset that the show isn't "their" show, but why must so many people insist on being shitheads? That DB love-fest was Raw after Mania bad. Maybe I am not just a big enough fan to spend money on a show that I *know* is going to suck before I go and be completely bias towards everything but the shit on my token shopping list as to what "real wrestling is."

 

Tho, the idea of the Bellas winning makes for good trolling.

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But, it's the Northwest. They're like Canada Jr. over there with their ironic hipster attitude. I'm surprised Vince didn't scream "SAY BIZARRO WORLD! SAY BIZARRO WORLD" from the Gorilla Position.

 

RxT3g0h.png

I mean look at that sign to the left of those titles.

 

 

I was looking for the titties for a minute until i realized you said titles.

 

Actually after I typed it I had to look at it three times because I was so sure I accidentally typed titties. 

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That last segment was awesome. If I hadn't been conditioned to expect horrible ppv finishes the last 6 months, I'd be looking forward to TLC more than I am already. Cena and Orton just work so well together. Both of their promos were way more inspired than they've been in a long time. Punk and Bryan did something relevant. The spot with Orton crying "I'm sorry" in the corner while Cena stood awkwardly next to the authority was intriguing, which I don't think is a word I've used to describe anything on WWE tv since Summer Slam. Good stuff all around.

 

On the down side, it looks like they are going with two separate 3 on 1 handicap matches with no other gimmicks for a ppv. The Shield teasing a break-up and the Wyatts looking to recruit Bryan don't make them anymore interesting. Punk/Ambrose and Wyatts/Usos were fun matches, though.

 

Cena/Rock winning MOTY should've been retroactively nominated for LOL moment.

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But, it's the Northwest. They're like Canada Jr. over there with their ironic hipster attitude. I'm surprised Vince didn't scream "SAY BIZARRO WORLD! SAY BIZARRO WORLD" from the Gorilla Position.

 

RxT3g0h.png

I mean look at that sign to the left of those titles.

 

 

I was looking for the titties for a minute until i realized you said titles.

 

Actually after I typed it I had to look at it three times because I was so sure I accidentally typed titties. 

 

 

The fact that both of you don't know titties from titles makes you Bret Hart-level marks for the business.

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But, it's the Northwest. They're like Canada Jr. over there with their ironic hipster attitude. I'm surprised Vince didn't scream "SAY BIZARRO WORLD! SAY BIZARRO WORLD" from the Gorilla Position.

 

 

I mean look at that sign to the left of those titles.

 

 

I was looking for the titties for a minute until i realized you said titles.

 

 

Dolly Parton!

Titles, Mr. Connery. Not titties.

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Everyone was great tonight. I'm even giving Orton some props. I have zero confidence that this is some type of long term planning, but come on. That was a blast, and wow is John Cena on That Level that HHH never could reach. HBK and the Hitman were his only peers in that ring. And of course everyone who said Punk and Bryan were being depushed was clearly a short-sighted mark from the get go, so there are no surprises there.

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On the one hand, it would be cool if the Royal Rumble was for the unified world title, with several wrestlers they could legitimately give the belt to so that it would feel like the most unpredictable and wide open Rumble in a long time. On the other hand, I'm not sure if anyone can come up with a TLC finish to get there that wouldn't piss everyone off in the short term.

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