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The Slammys (Raw 12/09/13)


Dolfan in NYC

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Are FSW and others gonna shit on Cena for the Punk-levels of super shooty stuff in that promo? I liked it.

No dude, that's not his fucking gimmick.

I don't think it's a gimmick if someone doesn't like that borderline shoot stuff. I get it. I don't agree with them, but I get it.

I'm just talking about consistency.

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Pros:
Punk has nothing else to do at Mania if Bryan is already occupied elsewhere

If Shawn can't work a full match it probably helps

If they actually want to put Bryan over still, gives them the opportunity for him to go over both HHH and Shawn

 

Cons:
More boring shooty stuff

Devalues Shawn coming out of retirement for something that seems a bit meaningless

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You know if Bret and HBK had suddenly started brawling in the middle of everything, that segment would have been, hands down, the best ever.

 

Jesus Christ, you're right.  Bryan tags HBK and Bret puts him in the sharpshooter while screaming "Tap, motherfucker!"

 

 

The Internets would have exploded if they even teased that for a second and it would have been glorious.

 

I missed almost all of the show up until 11 PM so when I started watching I was amused at them chanting Daniel Bryan and Triple H getting more and more grumpy with each YES that was chanted.

 

That last segment was something else. You could almost sense the panic that the writing team must be living under Vince right now. They were like "if we're going down, we're going down in a blaze of glory".

 

Everything about that whole segment just worked perfectly. Cena doing his pandering act to turn the crowd back to him (and it worked brilliantly) and he ends up probably doing one of the best promo's of his carer. Randy Orton looking like the spoiled rich kid who just lost the girl or something at the end of the high school movie.. Then the brawl. That was so fun. If only as mentioned above, Bret and Shawn got into it.

 

The best part was when Stephanie went down and all I could think of was that episode of South Park where the Princess of Canada is kidnapped and Triple H diving to cover her. I just pictured Ike screaming PRINCESS...NOOOOOO. John Cena huddling with Triple H and Senator Kane looking at Orton with that big "what the hell did you do that for" look was tremendous. Orton has to be winning the match after all of that. I just want to see him with both belts in hand cut the most snobbish of promos. They should dig out the old cart they would carry The Macho King to the ring with just to have a bunch of jobbers (you know the Zack Ryders of the world) carry him to the ring.

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Pros:

Punk has nothing else to do at Mania if Bryan is already occupied elsewhere

If Shawn can't work a full match it probably helps

If they actually want to put Bryan over still, gives them the opportunity for him to go over both HHH and Shawn

 

Cons:

More boring shooty stuff

Devalues Shawn coming out of retirement for something that seems a bit meaningless

 

I think it works is Punk stays in irreverent Bart Simpson mode, rather than "voice of the people" mode.  That's the perfect foil for HHH's huffing and puffing.

 

Meanwhile, you have Bryan's endless earnestness and love of wrestling vs. HBK being a smarmy sellout prick who doesn't care anymore.

 

There could be some fantastic segments there.

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Did I miss Christian coming back or did they just dig him out of the mothballs for this segment?

 

Well technically he is a champion many times.  None of the reigns meant anything but that is besides the point

 

I was more surprised that Dolph Ziggler was hiding in the back.  He held the title for one month and never defeated anyone once with the title.

 

 

Hey, technically Dolph and Christian have the same number of world title reigns. 2 each. And Christian has the random distinction of maybe being Orton's best opponent.

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Cena is really a miracle worker on the mic. He managed to take a segment that nobody in the crowd cared about, about a match that nobody in the crowd seems to care about, and actually get them to react to something other than Daniel Bryan.

 

What a heatless main event this is going to be on Sunday. I don't think the WWE Universe really cares much to see either Cena or Orton as the "undisputed" champ.

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