Just Dave

I’m lazy as shit, so I always just quote a whole post. Starks & Swerve would be the matchup I’d be building to as the AEW world title match for next summer. Hand Ricky Starks a blank check if that’s what it takes to keep him around. Those are the two most charismatic guys in the company not named Moxley, and could lead the way moving forward.

Yeah, you gotta believe TK could've kept her if he'd really wanted to. She's fantastic and I wish her luck.

I wish I'd seen that before committing to a new handle for six months lol...

I, Dave Bautista, am glad you enjoyed it. And I, Dave Bautista, have no idea what my Little Friend is referring to. You aren't ignored. I, Dave Bautista, would never...

Strong assed rating for Collision, given the banger of a game that Notre Dame/Ohio St was. I, Dave Bautista, approve.

I know, right? The caffeine would at the bare minimum give me the shakes…

Is it that easy?

Boy, that’s sure not what he thought he was gonna be doing when he signed. Presumably.

Excellent question. My, Dave Bautista’s, relationship is that that guy rules.

Nice. That's a quality pull...

@L_W_P if you will permit me, Dave Bautista, one more, I promise to keep it short and impactful, like my role in the Knives Out sequel. Ricky Starks. Now I, Dave Bautista, know that Ricky was never officially under WWE contract, but my good friend Triple H told me, Dave Bautista, that they had an offer for Starks to come work in nXt just before the pandemic hit. Unfortunately, due to Covid related cost cutting, they were unable to follow through on their offer. Can you even imagine? I, Dave Bautista, know that I, Dave Bautista, would’ve moved whatever mountains necessary to get such a can’t miss, obviously apparent future star like goddamned Stroke Daddy Starks on my roster, but I, Dave Bautista, also had the good sense to accept a seemingly minor part in a Marvel franchise. But I, Dave Bautista, digress. Can you, not Dave Bautista, even fathom the kind of fat headed idiocy it requires to not see the obvious, unavoidable star quality Starks possesses? I, Dave Bautista, mean, the kind of abject stupidity it takes to think that a charisma tsunami like Starks isn’t someone you build your entire company around is almost breathtaking. Confounding. Defies all logic. It takes a very special brand of mouth-breathing dipshit to write Starks off as just another guy, and I, Dave Bautista, would never be accused of that. I, Dave Bautista, watch Starks’ promos on guys like my good friend Chris Jericho, MJF, Hobbs, and others, and I, Dave Bautista, ask myself, Dave Bautista; “Dave Bautista, how could anyone who considers themselves knowledgeable about sports entertainment not believe that Richard ‘Stroke Daddy’ Starks is maybe the best combination of work, promo, look, and undefinable charisma in the wrestling business today?” Then I, Dave Bautista, take a few deep breaths, mentally count my GOTG3 money, and remind myself; “Hey, Dave Bautista, you handsome son of a bitch, some people like things that suck. There’s nothing you, Dave Bautista, can do about that.” Anyways, I, Dave Bautista have to run. Chris Pratt is gonna come over and we’re gonna grill kebab and make paper maché origami. This was fun. I, Dave Bautista, am glad my friend Phil told me about this place. He said to say hello. Actually, he said “holá.” He said you all would understand that. Animal out.

Hey. Great question. Everyone’s list will probably vary, as the definition of “miss” will be slightly different for everyone, but here is mine; 1. Zack Ryder. Only Vince McMahon would punish someone for getting over on their own. What the wwe office did to Zack was the wrestling equivalent of a Coca Cola executive finding out they’d sold more orange soda than Coke Classic one quarter and then taking a big creamy shit in the vat of orange soda so that no one could buy any more. And I would know. After all, I am Dave Bautista. 2. Keith Lee. Pretty self explanatory. What even is a fucking Bearcat? I’m seriously asking. I, Dave Bautista, didn’t finish high school, so my knowledge of fauna isn’t as extensive as some others might be. 3. Rusev. This should’ve been as easy as casting me, Dave Bautista, in a superhero ensemble comedy franchise. Miro is big, terrifying, and sneaky funny. He’s got a great look and has everything wwe is allegedly looking for in a top star. Not seeing his star potential is like not thinking Guardians of the Galaxy was going to be a huge hit. 4. Dean Ambrose. As much as he accomplished in wwe, he barely scratched the surface of what he could’ve done. Much like my, Dave Bautista’s, 2020 feature ISpy , a combination of internal and external factors held down Dean’s box office capabilities. I look at what he’s doing now and it makes even I, Dave Bautista, want to dust off the blue ring gear and give Tony Khan a call. I heard he lurks here sometimes. Call me, Tony. Christian Cage has my number. Honorable mention: Dana Brooke. I, Dave Bautista, am a big fan of hers.

Add me to the “Starks should’ve gone over” crowd. I do think TK is headed somewhere with this, though.

Chili w/o beans is a necessity for chili dogs. And now I’m officially hungry. Fuck y’all.

@Octopus appreciate the love, homie. One of the worst injuries I ever got was from doing the "Flair Flop" spot over the side corner of our couch. I hit the flip perfect, like Flair did into the turnbuckles, landed on my feet on the other side, like Flair did on the apron, but then my boy Marcus clotheslined the SHIT out of me. I called the spot, so I wasn't mad, but I couldn't chew right for like a week. Injuring yourself doing shit you saw on tv was a right of passage. I paid that motherfucker Marcus back, though. I hit him with a gnarly Cactus Jack elbow from the side of my porch. He was on the ground. Receipt sent.

I remember where I was going with the promo thing. I think that's why I like guys like Ricky Starks, Eddie Kingston and Jon Moxley so much. Miro too. The ability to make me believe in spite of my knowledge that wrestling is a work. I think about that Big E sound byte a lot; "You want your five star matches? You want your thirty minute classics? Not me..." I think that's why I don't have much use for that nXt era so many folks seem to be so fond of, or the Young Bucks sprinting from spot to spot with no regard for their opponent's credibility. Kickouts at 2 and 99/100's do not a great match make. In my opinion, anyway. I like weird shit, too. Arcade Anarchy. Stadium Stampedes. Parking Lot fights. Multi-man gang fights. Money in the Bank matches that run through office buildings. (Dana Brooke is fantastic in that. Seriously. Go watch. I don’t even care if I get more dm’s from my Little Friend telling me to touch myself thinking about her. She has a knack for physical comedy that I hope she gets the chance to explore. Impact, maybe?)I think that's why Sting's Squadron vs. Dangerous Alliance in WarGames might be my favorite match of all time. Lots of interweaving storylines coming to a head. It always bothered me that Steve Austin would never accept help. From the time I was 11, I've believed that the only thing more fun than kicking ass was kicking ass with your friends. That 10 man tag from Smackdown with The Rock, Mick Foley, and Too Cool & Rikishi vs. DX and the Radicals. That's peak storytelling to me. People with shit to settle settling shit. I'm sure I'll have more to say later.

Well, I want Skyline now, so thanks for that…

I wrote this post once but my shitass laptop timed out because it sucks. Fuck this laptop. Anyway, it occurs to me that I’ve done a real shitty job talking about why I like the things I like and don’t like the things that suck… I mean, the things I don’t. Sean Waltman was my first favorite wrestler. His ability to credibly work as a threat to bigger opponents without compromising the suspension of disbelief of the match or the credibility of his opponents is probably why I’m so hard on guys today who don’t know how to do that. I also think I value promo ability over in-ring work so much because as a kid I got USWA and Smoky Mountain on our local cable access station. I was in awe of guys like Tony Anthony, Buddy Landell, Dutch Mantell, Robert Fuller, and of course, Arn Anderson. Guys who could have me on the edge of my seat with their brilliant interviews. Landell, in particular, was must see tv for me. He was the redneck with an edge that every kid my age from that part of the world wanted to be. He was like if the Georgia Satellites’ music was a person. Michael Hayes, Dusty Rhodes, and Ron Simmons were other guys I loved, but it almost felt like too much of a stretch to aspire to that level. So, tell me; what were you exposed to that formed what you like and don’t like in the wrestling business? Not a favorite match, per se, but shit you saw and heard on your screen? I’d love to hear from y’all…

Happy to help.

That's an outstanding answer.

I haven't said shit in like a week. My kid's here, so I haven't even checked in for a couple days. I am truly sorry for having apparently unleashed this evil upon the world, but there's only so much blame I'm willing to take.

Yes. Yes I am secretly A List actor and all around fantastic dude Dave Bautista. I have nothing better to do during the SAG AFTRA strike than engage with you. And making one comment in jest means I'm fixating. Also, because I know it's the question on everyone's mind; it's huge. Rent. Free. Anywho, I saw somewhere above someone said that Benjamin and Ziggler wouldn't "move the needle." And that person was absolutely right. What they would do is get the people who are- or will eventually- move the needle ready. Imagine what Sammy Guevara could learn from Shelton Benjamin. TAFKA Dolph Ziggler could make everyone from Jack Perry to Hobbs look like stars. Then there's the dream matchups you could have with Mustafa Ali on the roster. He and Buddy Matthews being granted the freedom AEW's in ring style provides would be absolutely bonkers. I'd love to see him play underdog for Hobbs and Miro. Jay White is at the top of that list, too. Shit, there's 50 guys on the AEW payroll I think he could have a 20 minute banger with. Komander, PAC, Ricky Starks and/or Big Bill, et al. And this is coming from someone who sees no value in good matches for the sake of good matches. Ali makes me give a shit through his selling and his distinct babyface fire and psychology. I think he's gonna go down as a top 5 on WWE's "how the fuck did we miss on THIS guy" list. Prodigious worker. More than adequate babyface promo. Great look. Fantastic human being. Not only would I hire him, I'd put gold on him the first chance I got. Also, I'd hire Dana Brooke. For reasons that don't concern anyone but me. Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

Dolph was fantastic in that Survivor Series match where Sting debuted. I can't remember the year. It also makes no sense that it wasn't Dean Ambrose in that spot, given what was generally happening in WWE, but Dolph was fantastic.

Yeah, didn’t Top Dolla have some pretty disparaging things to say about the Acclaimed? He really screwed himself if he wants to keep wrestling…

I thought that too. Lots of POC in this round. Not the best of looks…