Lamp, broken circa 1988

I really like using my hands and really hate stories. It's taken me some weird places, but it's served me well so far.

It doesn't, though. It is entirely up to the player whether or not to follow the storyline or fuck it off entirely and go play golf/run a triathlon/get a lapdance/rob liquor stores/smoke a cigarette on the pier while watching the sunset. That's why I said "a problem." When you do the story, it has that problem. When you do the side content, it is boring and colors the story in an even worse light. The things you do that are non-violent have more mechanical nuance than anything that happens in the actual story, yet not enough mechanical nuance to build a whole game around. So returning to the story means returning to the violent content that is not as mechanically engaging as its peers, and stands out as being more tedious than the act of playing half a golf game. That is not a problem The Last Of Us has. The Last Of Us does, however, have that first problem real, real bad. EDIT: Real quick, can we at least have a consensus that "functioning gameplay" =/= "good gameplay?" Everything in both games works and I never want to do any of it. I would give them basically the same score, because to me they're the same game: really expensive, huge creations of incredible scale, respectable for the sheer human work it took to finish, mechanically floppy, totally hollow. The nicest thing I can say about either is that I'm glad they got most of the GOTY stuff and not Bioshock Infinite, despite enjoying playing Bioshock Infinite. That game has real, real problems. Like, "the industry is in a bad place" problems.

every time someone says something good about final fantasy x, I just hear the Tidus forced laughter in my head

Shibata's return is what got me back into New Japan after giving up on puro for a few years. I have -never- seen what people see in Wagner. He's charismatic, annnnnnnd...

Be fair, though: that is also a problem GTAV has.

hi hello although I'm in university and have a bunch of tests next week so I'm not really getting a lot in at the moment. Hit level six, discovered which maps I hate (CORPORATE CAN GO FUCK ITSELF), figuring out how to adapt my dont-stop-for-nothin' routine to the larger maps.

Future Islands are amazing, and were before they ever got on Letterman. Break up anthem masters. Skip to 8:00 to see the kind of singer he is. It is the kind of voice I would do almost anything to have. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLlowZvis0Q

This world where tyler black is a wrestler I want to see and cuts promos that sell me on a story? This world is terrifying.

Wait, Virus won?!?!

Ray "Death" Rowe is an awesome name for not a pro wrestler. Like, maybe a biker?

re: Dark Souls 2 getting it on PC, so I'll get back to you in May

Bray just hasn't shown me enough in ring for me to feel comfortable about voting for him. He's got GIFs and quotes and only three matches that I remember anything about.

PC version just unlocked. On a scale of 1-"You've got to be fucking kidding me," guess how up the servers have been.

Virus is an utterly amazing worker, but Rush is the dude that got me back into CMLL and has kept me in. My vote's entirely emotional.

given that Daisuke Sekimoto is eye-searingly terrible, and Shibata is responsible for several of my favorite puro matches, I went with Shibata

Being fair, Bioshock wasn't supposed to come to PS3 either. At the same time, Titanfall uses microsoft server structure. So if anything is likely, it's that a sequel -might- come to PS4.

40 pounds in three months what the holy fuck

this one is called "Survival of Oh Fuck This" and you can blame this on my biology class. You play as a non-specific mammal. You have a shitty mutation. It sucks. Everyone laughs at it. The goal of this game is to out-propagate all fitter mates of your species until your species is totally ruined, because fuck those guys. PHASE 1: Information collection. Your reluctant parents and siblings teach you about food sources, poisonous plants and predators. Your shitty mutation is random (one eye is a tusk, crab walking instead of quadripedal, butt ears, butt face, butt hands, things like this), but always mocked. PHASE 2: God (Charles Darwin, naked, on a unicycle) visits you in a dream, and teaches you different lessons. He teaches you how to make traps, how to use poisonous plants to corrupt populated food sources, and how best to use your shitty mutation. Your mammal asks "why me." God unicycles away, windmilling his arms while making fart noises with his mouth. PHASE 3: Mating season comes along. You must use your new-found knowledge and your shitty mutation to survive predators and challenges from competing mammals, and attempt to woo mates. The day starts with a counter of how many viable mates remain and . PHASE 4: Under cover of nightfall you must disrupt the chances of survival for the rest of your species. Lead predators to sleeping mammals, poison water, piss on everything. Phases 3 and 4 repeat until you reproduce. PHASE 5: A litter is born! You have a brief amount of time to demonstrate as much of the knowledge you learned to your children as possible, before dying of exhaustion from working all night to fuck up the rest of your species. As you go to heaven, God allows you to grant one blessing to your children: either teach them one thing you did not get around to, or allow them to all randomly harbor a new mutation in their next generation. It will also be a shitty mutation. PHASE 6: Repeat phases 3-5 until your entire region is overrun by your shitty kids. Hooray, you big jerk. The map pulls back and the ghost of the first mutant can explore nearby regions. You go into this region blind only to discover... other shitty mutant mammals! Worse yet, their predators have started adapting! A new region will have difficulty grades for how your shitty mutations compare with theirs, how their predators would fare against yours, and how hateful and frequent their traps are. Based on this, you can choose to migrate to this area or to give it a generation and see if the predators thin the herd a little bit. If you choose to migrate, the ghost possesses one of his children and gives him The Knowledge, and you begin to attempt to conquer this new area. ENDGAME: After a number of generations (set before the game begins), a whistle blows. Your Legacy is determined by the amount of land your shitty mammals have overrun. Populate too little and your legacy is some dipshit survivalist with a bunch of cameras eats you, and that's how the world knows your name. In the distance, the fitter ones laugh. If you populate excessively, you get to watch the "ABC" scene from Glengarry Glen Ross, and your shitty mammal plays Alec Baldwin's role as he screams at all the other mammals you conquered.

This is a weird one. I have a lot of fun watching Volador, but I've never known if that means he's better than anyone. I think he's good at conveying that "loud-mouth wide receiver" personality in his mannerisms, which helps him stand out to me. At the same time, I don't know for sure if I'm just projecting that. I still voted for him. I just don't have a lot of confidence in saying why anyone else should.

Destiny thread derails to Titanfall Titanfall thread derails to Dark Souls II now taking bets on what derails imminent Dark Souls II thread. Infamous? MGS? Luftrausers? (i hope it's luftrausers)

Friendly reminder! For anyone that bought it on PC through Origin, Pre-loading/installing is available now. Given that it's 48 Fucking Gigabytes You Monsters, you might want to think about it. Also, someone pointed out to me that Titanfall is kind of an embarrassing achievement: an online competitive FPS where you can choose gender but it has no effect on gameplay and the armor remains completely practical. It's just so anyone can have a character that represents them instead of just dudes. Also also, having advertisements that feature male and female soldiers looking equally fucking badass. Weird that it took so long, but thank fuck someone's going for it.

I am voting for Jun Akiyama just because that match in the post has Super Tiger 2 in it, and Dean Ambrose has worked against Super Tiger 2 an estimated No Times.

If that quest hadn't locked out ten quests before it that would make that quest and the quests that follow it make any kind of sense, it wouldn't be a big deal. It does. The moment I HAVE to look something up in a resource outside of the game itself, that game has failed and I cannot ever deem it "good." The fact that the combat didn't hold up and the inventory system is as clunky as it is disallow me from calling it "okay." Also the whole "outsmarting the ending" thing that a lot of my friends ran into. Ergo, bad. I mean, shit, it's a quick fix! Make the lock to the door like some six digit combination lock, or just say "no, you cant pick this one cuz I said so." Anything but "go ahead and fuck up the story, I don't care." Bringing up the Skyrim thing was just a moment of "fuck, again?"

aw, then I guess we can't hang out. Seriously, Fallout 3 is hideous. Dice rolls for tangible impacts made the fighting feel bad, and it's too easy to sequence-break. A brief version of my story: I decided the plot was dumb and decided to go fuck around and find a bunch of those glowing nuka-cola bottles. Had a decent enough time doing that! Met some weird dudes, went through some creepy caves, cool times. One thing I learned was that it was more likely to find the glowing bottles indoors in old business and such. So I come across this garage in the middle of the wasteland, and start poking around, and I see this high security door! Well, cool, I bet there's more weird shit in there! Suddenly like a dozen quests complete, and the game starts talking again. Turns out I had just wandered into 1/3rd later in the story, where I'm supposed to go into this holodeck to save people I don't give a shit about for a story quest I was actively avoiding. The game was perfectly content to just let me bypass their story! And if I wasn't aggressively using the save system like it seems to assume I was, I would just be locked out of knowing what the hell was happening in the story unless I started over. There is no metric that can forgive a flaw like that. That is Bad Design. Oh, the same thing happened to me in Skyrim too! Wanted to make some dwarven armor, found a big dwarven ruin, ended up with an Elder Scroll, and then an hour later- "You must venture to whatever the hell and retrieve the Elder Scroll!" ... talk again- "WELL DONE, YOU HAVE THE SCROLL." Bethesda makes shitty games.

why i dont post on the puro board despite watching new japan regularly yall crazy EDIT: seriously what is with the lance archer hate, he's one of my favorite dudes to watch in NJ and has been almost since he got there