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BEN!

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Everything posted by BEN!

  1. Crowning the first champion by having the winner of Omega/50-year old Jericho face the winner of the free pre-show battle royal featuring a bunch of unknowns and jabrones and Glacier is a really Russo-ass way of doing things. What's the rush? Why not put a tournament together and have the finals take place on the first TV show? And how are they drawing numbers for this battle royal if Spears got his from a deck of cards. A standard deck has four 10s. And 52 cards and there's only 21 entries.
  2. Batman vs. TMNT was really good. I haven't read the comics so I don't know if it's a direct adaptation or not. Nowhere near as graphically violent as most of the DC animated movies. No cursing either. Kind of refreshing.
  3. I'll tell you what they should do about Page's match, baby! Have Page issue an open challenge via the internet machine and then while he's in the ring waiting for his opponent, an SUV rolls into the arena and out pops COLONEL ROBERT PARKER! The Colonel introduces his new charge, "The Wild-Eyed Southern Boy" Tracy Smothers who tells the audience that if anybody chants "Tracy Sucks" then everybody dies! He charges into the ring and gets superkicked immediately but when Page goes for the cover, the Colonel says that's not his opponent and opens the door to the SUV and out pops "The Cowboy" James Storm who charges into the ring, ducks a superkick and delivers one of his own and as he goes for the cover Page small packages him but the Colonel yells to stop counting cause Storm's not his opponent either and opens the SUV and out pops the savage strong man with the swag Jake Hager who charges into the ring and takes Page to a cul-de-sac's worth of suplexes and pulls off his killer cowboy boot and locks on an ankle lock and then the Colonel says it's time for Page to meet his opponent for the evening and out of the driver's side exits BUNKHOUSE BUCK who takes Page's boot and immediately whacks him in the head with it giving Page a DQ victory but The Stud Stable don't seem fazed by the loss and keep beating the shit out of Page and end up hogtying him and throw him in the SUV and take off down the strip where they end up at that wedding chapel where the Colonel almost married Sherri Martel. They throw Page out in front and they all put on bow ties and put one over Page's mouth like a gag. When the minister asks which one of them is going to be marrying Page, Missy Hyatt exits the SUV and walks to the back of the SUV and opens the door where the Stud Stable pull out a tied up Burnard The Business Bear. Hyatt puts a wedding veil on Burnard's head and The Stud Stable forcibly nod Page and Burnard's heads up and down for the vows and then force them to kiss to seal the deal. Then Missy Hyatt pulls Page's wedding gift out of her Gucci purse, a pack of condoms cause even though it's his honeymoon he probably doesn't want to go bearback with Burnard cause she's heard that the kind of business Burnard is into is risky business, baby. Then they pull a wedding cake out of the SUV, it's a big SUV alright. LUXURY! And they smash Page's face in it and call him "fatty" and then roll away laughing and laughing as Burnard attempts to console his new husband. Why did The Stud Stable engage in this heinous plan? How will Adam Page avenge himself while dealing with the damn numbers game? What kind of STDs does Burnard have? And most importantly how will The Stud Stable's RAP (Replacement Above Pac) numbers be scored? All these questions and more will probably never be answered cause they'll just use someone like Shawn Spears as PAC's replacement.
  4. Finished Crockett Cup and Aldis/Scurll was really good and I'm not a Scurll guy at all. Aldis' best post-TNA match and easily the best Scurll match I've ever seen. Practically none of his spinning around flapping his arms villain bullshit in it. Definitely worth seeking out. Ricky Morton telling Black Ref to get out of his way so he could reach out to the fans for sympathy. Jocephus is completely generic looking now. If they didn't announce him, I never would've recognized him. James Storm trying to cut a serious promo and getting his feet wrapped in streamers. I don't know why Madusa was there. Pretty sure she didn't either.
  5. If they're serious about stats then they should bring in Scott Steiner. JR: "Let's go to Mookie and Tony with our analytics breakdown of the week. Back in my day an analytics breakdown was what you took when you were all backed up, bah gawd." *SIRENS blare* "If you're talking numbers and stats, then you don't go to the horse's ass, you go to the genetic freak that's hung like a horse and that's a fact! I'm a college educated man and I heard that AWE was a progressive company and there ain't nobody more progressive than the Big Bad Booty Daddy! I please all my freaks equally. Now let's breakdown the numbers. I'm looking out at this mass of fatass and I'm seeing a male to female ratio of 5000 to 1 and those 2 ain't nowhere near hot enough to even being in the bottom 1% of my freaks. Now we look at diversty and you people are 98% white trash. And you break it down a little more to the demos and 87% care way too much about a cartoon hedgehog and not enough about a little beaver. You add all that up and that's not how you spell progress...cause Big Poppa Pump is your hookup. HOLLER IF YOU HEAR ME!"
  6. I hope the battle royal was changed cause Shad saw "Over The Budget" and flipped his shit. "How can you already be over budget on the first show?" AEW has really got to start making their graphics look more like a fight poster or at least make the word 'WRESTLING' visible cause to the uninitiated that doesn't look like pro wrestling. Maybe a poker tournament but the title and nude Kenny Omega makes it look like a strip poker-themed double penetration gay porno. Similarly confusing banner outside the MGM Grand. https://twitter.com/CodyRhodes/status/1108864936355262466/photo/1
  7. Upon further reflection, I've changed my pick. I want Carmella to win MITB and cash in on Becky Lynch at the end of the night. Nobody's been screwed over more by Becky Lynch than Carmella. She won the first women's MITB match and Lynch complained so she won it a second time and Lynch still complained. Won the title from Charlotte Flair. Becky Lynch couldn't take it from her and continued complaining. Lost the title because Lynch got pinned and I don't think ever got a rematch cause Lynch jumped the line on the basis of being a terrible friend and the fans being total crybabies. Won MMC2 to get the final spot in the Rumble and Lynch entered after her.
  8. I've been listening to some of Hawkins/Ryder's podcasts and and they sound like Don West talking about Ken Griffey, Jr. rookie cards when it comes to that Retro Ring. It's only $20 at Amazon. Some of the figures are listed for more than that. I'm not saying this is poor financial investment advice but I don't really think a kid that's 10 in 2019 is going to have any nostalgic pangs in 2039 for an 80s style ring in a 90s retro format. If you really wanted to speculate on something like this then the figures of the current guys might be a better thing to buy and stash away for a decade or two. I can't believe they want credit for getting Mattel to ditch the stands. Maybe ask for them to get placed in the package behind the figure but they don't have to use it if they don't like it. And the price didn't go down so there's no savings attached to it and now you can't do this: https://amzn.to/2GueTWC
  9. I hope Dustin Rhodes has his giant cow-size dog walk him to the ring. Pecking order seems clear to me. Office guys up. Everyone else under. I think the biggest issue is they don't really have any heels and even the ones they have won't be able to get any real heat cause the fan base they've cultivated doesn't seem like the kind that would buy in for that. They're about popping for the highspots and being in on the joke. I don't really think that's going to get it done for very long especially as a TV product.
  10. Bully Ray's big plan to turn TNA around was putting Dixie Carter through a table. He should really come up with a new playbook. Lifeblood doesn't even seem like a real group. Flip Gordon seems like more of a member than Tenille Dashwood ever did.
  11. It'd be dope if Charlotte taps out in the opener and then just shows up during the MITB match and takes the briefcase and then cashes in and wins one of the Women's Belts at the end of the night.
  12. Someone worked themselves into a shoot thinking they were going to get to pose at the end of WrestleMania.
  13. Remember when Billy Corgan bought the NWA and you fucking marks thought he was going to save pro wrestling? He also had negotiations with TBS. When it was "reported" that the "wrestlers" were unhappy with new NJPW management, it was because The Elite were told to stop selling their personal bootleg-ass Bullet Club shirts. And the main reason to temper expectations for AEW is because the venue for Double Or Nothing can't even hold double.
  14. Mildly disgusted? Tama Tonga was pointing and laughing at them on his way to the back. Were they there the whole show? That one dude's 7-feet tall. You can't disguise that. Bully being the only one to hit the ring made it look like a work more than anything. He came out so fast out of the stage like he was just waiting at the go position for his cue. At least send out the rest of the Who's That of professional wrestling from the ROH side of the Honor Rumble too. And then he exited back through the stage so everyone could see him instead of off to the side like everyone else.
  15. https://dai.ly/x2t8uz I watched this again and there's nowhere near as much Dusty/Sting interaction as I remembered and while Hall sells a little over exaggerated like an asshole early on, he doesn't appear messed up. I must've conflated this with some other Hall match.
  16. Tessa Blanchard vs. Eli Drake never made any sense. They're both heels and I can't recall them ever even having interacted with each other. The drama could've been easily avoided if IMPACT had just asked him if he wanted to do the match before publicly announcing it though. I mean he could've also conveyed his displeasure to the office privately instead of publicly.
  17. Scuttlebutt on the hotline is Ambrose was wandering the streets of Hoboken on a recruiting mission. Word is he's already signed up: Big Whoop Carl - He's big. He goes "Whoop". His name's Carl. Runny Beats - You know those warnings on prescription medication ads about one of the possible side effects being diarrhea? Turns out they're true cause yoyoyo away he goes just like Grammy award winning recording artist Lenny Kravitz, this former DJ is always on the run. Mama mia! And the biggest signing, Tin Can Pan. Former dot com millionaire turned tin can enthusiast has made it his life mission to collect every tin can in the world with the plan to build the Tin Canitorium the future home of All Hobo Wrestling.
  18. The only match that matters is tonight.
  19. From last month, Meltzer's lousy writing making it sound like the Saudi shows wouldn't be shown on the Network. He was saying that since they cannibalized their PPV buys with the Network that instead of WrestleMania, the Saudi shows make the most money per show now not that they wouldn't be shown on the Network. And on if Sting and Dusty Rhodes ever wrestled, no. But at Uncensored 1998, it's Hall vs. Sting but Hall's either on some shit or just being a lazy asshole cause Dusty's doing all the heeling and taking all the bumps. Match is less than ten minutes. And about Stars & Stripes wrestling the SST on a Nitro dark match. It was actually Todd Champion and Curtis Thompson, the WCW Patriots against Samu and "The Samoan Savage" Sam Fatu on 12/15/97. The Patriot and Fatu (Rikishi) would've been in the WWF at the time.
  20. Balor shouldn't do blackface cause he looks like a goddamn idiot...invoking demon "powers" against the guy he's beaten over and over again including in handicap matches and not against someone like the beast incarnate champion of the universe. They should jam this match and Big Dog/McIntyre together cause neither of those guys need to be losing at this point and they can save the IC title match for Raw. Also, take Angle/Corbin, Mysterio/Joe and Cena and Elias and mash that shit together cause Angle can barely move, Joe is almost as broke down, and Corbin and Elias can bump big enough to carry it. People were crying about Charlotte Flair getting a title shot against Asuka on SD when retired-ass Beth Phoenix and nothing-happenin' Nattie Neidhart, recently defeated Jax/Snuka, and haven't gotten a win together in like a decade Hawkins/Ryder are all getting title shots on the biggest show of the year.
  21. The idea that two days of WrestleMania would be better is hilarious. They'd do it in two different cities and each show would still be 8 hours long. Ain't nobody got time for two days and 16 hours of WrestleMania. They got like 300 people under contract. Some people just gonna have to stay their ass back in catering like they do every week. No Raw Tag Team Championship match. Give them 30 the next night on Raw. No US Championship Match. 0A. Cruiserweight Championship 0B. SD Women's Championship with Asuka/Rose/Deville 1. Open main show with the Andre The Giant Abandon Ship Battle Royal with Finn Balor demon entrance. Get the Strowman/SNL shit done here too. 2. Cancel the Fabulous Hoopla battle royal. Replace it with the Women's Tag Team Championship Stevie Ray YakDown Invitational Gauntlet Match. Champs start against 1 team with a new team entering every minute. No tags cause who needs those in a tag team match. Eliminations can occur via pinfall, submission, or one member of a team being thrown over the top rope to the floor. And no DQs so maybe go over to special guest commentator Stevie Ray and ax him for that slapjack and then get ready to turn up cause it's gonna be on like a steaming pot of neckbone, sucka! 3. SD Tag Team Championship with The Usos defending in the Booker T. Fave Five Aw Shucky Ducky Quack Quack Invitational Usos Penitentiary Steel Cage Match against The Hardys, The New Day, The Bar, The Club, Rusev/Nakamura, and Heavy Machinery. Booker T. can't count, bless his heart. The only way to win is when both members of a team escape the cage and touch the floor. Now can you dig that, sucka! 4. WWE WHC D-Brine v. Kofi Kingston 5. Shane McMahon vs. Miz in the Best In The World Bunkhouse Match with Vince McMahon chained to George Mizanin at ringside like they're on work release on Col. Parker's plantation. And speak of the devil, after Shane and Miz are both down from clocking each other with cowbells, a UTV comes zooming to ringside and Col. Parker gets out from behind the wheel followed by THE MONSTER MENG who gives a double Tongan Death Grip to Vince and George while BUNKHOUSE BUCK loads the BITW trophy into the UTV and The Stud Stable drive off with Col. Parker officially declaring BUNKHOUSE BUCK as THE BEST IN THE WORLD cause possession is nine tenths of the law, baby! 6. Then you settle things down a little with Elias. Who gets interrupted by Cena. Who gets attacked by Lashley and McIntyre. And out comes Reigns and Angle and now you can holla cause it's a 6-man tag team match, player. 7. 35-minutes of Triple H jacking off guest starring Dave Bautista. 8. Styles v. Orton 9. Bork v. Rollins 10. Raw Women's 3-way. And that's still too damn many matches.
  22. http://gwhnewsandnotes.blogspot.com/2019/02/honest-john-cheatum-passes-away.html http://gwhnewsandnotes.blogspot.com/2019/02/obituary-and-services-for-honest-john.html Probably best known as Abdullah The Butcher's manager. Really surprised he was only 59. And a shoot repo man.
  23. Booking Memphis Wrestling with Jerry Jarrett Randy Hales has a podcast too. Haven't listened to it yet. Memphis Memories with Randy Hales
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