Greggulator

I really liked the crazy tag match last night. A lot of fun flying. I missed a decent amount of the show and need to play catchup. Cena in the sheep mask was so friggin' boss, and his promo afterwards was so great. That end segment was so great. The whole YES! Movement has been built around denying the audience of Bryan getting his big moments since the start. When he turned on Bray, he got one of the greatest pops of the decade -- all because the crowd went about two weeks without being able to do the chant. He got a great moment with the OCCUPY RAW because HHH kept on denying him the opportunity at a WrestleMania match. And he got a crazy reaction last night for getting some back on HHH after sitting out due to his injury for a few weeks and until the very end of the show. Now the big payoff is for the title. Daniel's been denied it since SummerSlam. No matter how they got there, they got there. Awesome ride.

You can't get much more ghoulish than Eddie Guerrero-JBL Judgement Day 2004. Just about the only wrestling match I can't watch without FFWDing. Ohhhh yeah. I gotta rewatch that. I also have to watch the ladder match with the custody of a child in jeopardy. That's so terrific and trashy.

How much of it is intolerable Russo stuff and how much is just WTF kinda stuff?

Hey! I want to watch some PPV matches on the network. I'm not looking for traditionally good matches. I'm looking for more weirdo stuff. I just watched Kurt Angle vs. Shane McMahon and Cena vs. Orton at Breaking Point, for example. Anything else I should watch along those lines? Anything that's nutty and ghoulish or with weird match structures and the like?

The ending plays to the Warriors game last night were absolutely awful in-bounds plays and handoffs. They did nothing to get Curry the ball. Is there any doubt in anyone's mind that a remotely competent coach would have gotten Curry a good look? They ran one nice play for him on a stagger screen that got him a shot in the corner. This was against the Knicks, a team that waved that is absolutely miserable at communicating on defense, mind you. Ridiculous.

JOHN CENA VS. RANDY ORTON, I QUIT, BREAKING POINT 2009 -- I've never seen this match but know the basics of how it's such a unique/strange match for the WWE. I don't remember the set-up to this at all. Is this when Orton punted Cena's dad in the head? Either way, these two hate each other and had the defining rivalry of their era, despite the flaws within that rivalry. Cena starts this on absolute fire and looks a lot more "real wrestler" than he usually does. He actually looks really good. Orton transitions after a frantic two minutes and sends Cena to the floor (Centa takes a nasty floor bump) here Orton hits Cena with a monitor. Man, this is great and hate filled already. Orton reverts into stalker/predator mode. I like current era Orton more (entitled douche) more than evil Randy but I'm a weirdo. But he's really great like this. They go to a RKO to the chair spot like they apparently did on the last Raw before the PPV. Cena briefly gains control, goes for an AA but Orton counters and snaps Cena's neck across the rope, targeting that area. Orton gets for the punt. But Cena goes for the STF but Orton gets to the floor and whips Cena into the steps. I love this so far. Cena's energy keeps getting countered by Orton's calculated manners, going for constant concussion blows. Orton than stomps on Cena's head as Cena is laid out on the steps. Cena's out cold and barely eeks out a "no" when asked if he'll quit. Cena gets stomped again and again says no in this really defeated manner. Orton now goes under the ring and slowly breaks out the handcuffs and key that this match is built around. But so far in the first part of the match -- this is nasty and crazy and brutal. Orton now handcuffs Cena to the top rope and has the key dangling from his neck. Cena more energetically says no despite him being trapped. Orton smashes the mic across Cena's face (and it sounds sickening) and then unlocks the handcuff. Now he chains Cena's handcuffed together and puts him on the ring post and begins to torture the helpless Cena. Cena looks like Christ being crucified while Orton is one of Pontius Pilate's minions taunting the messiah. Orton wakes Cena up with water "YOU'RE NOT PASSING OUT" and Cena spits the water in Orton's face when asked. Oh my god, that is so friggin' awesome. Now Orton gets a cane and sadistically lords over Cena before absolutely brutally beating Cena with it. Cena screams like he's being tortured. Cena contemplates quitting but firmly says no. Cena kicks Orton and gets off the ring post but is still handcuffed but has so many insane welts across his flesh. It's like his personal crown of thorns. Cena goes for Orton who devastates Cena with a chair. Now Orton handcuffs Cena and is going for something else with the cuffs. I friggin LOVE he has the key -- it's a great taunt and lets the narrative advance. Cena's now cuffed to the corner with a floor and Orton grabs the chair again. Orton destroys Cena with a chair and Cena screams like he's watching his child get killed. He defiantly says no. Cena dodges what could be the death blow and backdrops Orton before miraculously grabs the key, trembling in pain when he unlocks himself. He now cuffs himself to Orton who is doing such a good coward act. Cena fires back on fire and keeps throwing Orton into the table and it looks so awesome because Orton's frantically selling it. Cena's adrenaline finally stops and he now gets into calculating mode. Cena's going for the AA but Orton counters to an RKO. Both are cuffed to each other, mind you, that looks like it can easily break a shoulder. Great camera shot of Orton finding the key and slithering over, having to drag the key. Orton's selling reaching the key like a supervillain dangling from a tree branch over a cliff. But Cena gets on the STFwith the handcuff strangling him as Orton reaches for the key. Orton can't reach and quits -- a total bully quitting the first time he's in trouble. Oh my god, that match rules. It's so brutal and vicious and insane. Kudos to those guys for coming up with an entirely new match that's unlike anything I can remember seeing. This is a fantastic Cena comeback, too -- the STF looked completely insane and he took one of the most mansized beatings ever. Not sure I like Cena being able to talk on the mic afterwards but whatever. This is an absolutely terrific I Quit match. Flair/Funk is still the apex of the genre (and always will be) but this is the best WWE I Quit match I can remember seeing. Dear lord. A+. EDIT: I"m reading other reviews of this match and, uhm, only a few people really see it the way I did, it seems? A lot of it seems like dummies who were OMGWTF CENA WON!!! as opposed to actually looking at the match itself and ignoring the booking. That's a huge pet peeve of mine when people review wrestling. Who cares if the guy you like or hate won? A great performance is a great performance whether you like jean shorts or not.

Is Shane McMahon the best awful wrestler of all-time? He doesn't perform like he's not a wrestler trying to wrestle. He acts like he can wrestle and dudes like Kurt Angle have to act like his submission holds are brutal and he's a pudgy, out-of-shape non-athlete. lBut at the same time, his punches aren't bad (but his dumb dance after punches is woeful) and he's willing to absolutely take any level of punishment whatsoever and/or risk permanent injury. Like would Shane be the greatest CZW wrestler of them all?

SHANE MCMAHON VS. KURT ANGLE, KING OF THE RING 2001 -- I don't remember if I saw this or not but remember hearing about how crazy it was. I've always been a bit of a Shane mark. The dude's not afraid to do anything and I appreciate some rich kid's attempt to feel like a valid person by taking nutty, semi-protected bumps. Shane's like the progeny of an investment banker who becomes a crustpunk hobo begging for change with the help of a vegan dog. I haven't seen an Angle match in... geez, a decade? I've seen absolutely zero TNA. I was a huge Kurt fan back in the day -- one of the all-time most entertaining guys in all aspects of wrestling. This has some good "WTF?" ghoul spots -- Shane doing a shooting star press and Kurt tossing him through glass twice, each time nearly breaking Shane's spine in a failed attempt right before. I mean, the non-glass breaking shots are absolutely f'd up. The amount of misplaced cuts on their flesh is crazy because the glass they used looked like lightbulb glass. It's just disturbing seeing this -- they're cut EVERYWHERE. The Angle Slam off the top rope is completely insane, too. But the match is pretty ridiculous with casting Shane as Kurt's equal in a bunch of ways. It starts with Angle just demolishing Shane with mat wrestling and then some clubbing forearms. But it morphs into Shane actually hitting moves on Kurt, like a Sharpshooter and almost making him tap with an Ankle Lock. That part's weak. It works much better when Shane can stick Kurt with a lucky punch (I like his punches) and then a crazy dive or something with a kendo stick or garbage can. I do think it was Kurt's third match of the night. They could have pushed that a bit to start the match explain why Shane was holding his own as an actual wrestler. But that part of the match was weak. But in terms of just violent trash, this was great. A fun car wreck. If it was laid out a bit differently it would have been a great story but instead it was a lot of really repulsive spots that any ghoul like me would love but without much in the way of getting there. But definitely worth watching.

REAL AMERICANS vs. BROTHERHOOD, Main Event, 3/18 - Oh man is this fun. This is just nothing fancy tag team wrestling. I love the Brotherhood's aerial doubleteam where Goldy does the apron flip while Cody does his dive to the floor. Cesaro has a nutty strength spot catching Dustin into a slam of sorts. Cesaro eats the frankesteiner from the ropes like a champ. Swagger has a hilarious evil laugh when Goldy starts working for the hot tag. Cody has some AWESOME apron work before Cesaro crushes him with a boot. The end sequence is fantastic. Swagger reverses a Disaster Kick into an insane looking Patriot Lock. Cody is working for the ropes and Cesaro MOVES THE ROPES BACK until Dustin catches him from the side, resulting in a Cross Rhodes onto Swagger. This was a really great hidden Main Event gem.

BO DALLAS vs. ADRIAN NEVILLE from this week's NXT was great. It wasn't as good as Zayn/Cesaro from Arrival and probably not as good as Emma vs. Paige but this was fantastic. This had such a cool story, with both guys knowing each other so well, with a lot of good counters and fake-outs. Bo is terrific as a conniving jerk who knows where he is at all times and how to use that to his advantage. He holds ropes for a two-count, makes the ref back off on a count-out in order to hit a nasty lariat, etc. Neville's an absolute athletic freak in this and knows how Bo operates. Neville wins the match by hitting a move he never did before -- an inward 450 from the top that I think he ganked from Aerostar. Really good, fun match. Bo's outstanding in his character and really knows how to work it. Neville doesn't have those chops but is so overwhelmingly athletic and graceful.

MOJO vs. CJ PARKER is a match. Neither guy has too much interesting offense. CJ's really good as a smug heel and Mojo's good at selling. I also like his explosiveness doing his Stinger Splashes out of nowhere. His finisher is still dumb. I have no idea why you guys are hating so much. He's a green wrestler who is getting better and has a lot of energy and charisma. If this was WCW Saturday Night, he'd have the first opening match or would be in a tax match opposite the Cole Twins or what have you. He's getting better. I think he needs to get in the ring against someone a lot more talented (even someone like Corey Graves) to get him to work something beyond "you come in and run around, get beat up for a while, and then win energetically." I love the little NXT side things they do like this Sami Zayn interview about him getting his bell rung next week. It just really adds to the story on a week-to-week basis. It took about 30 seconds of time and serves as a refresher about what a jerk move Corey Graves pulled on him and why they now have an issue. XAVIER WOODS vs. TYLER BREEZE. Man, I hate Xavier Woods. I wish they'd give him his own theme music instead of giving him the awful Tons Of Funk thing. I mean, I think Xavier Woods is just going to be what he is -- babyface jobber, smart guy, great for appearances, etc. -- no matter what. But at least give him something to run with. LIke my man Tyler Breeze. I hope they make Tyler a legit threat to win the title at some point. I liked his stuff against Neville earlier in the show and he'd be a really fun arrogant champion. Alex Riley talking about charisma is a low point of professional wrestling in 2014. I really liked X's head scissor thing. Breeze's turnbuckle bulldog thing was a really cool move. X's running knee strike looked NASTY. The struggle in the corner was eh -- Xavier didn't really look or sound to great fighting for position. Breeze steals a win with the Beauty Shot. This was an okay match in terms of how it was structured. The moves all looked from good-to-great. But they just need to fill the gaps between moves better than they did for this to make it really stand out. It was perfectly acceptable -- they just need to put in some bells-and-whistles and it would be really good. COREY GRAVES comes out and he's all of a sudden become someone I really like a lot. He is such a great jerk heel. And a HEEL. He gives no one anything to root for, which is what a heel should do. It's way better than what he was doing. He's taking on YOSHI TATSU. This is a rematch from Graves using Yoshi to lure out Sami Zayn. Man, this match was pretty good. I liked Yoshi's fired up offense against Corey's cheapshot nastiness going into some simple but nasty knee work. Corey has to figure out a way to make himself feel bigger. A lot of NXT dudes have that -- he was yelling at the ref about something but needs to SCREAM it. The divas do a great job with that, as does Sami and Tyler Breeze. He doesn't have to be Bray Wyatt screaming "I WELCOME THIS WAR!" for 20,000 people to hear at once but he needs to really up the volume of his presence. He looks a TON better than he did last year, though. CHARLOTTE w/ Sasha Banks (and picture of Summer) has a GREAT heel entrance. She looks like a total smarmy pain-in-the ass. Man, can we go back in time and convince Bret to just not appear. Bret was at one point THE COOLEST and no he looks so lame. It's really sad. It just goes to show you what a lifetime in this industry can do to you, especially when you have the insane life Bret Hart had. I do like a good family feud, though. Man, Charlotte looked REALLY great snapping out of a body lock. Natalia in NXT has been so good. She was utterly useless last year but looks like a million bucks against the NXT girls. Renee saying "DANG" after Natalya's cool back walk thing was hilarious AND appropriate. We also need to talk about Sasha as a second. "BREAK HER LEG! BREAK HER LEG GIRL!" I can't believe Sasha hasn't gotten a call-up yet. I love Charlotte working the leg for a figure four. I really liked this as a "sharpshooter vs. figure four" thing quite a bit. I loved Charlotte looking on acting all hurt while Natalya hooked the Sharpshooter on Natalya. Man, Bret looked pilled out of his mind at the end, though. BO DALLAS vs. ADRIAN NEVILLE makes me realize that these guys have a LOT of wet stuff in their hair. Neville is a freak of an athlete. I loved the dive to the floor after Bo thought he escaped the Red Arrow. I loved Bo taking out Neville's feet when he was about to do a springboard. Bo telling the ref to back out in order to sucker job Neville with a lariat on the floor was great. Bo's facial expressions getting frustrated are so good. He really, really, really gets that part of it. Like frighteningly so. I absolutely love watching Bo work and it's not because he's that great in what we think of when we think of really good wrestlers. But he looks like such a weenie when acting like a face, so angry when he's frustrated and does the sneaky "use all parts of the ring" perfectly. Bo trying to hold the rope for a three count was a perfect example of that. This match was awesome. Is it the best NXT match not involving Sami Zayn, Cesaro or Regal? Big E. vs. Rollins was gold but had a giant shmozz. I loved how these guys know each other so well and it took a new move to win for Neville. Does my man Aerostar use that inward 450 pike Neville used to win? Insane move. I really dug this match a ton.

We saw Grand Budapest Hotel today. If you like Wes Anderson movies, you'll like this. It has his incredible eye for detail and signature touches and his very silly (in a good way) style of dialogue. I liked it better than Dajeering Limited (which I thought was okay) and Life Aquatic (I thought that sucked) but not as much as his best movies. I'll go Rushmore, The Royal Tennenbaums, Moonrise Kingdom, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Bottle Rocket, GBH, Darjeering and Life Aquatic in that order. If you don't like Wes Anderson, then you won't like this at all. I also just saw American Hustle. That was a really fun con movie. I didn't think it was classic or anything -- it relied too much on hair and outdated fashion gags -- but it was a fun time and the kind of thing I'll watch on TV if it's on.

You know great The Shield are? They're making me give a crap about the New Age Outlaws in 2014, when they were my least favorite thing in the world (even above Dave Matthews Band) in 1998.

BROCK/CENA, EXTREME RULES: This match is really wild and not like anything else in recent WWE history in terms of style. Brock just tortures Cena the entire match -- him licking blood, chaining Cena's feet, tossing refs left and right, kimura's on the ring steps, etc. Brock's over-the-top-rope knee thing was a true "WTF is this dude doing?" Cena's one move before the end -- the kimura on the steps -- was a crazy strength spot. I also loved the callback. I love the old adage where when you introduce a gun into a play/movie/etc., you always have to use the gun. I love they did that with the chain -- Cena wanted to use it earlier, only for Brock to torment Cena by chaining his legs together, kicking it away with a "No no" taunt, etc. But then after the crazy floor spot, Cena covertly finds the chain and knocks Brock out cold with it, leading to the AA on the ring steps. They introduced the chain and it paid off later on. I take it everyone was divided on the end in that match? I totally get that. I'm not going to complain about booking or what have you -- I have zero recollection of what this led into for Cena and Brock -- but they do have Cena always cast as a comeback kid. I genuinely like that, but I would have liked it if he was cast as a bit more of Lesnar's equal to start the match before Lesnar overpowered him. That would have made Lesnar's dominance even more prominent, and it would have made Cena's miracle end even better. Instead, the end had a David vs. Goliath vibe -- Cena hit his slingshot and the giant fell. I get that, but Cena shouldn't be David. But still, really chaotic and nuts match.

Elimination Chamber's up in case you were wondering. Watching Shield vs. Wyatts again. The pre-match package for this is so great and so badass. I'm going to get around to watching a ton of stuff I haven't seen ever/in years but man I just want to see the early reaction for this match again. What other matches had this sort of reaction before the match even began? And what one happened on a non-major PPV? And what one happened without the presence of a Hall Of Fame type guy? Six dudes, none on the roster longer than two years, tearing the roof down and then some. Something I missed in this match -- Bray screaming at Ambrose in the early match stand-off, playing off him being a loose cannon. Then the whole match, Dean just wants to fight Bray. Insanely great touch. As long as Sabu and Sandman put each other through tables or hitting each other with canes and doing stuff like that, I'm fine with it.

Two ones close to my heart: 1) Phillies vs. Mets, Aug. 30, 2007: This game is one of the handful of favorite baseball games ever played. This was the fourth game in an awesome series against the Mets, who looked like world-beaters.The Phillies went up 5-0 and 8-5 before trailing 10-8 in just a crazy game,. Down one headed into the bottom of the 9th, the Phils mount a last-inning comeback -- something that became their trademark over their great run. Even better, the win came off of former Phils closer Billy Wagner, who said some disparaging remarks about the city when he left for New York. The Phils made a slip a few games after this to go down 7 with 17 to go. But we all know what happened next. I don't think, though, any Phillies fans really wrote the season off despite being down that much, especially not when they got some momentum going. I don't have time to look for the article but I read something about the importance of this game for the franchise. It was a sold-out Monday day game -- something that wasn't too common until the run began, when they sold out an insane amount of games in a row. Their TV ratings in 2007 were still very "eh" but the replay of this game that night set a record for most watched regular season Phillies game or something along those lines. They steadily increased after that until the Phils were getting insane market shares for every single game. It also mirrored the development of Philly in so many ways. I first came to school here in 1995. The place was really crummy in retrospect -- downtown was a dustbowl, save for a few areas, and there wasn't a lot going on. I eventually settled here for good in '04, and things were just starting to percolate.. Center City was getting a buzz for good new restaurants; Northern Liberties and Fishtown and Bella Vista and South Philly were starting to become gentrified. By the end of the run, when the mighty Ryan Howard ruptured his tendon in the final out against the Cardinals, the city was completely transformed. Philly always had a lot of local pride but now the rest of the country saw what we did. Those years were exciting and vital -- there were new restaurants popping up weekly, new concert spaces (all locally owned and booked) coming up, an emerging comedy scene, new housing, etc. This, in my heart, started it all. 2) La Salle vs. Butler, 2013: My beloved alma mater started to come alive in 2011-12, doing well enough to make the NIT. Things were buzzing the season when they pulled out a few last-second wins against Northeastern and Villanova. But the NCAA resume was still a bit lacking. Then came in the Butler Bulldogs, ranked in the Top 10 in the country and coming off an epic last-second win against Gonzaga just a few days earlier. This was just a great college basketball game. La Salle went down one with just a few seconds to go after Butler's big man -- who tore us up all night -- made a shot. But then Ramon Galloway, the team's senior guard, got the ball and took matters into his own hand. Butler's Roosevelt Jones (who made the insane last-second shot during the Gonzaga game) made a half-court heave the was just off. The student section stormed the court. I was behind the Butler bench for this and cried after they won -- I was far from alone. This was one of the best live sports experiences of my life. The Explorers knocked off VCU the next game and ended up as one of the "First Four" games. They won three, the last culminating in the "Southwest Philly Floater" buzzer beater against Ole Miss, and made the Sweet 16.

The Raptors might be an 8 seed in the West. They're at the Phoenix level. Kyle Lowry is one of the best players in the East and they have a bunch of really capable guys like DeRozan. They can get hot shooting wise and steal a game or two but that's about it. Chicago will go down swinging. The old gang with the Nets might make a series interesting, too. But the Pacers and Heat are just so much better. I honestly think both teams got bored playing a non-stop string of teams that suck. The West is going to be completely insane. Memphis as an 7 or 8 seed? That's just a nuts team to play in the first round. A Portland team with all of those shooters? Yikes. Dallas with Dirk and Monta?

Jax is the worst. Golden State has one of the best starting fives in basketball and could get swept out unless Curry and/or Klay go nuts. They make so many dumb mistakes and pay no attention to detail whatsoever. Can you imagine that roster in the hands of Pop or Carlisle or Doc Rivers? The Clips were the same way under Del Negro. Now they have a real coach and are a legit championship contender. Last night's game was a game between a bunch of men playing basketball. Great game.

Shaka's wife is also a big star at VCU herself. They're the First Family of Richmond. (Sorry, Dean and everyone else on here from Richmond.)

This is super fun. Man, Seth Rollins has become the next big thing. Dude has the best babyface routine, non-Daniel Bryan division. I also love that he has the Cena spot of closing the show with the mic spot. The Sheild friggin' rule as faces.

Here's a thing about the Big E. "I Want Five" thing -- it makes sense on NXT because he was a dominant champion and so much bigger than the rest of the roster. But on the main roster, he's big but anything like Big Show or Mark Henry or Cesaro or Cena or Luke Harper or about 10,000 other guys. On top of it, who do you have him do the five to? There's only so many times he can wrestle 3MB or Justin Gabriel or what have you. You really want him to do the five count spot to someone like Dolph or ADR or Kofi or the other really valuable mid-card acts -- dudes who have a lot of respectability and are great at getting other guys over, yes, but you don't want them squashed dead forever. Dude on NXT wasn't as good a promo as everyone thinks, either. He's great on Twitter and the like but hasn't translated that to actual on-screen wrestling.

Can somebody tell me if these spoilers are douchey or not?

I legitimately thought that Spurs team was looking like one of the 15 or so best teams of all time the way they were playing. Just slicing teams up. I swear, there were entire quarters where no one on the team dribbled since their passing was so great.

Yeah, that Spurs team won over 20 straight into the playoffs before losing to OKC in the finals. I have absolutely no idea how that team didn't run away with the title the way they played down the stretch. They were the platonic ideal of basketball for about three straight months. Every player did everything possible to make the game easier for everyone else on their team.

Kurt Vile friggin' rules. So do War On Drugs. They've all been in each others bands 100,000,000 times. The Philly and Philly-type area has so many awesome bands these days, with those two and The Menzingers and Pissed Jeans. Do you guys know about Kurt Vile's brother, Paul? He goes by the name JelloMan and goes around to concert tours in this ramshackle van selling Jello shots. He's one of the best oddballs out there. My friend described him as a "real life Hold Steady song." Speaking of that, the reason why I came here, THE NEW HOLD STEADY ALBUM IS SOOOOOOO GREAT AND YOU PROBABLY KNEW THAT ALREADY!