BEN!

Aries on top feels too much like old TNA. Even though he was there before he was still a guy fresh off being released from WWE coming in and immediately winning the World Title while cutting whiny promos. I know it was just because Alberto flaked but Pentagon as champ felt like a big step forward but he didn't even make it out of his first set of tapings with the belt. I think Penta vs. Callihan at Slammiversary for the title would've meant more than having to build up that greasy muskrat corpse on Callihan's head as having any value to anyone. I've said Moose should be their guy but they had Aries cut him down verbally and then beat him in front of his mother. Callis was looking real orange that day too, brother. I know they think Cage is the guy but I'm not feeling it. He feels like if you took Big Poppa Pump's crazy physique but kept young Scott Steiner's crazy athleticism but then subtracted all the crazy intensity. So he just comes off like a big guy doing moves with no emotion behind them. Kross at least has the crazy intensity. And he understands that there is no continuity as you can tell by the crowd changing between segments. Only May ham. I don't get this Eddie Edwards' character at all. I didn't want the old Tommy Dreamer much less a new one. That whole feud was for a stick. The man almost lost his eye and all he got was a stick. That's not even Dreamer's gimmick to give away. I think instead of Moose and Dreamer, Edwards should've gotten Shark Boy and New Jack to help him fight OVE. Shark Boy tried to drown Josh Mathews and you know New Jack wouldn't stop Edwards from killing Callihan in the woods. But I guess zombie Callihan is Lucha Underground's gimmick.

Aldis is so heatless as champ. Why show respect to Flip Gordon or Cody Rhodes? He could've been cutting tons of promos about what geeks the Bullet Club fans are and how Cody is a loser who couldn't add the ROH belt to the pot and all he has to offer up is his stupid novelty ring for All In. At least demand Cody put Brandi up for grabs for 30 days. Then we could get vignettes of Brandi working on Aldis' farm and shining up the NWA belt while Aldis cuts promos on Cody for a show that is never going to happen cause Corgan's NWA is basically vaporware. People clown on Jarrett for GFW but at least he really wanted to run a promotion. I don't get Corgan's NWA at all. You'd think someone that was going to throw a dude in a volcano would have some kind of creative vision but this DVD extra for a movie that's never coming out 10 Pounds Of Gold stuff is so dull. Hey, remember when Austin Idol was Aldis' manager? Not that I miss him but did he just disappear with no mention?

It's the 14th Slammiversary event. It's 16 years since the genesis of TNA not dying against all odds. Which IMPACT Roman numeralizes cause like WWE they don't know how anniversaries work either. Happy Slammiversary XV, everybody.

That's what I thought they should've done when Cody Rhodes stole Damien Sandow's case. Rhodes snatched it and chucked it into the ocean and then like the next week he had it fished out and returned all beat up. I wanted Sandow to try to cash in immediately and then Rhodes would come out with the GM (Long?) and told him to open up the briefcase and it would've just had a dead fish or seaweed in it and then he would've pulled the actual paper contract out of his back pocket and handed it to Long and Long would've been all "Sorry playa, this got Cody Rhodes' signature on it now." Which would have been legally binding in WWE by the precedent of Shawn Michaels adding himself to a WrestleMania title match by signing the contract for Benoit/HHH. Or he could've just torn it up and flipped Sandow off. What they did instead is establish that the briefcase itself is the actual contract.

Other than Karl lusting after Maria, there's nothing memorable about their NJPW run either cause they really aren't a good tag team. They're the poster boys for New Japan/Bullet Club hype. Anderson's solid enough but big league Gallows hasn't been any good since he was retarded.

I want to say there was some kind of Savage/Slaughter lockerroom interview where Mean Gene relayed word from Tunney that Slaughter doesn't get to pick his challengers and Savage would not be getting a title match and everybody freaked out.

They made people fly in to stand around for a show announcement for something that isn't even happening until the end of October. They could've announced it at SummerSlam when all these people were going to be there anyway and both events are even in the same state. Which begs the question what award Stephanie McMahon needed to get her entry in for by Monday?

I can't remember ever seeing a championship belt with a realistic face design before. Probably a reason for that cause those women's tag belts are weird looking. All they had to do was take the plume off the men's design and they would've had amazon helmets. I legit don't think the current writing team has any idea who Kurt Angle is so they just write him like he's Foley which is why he's so weird when it comes to the women. Kayfabe-wise there's no way Stephanie McMahon would've clued him in about women's tag belts or Great Lady Balls Of Fire the event.

WWE MUSCLEs finally getting released as San Diego Comic Con exclusives. https://www.funko.com/blog/article/coming-soon-glow-action-figures

Their most hardcore fans are trash. Have been for years. They cry about Cesaro but they're out there playing with beach balls. They whine about Rollins and Ziggler but they're out there reacting to a clock ticking down. Might as well just give the brats what they think they want and turn Reigns heel. Get the IC title back on Rollins. Get the Tags on McIntyre/Ziggler. Slip Reigns over Lashley to punch his ticket to SummerFest and the stage is set... It's The Big Dog vs. The Beast IV. Heyman gets the match to be No Holds Barred and it immediately breaks down into a donnybrook if you will. Lesnar hits the F-5 on Reigns but Rollins runs in and hits the Black Out on Lesnar. Lesnar recovers and chases Rollins around the ring until Ambrose returns and clobbers Heyman to distract Lesnar. Spear from the Big Dog sets up a triple powerbomb through one of the commentary desks followed by another triple powerbomb onto the steel steps. The reunited Shield throws Lesnar back into the ring and hits another triple powerbomb and Reigns puts one foot on Lesnar's chest for the win. The next night, Ambrose explains that he sat back and watched the ungrateful fans boo The Big Dog for simply working hard and they distracted Rollins during his iron man match and that injustice was unacceptable and that the entire WWE Universe was on notice and that he was feeling naked surrounded by IC Champ Rollins and Universal Champ Reigns and that the other champions were going to get served a dose of justice real soon. Reigns says he sent Brock back to MMA and he'll do the same thing to Bob and if Strowman is thinking about cashing in on him, he better think better and take those hands and just stick them in his pockets and shuffle away. McIntyre and Ziggler are asked about The Shield calling out all the champs and McIntyre goes on the offensive and challenges them to a tag title match tonight on Raw with Ziggler looking annoyed by this. Ambrose and Reigns answer the challenge and when it looks like Reigns has Ziggler beat, Strowman's music hits and The Monster Among Men enters briefcase in hand and he smacks Rollins away in the aisle but Reigns exits before he can get those hands. The next night on 205 Live (!?!), The Shield interfere in Cedric Alexander's match and triple powerbomb him through a table and steal his belt. Alexander gets stretchered out. Next week on Raw, Angle meets with Drake Maverick and The Shield. Ambrose is wearing the Cruiserweight belt. Maverick explains that Alexander can't be cleared for action for a couple of weeks due to The Shield's attack and he demands that Ambrose return the belt and doesn't even understand why he wants it cause he's not a cruiserweight. Ambrose accuses him of fat shaming. Reigns says he's looking real jacked, baby. Rollins says Ambrose should sue for slander but Ambrose doesn't do lawsuits cause of all the paperwork but justice will be served and The Shield stomp out Maverick. As they walk away, Reigns says he hasn't forgotten about Angle stretching out his vest. Backstage, Strowman is asked about his attempt at cashing in, blah blah these hands, etc. The Shield attack with lead pipes and decimate Strowman's knee and dump him into a dumpster and Reigns takes Strowman's MITB briefcase. McIntyre wants another match with The Shield. Ziggler doesn't and walks out during the match. Ambrose and Reigns win the tag titles over a game McIntyre. The Shield stand triumphant holding all of the red brand's trophies with The Big Dog as a dual champion and also possessing Strowman's MITB case. Now the WWE Universe is going to learn what it really feels like to get someone shoved down their throat.

There was a documentary about him a few years ago.

The Meltzer quote comes off like a stuck in the bubble wrestling guy wildly speculating as opposed to the Tweeter's translation of said quote coming off like Sinclair is definitely considering going to war with WWE. There's no way anyone that matters at Sinclair gives a shit about ROH in general much less MSG.

12 minutes. Good guy goes forward. Bad guys go backwards. People go banana. Boss hogs spotlight. That's PRO WRESTLING in a nutshell. If they can't get that then they can't get got.

I'll tell you why Gargano lost. He's not wearing jeans. Those Baby Gap-ass lookin' cargo pants aren't proper street fight wear. Where are the Fashion Police when you need them?

That's the thing with Little Women. We get older, they stay little.

Now I want Ole Anderson wearing a big blinged out horseshoe around his neck as Disco Inferno's hype man. "Oil of Ole all day everyday!"

It was definitely JJ Dillon.

I like how the walk-out narrative makes it sound like Reigns was just sitting in the ring alone and that smark-ass favorite Samoa Joe wasn't also out there getting walked out on.

I don't think he's got anything but a handshake deal since he hasn't done anything with them outside of Canada. I mean, this is a company that hasn't bothered to get anything signed formally with three of their last four World Champions.

WWE proudly presents The 2nd Annual Great Balls Of Fire!!

When I discovered that it was a thing I could do, I used to watch WCW Saturday Night with the closed captioning on. The closed captioneer trying to keep up with Dusty Rhodes was almost as funny as his commentary. They'd do alright until Dusty would get to soliloquing if you will and then you'd get some missed words and then some "..." and then just "unintelligible". Deaf people really missed out.

Even more fun if you imagine Teddy Hart and Mr. Money on the other side of the ring.

Surely Nakamura/Styles is going to be a ladder match cause there's already two on this PPV. And nothing says definitive winner like one guy climbing a ladder faster than the other. "Bork no go Money In Bank. Money already in bank. Fat man put there for Bork. Bork go woods now. Shoot animals." They got to get Reigns back in the MITB match. Then when he wins, he can cut a salty-ass promo about wanting to cash in that night but Lesnar's not there. Then at Raw, he can cut another promo about cashing in but of course Lesnar's not there. Then the next week, he can talk about Lesnar not being at any of the live events that weekend and not there tonight and he doesn't want to carry the briefcase around forever so it's time for Plan B. Then later that night while Rollins is defending the IC title against Mahal, an SUV drives into the arena and right up to the ring and Reigns pops out of the passenger side and Superman punches Singh and then slides into the ring and spears Mahal. Rollins wants to know what's going on and Reigns tells him it's time for Plan B. If Brock won't come to him, he'll go to Brock and since he's going to be chilling and getting his mind right for battle, he needs Rollins' help. Rollins thinks he wants him to drive but Reigns says he's already got a driver and Ambrose comes out of the driver's side and they tell Rollins they need him to make sure the ref doesn't run away when he wakes up and Ambrose gives the ref the Dirty Deeds and they throw him in the backseat. Rollins is complaining about needing to defend his title but Ambrose tells him not to worry about it cause paperwork. Then we get weeks of The Shield driving around looking for Brock and then Reigns and Lesnar finally fight in the wilderness of Canada for the Universal Championship. Maybe they'll ride snowmobiles and see a bear. It'll be cool.

This is the place where wooden folding tables are metal objects for Full Metal May-Ham. I finished their January One Night Only subtitled Collision In Oklahoma. I only wanted to watch it cause I saw that it had matches from Canada on it and I wanted to see what the reasoning was for that. It's cause the Oklahoma stuff really wasn't broadcast quality. 5 camera shoot but none of them were any good. 3 guys on the floor and only one of them was steady but he was shooting up into the ring and into the lights. Hard cam looked a mile away and they had a corner security-like cam that was alright but kind of awkward so it didn't get much play. Just a ton of missed shots. There's even a backstage promo with one of the locals (not the Wild Samoan Sika to Eli Drake's disappointment) where he says to just read his shirt and the cameraman doesn't pan down at all so you can't see anything but the first word. I'm really surprised WWE hasn't snatched up the Von Erichs already. The big one's kind of wild but the smaller one looks solid. Alberto and Lashley both acting like complete babyfaces but still wrestling heel-ish was weird as well as including Alberto's entire "we kill ourselves for the real fans" post-match promo and handshake with Lashley considering at the time both were unabashed heels on Impact TV. Alberto kept his shirt on the whole match. Also, you can see Justin Roberts but they never aired the ring announcements. I'm pretty sure 3 of the 4 Canadian matches were used as filler on Impact already. If the production were better in Oklahoma this might of been alright but as is they got a lot of nerve trying to charge people money for this.

I'm willing to accept and embrace a lot of nonsense when it comes to the pro wrestling but WWE's administrative oversights are a bridge too far. Why would anyone with a non-concussed brain grant John Cena free agency? And why does no one want the US Champion? Is it because of the paperwork involved with the title? The paperwork must be a lot more streamlined for the Raw Tag Titles cause The Hardys just walked in off the street last year and they just let a random kid from out of the crowd compete this year.