AxB

If you book someone to work as a heel, and to cheat like a heel, but the fans refuse to boo and keep cheering for them instead... then they aren't actually a heel. If they're getting overwhelming cheers no matter what they do, they're a babyface. And the promoter was wrong to push them as a heel when they couldn't get over as one, and can only be over as a babyface. But enough about Xavier Woods. This Undertaker angle is silly.

Cody's a Rhodes. He can take it.

He has terrible teeth and terrible claws, And terrible tusks in his terrible jaws. He has knobbly knees and razor sharp toes, And a poisonous wart at the end of his nose. His eyes are orange, his tongue is black, He has purple prickles all over his back! Oh help! Oh no! It's a Gruffalo!

Watch both of them. Then you can tell us which is the Keanu.

I think the thing there was, Dead Man's Curve (the Matthew Lillard one) got a small cinematic release in the UK whereas Dead Man on Campus went straight to video*. Whilst in the USA, Dead Man on Campus was the bigger film (or maybe just scheduled to come out first), so they changed the title to avoid confusion. And ended up with a confusing title. They should have just called it Pass by Catastrophe, really. * The only people in the UK who've seen it are the Saved by the Bell super-obsessives (who are - to this day - still upset that Channel 4 stopped showing NYPD Blue when Jimmy Smits left), and Buffy obsessives who'll watch anything Alyson Hannigan has ever done. Which is quite a small sample of Saved by the Bell/ Buffy fans (who are also a small sample of people to begin with).

See three weeks ago when we were talking about 2 movies that are the same movie? We forgot Dead Man's Curve and Dead Man on Campus. Just saying.

So I'm finishing up my shift, and the last thing I do before I lock the doors is bring the first extinguishers inside (so they don't get stolen or vandalised at night when nobody's there). Only someone's already vandalised one of them by pulling the locking bolt out of the handle (which I don't know). I'm just wrestling them through the doorway (there's four extinguishers, two on two stands with wheels) and somehow the trigger/handle catches on the doorframe, there's a massive loud hiss and suddenly I'm standing in a cloud of thick pink fog. That's ninety minutes ago. My mouth is really dry now.

Reading the Walking Dead: Rise of the Governor. It's... not very well written. He keeps using the exact same description - word for word - of what happens when the car you're in starts reversing, and you're pushed forwards against your seat belt. And he has a trope where someone enters a new area, and he doesn't see this detail over to his left, he doesn't see this detail over to the right, he doesn't see this detail on the back wall, all he sees is the one life-threatening cliff-hanger object right in front of him. Like fine, I get that, it's a nice bit, but you shouldn't use it too many times in a row. And if we the readers are going along with this guy, seeing things from his perspective and so on, shouldn't we see the only thing he sees... as the only thing we see? The story isn't really a departure from anything we've seen in the regular version of TWD anyway, it's just happening to someone else... but he still skips straight to the post-apocalypse, without showing us the gradual erosion of society that would be the most interesting part. Have to keep reminding myself that this is the back story of the crazy Danny Trejo looking guy from the comics, not the suave politico from the TV show. I'm going to finish it any way. It doesn't look that long, and I got it from the library so it's not like it's a waste of money or owt. But I've got Little Green by Walter Mosley out as well, and that's probably better.

Producers and Directors are arrogant egomaniacs who think they can prove their greatness by succeeding where someone else has previously failed? Also, there's probably a feeling that the whole 'video games make a lot of money, so if we base a movie off of a popular game, everyone who likes the game will see it and we'll make a fortune' concept is bound to come good sooner or later. But most video game companies are protective of their licences, and Hitman is already either still licensed from the first film, or the owners just think the damage is already done, so why not let them try again?

Well, they're clearly proud of the cast, because the text at the end of the trailer goes: Jessica Chastain Kristen Wiig Jeff Daniels Michael Pena Kate Mara Sean Bean Sebastian Stan Donald Glover and Chiwetel Ejiofor Twentieth Century Fox presents a Scott Free/ Kinberg Genre production A Ridley Scott Film Matt Damon The Martian Jessica Chastain Kristen Wiig Jeff Daniels Michael Pena Kate Mara Sean Bean Sebastian Stan Donald Glover and Chiwetel Ejiofor Music by Harry Gregson Williams. And it's actually on screen long enough for you to read one or two of the names. Usually they flash by in half a second and all you can see is that there was some text on the screen. What's the over/ under on the Honest Trailer for this movie pretending it's called InterBetter?

You know how Bill Murray warned Johnny Depp about playing Hunter S Thompson? How if you play him once, you end up playing him for the rest of your life? I think that happened to Val Kilmer when he played Jim Morrison.

Forward planning. If you never do conventions, when you start doing them everyone assumes you're washed up and can't get a gig any more. Whereas if you've been doing them all along (or do them as early as possible, stop doing them when you're "too busy", and then go back when the money dries up), nobody thinks you're a hoity-toity 'too good to be here' snobby twat. Also, screen actors envy rockstars and their legions of screaming fans. And conventions (or premieres the way Tom Cruise does them) are the closest way to approximate that.

Any time (in pretty much any sport) you have a player with the 'talented but difficult' tag, you'll be able to find a manager or coach who thinks they're the one to make a team player of him. And there are more than a few who basically specialise in doing that. So I wouldn't write Balotelli off entirely yet. I'd just mostly write him off, mostly. Today's back pages were mostly going with the 'All The Way From Memphis' puns today. But if he keeps his form up, there's plenty of other songs that mention his namesake city.

In ME3 Online, I have the Widow, but when I'm using my Salarian Engineer I use the Krysea Sniper instead. Much lighter, much faster reload, and I get my Incinerate and Overload back in seconds. But I usually play Krogan Sentinel and let someone else take care of the fancy stuff.

I found that fight really hard on my first playthrough, because I went straight to find Liara as early as possible, and got stuck in a fight I wasn't really ready for - should have done a few sidequests and levelled up a bit first. I managed it eventually, but it was when I realised that this isn't a game where you gun your way through. You really need to use your biotics and tech abilities (and those of your teammates) a lot.

Ambrose can't turn heel, he's got a movie coming out soon.

I watched Safety Not Guaranteed last month. It was OK. It wasn't brilliant. Good characters speaking good lines, but the plot is building up to a climactic event that you want to see the aftermath of. And the aftermath of that climactic event is that the screen goes black and a list of who the cast and crew were and what they did rolls up the screen. I hate it when films decide to let you imagine the good bit. On t'other hand, his first film's main star was Aubrey Plaza, and his second film's main star was Chris Pratt, so we can look forward to Rashida Jones becoming Queen of the Universe in Star Wars 9.

Disneyland and Disneyworld to both have new Star Wars world areas (in about 2017). 14 acres each. Also, Colin Trevorrow to ruin direct Episode 9.

Tony Pulis = Career Killer. The funniest thing would be if Chelsea ended up finishing 5th (or lower) due to an injury crisis affecting all 11 of their first team players. At the same time: Jose Mourinho has a bad result, blames medical staff to obfuscate and distract from the team performance, media says this is blatant distraction techniques, then spends the next eight days printing Eva Carneiro muck-raking for no reason whatsoever. Makes no sense. If you know he's trying to distract from the real issue, ignore the distraction and address the real issue, no? EDIT: Does Jose write the match reports on Chelsea's official website himself? https://www.chelseafc.com/news/latest-news/2015/08/match-report--manchester-city-v-chelsea-.html

Yes, but I'd already failed a mission because my horse ran over the guy I was getting the mission off, and it was a straws and camel's backs situation.

Did anyone ever play Red Dead Revolver, by the way? And does it have any storyline continuation with Redemption? The Glitch I had, I was attacked by Zombies and Zombie Wolves while I had lassooed the horse, but when I went to run away, or get on my dead horse, or change to a gun I could fight with, I got stuck doing the 'reeling in the rope' animation. And then I got eaten.

Wouldn't it be funny if the one of the XBox 360 games to become backwards compatible was Bully: Scholarship Edition? PS. Dear Rockstar. Please make Bully 2 soon.

Host dude is named Mark Chapman. But he prefers to go by Chappers, for obvious reasons.

I decided it was stupid to have owned Red Dead Redemption for so long without completing it, so I did. Wasn't expecting that ending... kind of denies the possibility of a sequel, with the game ending in the year 1914. Not really any time left in the Old West after that. Was going to go straight on to the Dragon Age series, but I thought I'd give Undead Nightmare a try instead. It's fun. But it's annoying. It glitched out when I was trying to break a magic horse.

See, if you wanted to do a group playthrough in a year's time, I'd be up for it. But I only just finished them for the first time, and I want to do the Dragon Age trilogy now. But when I do play it again, I'll go Male and Renegade, because that's the opposite of what I did the first time. And spend all three games trying to get off with Kaiden, because Ashley is racist about aliens (and only started looking attractive in the third game anyway).