Hoffman

I'm going to look on the bright side. At least the Cardinals ruined the postseason hopes and dreams of teams that haven't won the World Series in 34 and 25 years, and they've officially become the most hated team (with the most hated fanbase) in baseball. Plus, Ty Wigginton will get a shiny National League Championship ring for his half-season of playing baseball the Cardinal Way.

True, but they consistently refuse to admit defeat, and always return to torment and irritate people, each installment more obnoxious and grating than the last, and... Oh, wait a minute. Still, go Cardinals!

In all seriousness, at this point I'd be absolutely stunned if they can keep the Red Sox scoreless after the 1st inning tonight, much less win two games in a row on the road. But there's no way The True Cardinals Fan can half-ass these things; now more than ever, we can't help but use our whole ass to cheer them on.

IF your down 3-2 in the World Series and need a spark, your beat already. . . . No one is going to get in the way between me and my delusions here! The Cardinals will crush baseballs and win handily! I'll crouch down in the corner and repeat this to myself, much like Bart reassuring himself the Krusty was coming to Kamp Krusty, if need be. Wacha and Kelly will pitch their hearts out, Pete Kozma will stun the world with some glorious offensive output, David Ortiz may actually strike out at some point. All they needed was a little airplane camaraderie and Imo's Pizza in their bellies. My rose-colored glasses are allowing me to see the truth here, I just know it.

Two years ago, the Cardinals' mantra was Happy Flight. After last night, it has to be Crappy Flight. This is clearly the spark the Cards have been looking for. If being stuck on a tarmac with your co-workers for seven hours doesn't give you the urge to crush baseballs all over (and out of) Fenway, nothing will.

The only problem with that is those teams went home trailing 3-2. . . . Oh, I'm not saying it's a well thought out delusion. I just want to grasp at straws and convince myself the Cardinals haven't dug too big a hole for themselves here. Now they're saying the Cardinals' plane has mechanical problems and they still haven't left for Boston. Looks like last night's Rally Paper Airplane hasn't had quite the same effect Rally Squirrel had two years ago.

As big a Cards fan as I am, I'd root for the Cubs if they got to the World Series, mostly because I'm a cranky old man who still believes in the whole National League superiority thing that was drummed into my head as a 1980s youth. Anyway, the last two times the Cardinals were down 3-2 in the World Series, they came back to win (1982 and 2011). The last time the Red Sox were up 3-2 in the WS was 1986, and, well... Sure, that really means absolutely nothing, except that baseball is all about numbers and history. And crazed Cardinals fans looking for any and all silver linings.

They're six blocks or so from each other, but they're short "downtown" blocks. Can't be much more than half a mile. I'm guessing since the World Series can't end tonight, there will be more fans at the Rams game than they were predicting over the weekend.

I'm disappointed in my fellow Cardinals fans. Whatever happened to "when in doubt, blame Matt Holliday"? He's the guy who went 0-for-4 and left Carpenter and Beltran stranded in the 7th after the Cards cut the lead to 4-2. Also, apropos of nothing: who let the loud, obnoxious Packers fan on the Metrolink ride home last night? It was a train full of good-natured shouting between the Cards and Sox fans until he started running his mouth.

I was lucky enough to be there tonight. What an atmosphere. As for the ending, I was a zillion miles away in the right field terrace, so I wasn't absolutely certain the Cardinals had won until Fredbird stormed the field waving his flag.Anyway, as much as everyone agrees it was the right call, I still have to say this to make light of it all:Jim Joyce made the call straight away at third base, and when have we ever known Jim Joyce to blow a call?

Last night all the haters thought the Red Sox were taking out the trash. Tonight, our Guardians took out the guys who took out the trash. Also, bloop singles? Double steals? Sacrifice flies? Overall pluckiness? Yep, Whiteyball triumphs over all.

Cool, apparently Fox is showing a colorized, baseball-related Three Stooges film here.Get it all out of your system tonight, gentlemen.

After watching this, I can't blame any of the guys who turned on Valiant years later in JCP. You're dealing with a guy who gladly pushes around someone's mother and makes her watch her son nearly bleed to death. Who wouldn't rather associate with the comparatively warm-and-fuzzy Paul Jones?

I was at the show. Apart from the in-ring festivities, my favorite part was the kids in the row behind me:They had absolutely no idea what "WWE" stands for; they weren't sure whether Tamina Snuka is The Rock's sister or his cousin; but they were 100% certain that Curtis Axel is the son of former wrestler "Mr. Handsome." Sadly for them, their Moms decided they had to leave right after the Bryan-Del Rio match because it's a school night. The time was only 9:30. That's just poor parenting.

If they haven't already, someone should merchandise the Ox Baker and Dusty Rhodes homemade t-shirts for people like me, because I'm too lazy to make them myself.

I'm completely fine with the new Pro Bowl uniforms. It's not like there's going to be any St. Louis Rams on either team anyway.

I was at the game last night, and this is pretty much exactly how all of us sensational, intelligent, pure-hearted Cardinals fans celebrated the win. I'll say it forever and ever, I absolutely love being a fan of a team everyone else hates/is sick of. It allows me to sleep like a baby during the entire NFL playoffs and after the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs every year.

Apropos of nothing, but the way everything looks in the back, I'm getting a real Backstage at the Muppet Theatre vibe here. It's like the Muppets moved to better digs, took the nicer furnishings with them, and left the old place to rot for years. Then Kermit was able to con, say, Dr. Teeth's even sleazier wrestling promoter brother into renting the place.

That was the St. Louis pronunciation as well. The story I always heard here is that Sam Muchnick and/or Larry Matysik asked Ted how to correctly pronounce his name, and Ted said the correct way is actually Dee-bee-oss.

I don't think he's actually there. I think he's just a vision that teaches Big Show how to be a successful serial killer, and a failure as a wrestler. Booker T could be WWE's version of The Great Gazoo. Big Show and Daniel Bryan can be his Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble. Booker appears out of nowhere, calls Show and Bryan dum-dums while pepping them up, but everyone else thinks they're talking to themselves to cope with HHH's antagonizing.

I'm not worried about our beloved Cardinals, nor am I fazed about the Pirates and Reds. The plan is the same as the past two seasons: the Cards will stagger into the playoffs, seemingly accidentally; then proceed to take out the experienced postseason clubs entirely through intelligence, sheer willpower, and determination (nevermind Ryan Howard's injury to close out the 2011 NLDS or the infield fly rule last year). Following that, they'll teach a valuable lesson to scrappy darlings whose cities haven't tasted World Series action in decades (see Milwaukee and Washington). Granted, there was a minor setback last year because nobody bothered to inform the Cardinals that wildcards now need to win 8 games to make it to the World Series. Mr. Selig will make up for that this year, though. I have faith in this as I pray every night before my personal Stan Musial shrine (as all sincere Redbird fans have). I see it now: top the Reds in the play-in game; handle the Braves or the Dodgers in the NLDS; break the hearts of Pittsburghers in the NLCS; polish off whomever the American League has to offer. It's a can't-lose scenario, and all the pieces are in place. We just have to make sure the other teams involved... ...play ball.

This show could have ended with Daniel Bryan singlehandedly taking out The Shield, Randy Orton, HHH, and Stephanie, with Big Show crying tears of joy, and Fandango and the Funkadactyls joining forces to lead the whole WWE roster in an impromptu celebratory dance. All that, and someone on here would have complained that the episode was irrevocably ruined because HHH called Big Show "Paul" once during the closing segment. I'm still looking forward to Daniel Bryan getting his revenge on that dastardly Randy Orton, so they haven't turned me off, at least.

Houston in the American League just seems wrong to me, too. I'd rather have seen the Nationals or Marlins be the team to switch leagues. At least Washington was traditionally an American League city, and if not them, surely Bud Selig could have made up some nonsense about having a slew of Marlins-Rays matchups each year being in the best interests of baseball. Granted, moving an eastern team would have made divisional realignment that much uglier.

September begins as it should. The Cardinals back into a first place tie, the Pirates kick off a 1-26 swoon for their inevitable finish below .500, both Chicago teams in last place, those cute, silly Royals playing just well enough for Kansas City fans to pretend there's baseball fever on the other side of Missouri, and all the while that filthy no-good greedy turncoat Albert Pujols sitting out the rest of the year because he further injured his bum foot tripping over a wad of ill-gotten Anaheim monies. Yes, things are looking up for St. Louis, and we have our benevolent overlord Darth Selig to thank for ensuring it all falls into place. He's like a kindly grandfather, really. In short: I do love being a fan of a team everyone else hates.