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AEW RAMPAGE- 3/25/2023!


DEAN

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SATURDAY RAMPAGE!  HOBBS!  PENTA!  FOR THE BELT!  QT MARSHALL!  HARLEY CAMERON!  Hobbs bumps for PENTA!  PENTA bumps for Hobbs!  QT goes the Octagon thing of tying his mask to the ropes!  In picture in picture, Hobbs punches PENTA in the face.  PENTA makes a comeback!  Giant Side Slam by Hobbs!  PENTA hits a BEAUTIFUL Tope Con Hilo!  Two Double Stomps!  FOR TWO!  Aaron Solo is there to be PILEDRIVEN!  Hobbs hits PENTA with the belt!  That was good.  Kenny and Jeff Cobb!  To set up Kenny versus Will Ospreay at Forbidden Door?  ROCK HARD!  ROCCCCCKKK HHAARRRDDDD!  They are wrestling April 5th!  Fine.  BRODIE KING!  Secret Wrestling Machine, JAKE HAGAR!  HOSS FIGHT! SLOBBERKNOCKER!  This is great!  In picture in picture, Hagar beats on Brodie!  Brodie hits a MAGNIFICENT Bossman Slam!  CANNONBALL TO NOWHERE!  VADER BOMB to Brodie's feet!  ANNA J!  Attacks Julia Hart!  Brodie is rolled up!  For TWO!  Brodie hits a Fat Boy Michinoku Driver for the win!  That was good.  Could have used ten more minutes.  Leila Grey!  Is about to get slaughtered by TAYA VALKYRIE!  Smart Mark Sterling tries to SERVE Taya!  ROAD TO VALHALLA!  Sterling tries to serve Taya again!  ROAD TO VALHALLA II!  Taya can carry anyone and Jade is getting better so it might be a good match.  AWESOME!  BLACKPOOL COMBAT CLUB vs DALTON AND THE BOYS!  The Acclaimed have arrived!  Can Mike Bennett drag a SUPERMATCH out of the Acclaimed?  DADDY MAGIC loves the Rap music!  Scissor Me Timbers on Bennett!  Mike Bennett is fucking awesome in picture in picture, laying it in with Max Caster.  DECAPITATION by the Kingdom!  The Kingdom are great old school heels and are great beating the HEAT~! on Caster!  FUCKING BRAINBUSTER by Bennett!  Mike Bennett is fucking GREAT.  Caster leans into the Kingdoms kick to the face.  Maria is chased off by Billy Gunn and then Top Flight!  Gunn clotheslines Bennett!  Taven gets in a perfunctory nearfall before Bowens hits the Arrival and then Caster hits the Macho Man Elbow Drop for the win!  That was pretty good.  Mike Bennett fucking rules.  AEW RULES THE WORLD BUT NOT QUITE AS MUCH AS ROH RULES THE ENTIRE MOTHERFUCKING WORLD!

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Oh, for fuck's sake. They are using WWE Newspeak on commentary now.

"HE USED THE CHAMPIONSHIP! HE USED THE CHAMPIONSHIP AS A WEAPON!" 

Are they TRYING to drive me away?

On the upside COBB vs Kenny! I will probably really enjoy that. BCC vs Castle Boys, too!

 

Hager vs Brody King was a good hoss match!

Hager and Julia should team up as... The Hat Foundation.

 

There was a nice bit of unintentional comedy when nobody in the crowd flinched away from Juice Robinson.

 

Otherwise, this was a VERY sports-entertainment-ish episode of Rampage.

 

Edited by Gordlow
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15 minutes ago, Gordlow said:

Oh, for fuck's sake. They are using WWE Newspeak on commentary now.

"HE USED THE CHAMPIONSHIP! HE USED THE CHAMPIONSHIP AS A WEAPON!" 

 

I didn't catch it, but I assume this came from JR. Bad habits are tough to break after all. Let's all be thankful he's not calling Dynamite anymore. 

Edited by Nice Guy Eddie
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Special Time! Sunday Morning Rampage! Hobbs-Penta lead it off with a fine fine fearless wrestling contest. Harley Cameron really catches the eye at ringside. QT looks good with that big shiny Turner Network Television belt. Starks and Juicey square off on the microphones and make a date - alright. Brody and Hager give us a meaty slapper, and Anna Jaz takes out Stevie Nicks. A bit of fun there. Nice to see Swerve, and nice vidya peckige for Kenny and Korn on the Cobb. Leila Grey is starting to put it all together, but Taya makes quick work of her. I liked being surprised by the dominance. Taya really knows how to rock those furry boots. What a Bruiser! Nice 70s Get Up WIth It-Miles glasses on Jade, what a fabulously stylish lady. Mark Sterling takes a road trip to Valhalla. Taya is a big strong lady, I'm into this!  Bring on the Taya-Jade bout. Mark Henry gives us another nice preview. Acclaimed-Kingdom do not disappoint. Taven-Bennett paying their dues before they, perhaps, go on a nice little run. Maria really knows how to do it. Maybe a little too much shenanigans and ppl running around, but then the Acclaimed are highly recruited sports entertainers, so... Daddy Magic and Ange' r JR guys! Daddy Magic and the JAS like the Rap Music! I can't remember the last time I was looking forward to an upcoming skit segment, but I'm gonna give my full attention to Cool Hand and Daddy Magic taking Bones & Castro out on the town. How will the Daddies work together One wonders?! That was Rampage baby! And it fit the Sunday Morning schedule nicely. Now for some toast.

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42 minutes ago, AxB said:

Juice Robinson and Dalton Castle have the exact same speaking voice, and a similar cadence too. 

Juice Robinson really needs to be the flamboyant face again. "Rock Hard" Juice Robinson is just dull as fuck. 

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1 hour ago, AxB said:

Juice Robinson and Dalton Castle have the exact same speaking voice, and a similar cadence too. 

Are you suggesting one is actually the other's secret identity? Have they ever been seen in the same place at the same time?

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I can’t give a fuck about Hobbs as long as all the QTV garbage is involved. Sorry, I totally tuned out.

King and Hager was perfectly fine meatslapping but god Hager is so dull. Give me Hobbs-King for 20 without any ringside nonsense.

Taya is a large woman. Leila Gray is definitely better than when she first showed up, but she’s still not good. Jade looked cool, I’ll give her that.

Juice Robinson makes me laugh trying to be a tough guy. I’m looking forward to him and Ricky wrestling though.

Dynamite looks fucking awesome! Not a bad match on the card.

Main event was fun, I’m on Team “Kingdom are great” and they are excellent upper-midcard heels who can give you an excellent old-school tag team match and then take a clean pin. Gonna have to disagree with Max about the Maria photo spread though..

 

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