DEAN

OH NO! Takeshita is going to be a fat boy when he goes back to Japan.

Nikita Lyons takes the craziest bump to the floor that I've seen in a while. Lyons is bumping like a psycho in this. I am suddenly in love. Nikita can work and is making Lash Legend look like 400 bucks. That was one of the best WOW matches ever. Too bad about Xyon Whatshisname couldn't go tonight. I dig him. Von Wagner and Tony Italian Guy are perfectly fine. Ah, his name is Tony D'Angelo. He is still perfectly fine. Von Wagner hits a truly shitty Spinebuster. They show a replay of it! Tony hits things much cleaner. FUCKERY! Wagner is the new Bryan Adams. Oh my God, his finisher boot missed completely but you don't really notice until they show a replay. Instant replay was not that match's friend. What are Kacey and Kaden called now? Man, WWE is annoying. This match was good, whatever everybody is called this week. It's Solo Sikoa against Trick Williams! Williams works on Sikoa's shoulder. It's a simple but effective story. Sikoa will do well in New Japan if things don't work out here. Williams is good. I don't think I've seen him before. I could see this match on a New Japan Strong undercard. Nice Superfly Splash by Sikoa. The Viking Raiders takes on Malik Blade and Edris Enofe. Hey! I remember when they were War Machine. The little guys bounce off the bulky guys, Enofe takes an assbeating like a CHAMP. That was a good destroying of two guys. The Creed Brothers vs the Viking Raiders will be good. It''s Roxanne Perez! I assume she goes up against Gigi Dolin. Oh, they are going straight to Mandy Rose. Perez is so good. Mandy Rose is really good. Roxanne is a great tiny babyface. Mandy is a great hateful champion. This match is soo good. Mandy is Jon Moxley. Roxanne is Wheeler Yuta- but the third match. And Roxanne isn't coated in her own blood. Mandy finally knocks her out with a knee, That was great. Wendy Choo comes out and aids Roxanne with 1960's Batman net. ROXANNE PEREZ!

I explained it to her. She said, "Hm."

Hey! Dulce Tormenta! So Thunder Rosa is getting all her gals some work. Red Velvet gives her a little offense and then kicks her in the head. I could see her getting over as a Jade Cargill associate- as they are faces WITH ATTITUDES! that just haven't completely turned yet. They should be a stable of babyface women who aren't putting up with any shit from the idiot men in their lives- like Crgill is being with Mark Sterling. I would back that one hundred percent. Lee Moriarty is fun in with Serpentico. Serpentico is awesome being his own Luther. Moriarty does that cool ass suplex. He wins with a DDT variation that might have been a fucked up brainbuster attempt. Allright! Raychell Rose! She's from Texas but isn't a member of the Thunder Rosa squad. The Bunny is here to carry the babyfaces. Raychell can also carry folks. The Bunny fills up the match by beating the crap out of Anna J. Bunny is the Dennis Condrey of the AEW Women's division. Anna J and Skye Blue are kind of the Dynamic Dudes of the AEW women's division. They need skateboards. Raychell Rose is the Randy Rose but better of the AEW Women's division. That was a good Dark match. PENTA OSCURA! He will tell a story. QT Marshall is all about telling a story too, so this will be very story based. THE STORY! This IS a family show! Get that guy out of here! Penta is great because he gets the crowd into it and QT also gets the crowd into it. This is fun. QT is a neato heel. QT is the Buddy Parker of AEW. Penta lets QT get in all kinds of offense, and the Factory CHEATS! They have nearfalls and they have back and forth. Penta is so awesome. He knows how to keep a crowd engaged in a match. THE STORY is that the Factory will cheat and Penta has to fight against it. The finish is soooo fun. QT does a moonsault to a standing for a while Penta who kicks him in the chest to rip his arm out of the socket! This would have been so fun to be at live. Charlette Renegade! Will she and her sister BATTENize Abadon? The Renegade Twins are definitely Thunder Rosa's crew but they don't have enough time to to pull any fuckery. IT's a ten man! Top Flight versus Private Party is the feud for me to look forward to. Angelico is around! Him versus Zack Sabre Jr on Rampage to set up ZSJ's PPV match would be a fun offering. BOOK IT, TONY! They quickly go Private Party vs Top Flight and then the PATRIARCHS tag in and Jeff and Matt are fun. The Blade throws great punches. Angelico does some fuckt up matwork on Jeff Hardy and this match is good. Jeff Hardy is the Jeff Hardy of this match and Isiah Cassidy is the Bobby Eaton of the match. Isiah tries a Swanton and misses like Eaton on 3/4 of his Alabama Jams. Frankie Kazarian is all peppy in this hitting 54 legdrops! Dante Martin hits a fucking BEAUTIFULLY out of control tope. Frankie Kazarian is the secret superstar of this match. Fun batch of nearfalls. Jeff totally fucking crushes Marq Quinn! That match was waaaaaay fun. AEW RULES THE MOTHERFUCKING WORLD!

Man, Ryo Mizunami needs to come back to America.

Oh man, this match is good.

Yeah, it's all about numbers. Plus, where would Roxanne Perez, the newest NXT gal, rank if she had signed with AEW? Third best, fourth best? I mean she is about as good as Thunder Rosa. Tony Storm, Jamie Hayter and Serena Deeb are the only women who are definitely better. EDIT: And if Perez signed with IMPACT!, she would be fourth best behind Deonna Purrazzo, Tasha Steelz and Masha Slamovich.

Meiko Satomura and a dog.

It did well because... it featured... uh.... well....uh....

Madison Raine making fun of Gia Miller's accent is my new favorite thing.

One (me) can forget sometimes that Saya Kamitani is possibly the best wrestler on earth. Here, she wrestles Utami Hayashishita and it is fucking awesome. KAIRI is back and MAN! she remembers how to bring Stardom-level Stiffness back. ======================== Black Terry against Black Warrior and they take it to the mat and then Black Warrior hits Black Terry with a tire. Ah, Mexico.... ======================== Heather Reckless is tiny and spunky. IMPACT! or AEW should sign her. Missa Kate is doing strange things with her pants.

Well, WWE has three more hours of TV a week so they can showboat the ladies. Plus your best AEW lady, Toni Storm, just got there and has had two matches. The WWE has sheer numbers of good women wrestlers that is only matched MAYBE by Stardom. AEW is just three years old, it hasn't developed NEARLY as much as the WWE Women's division. EDIT: I don't know if AEW's women's division is better than the IMPACT! Knockouts division.

Eh, it's true.

WTF! First, Pro Wrestling HEAT-UP! is running Koruken. Second, THIS is on the show. COLORS vs CHOCO PRO!

I got a lot of those episodes sitting on a list in my youtube account. I should watch those. I remember going to see NAWA at the Arthur Ashe center in Richmond WWAAAAAY back in the day. I remember the Nasty Boys being there like WEEKS before they showed up in the AWA and on to stardom. I remember they spat on a fan. It was awesome.

So Sonya Deville is really good. Bianca Belair is really good. That match was wacky and fun. Veer Mahan was all dynamic and shit. HEY! ASUKA IS BACK! I like Becky Lynch's hair. Seems like a lot of stuff was off in the Finn Balor- Damien Priest match. It might have been the preposterous edits. Is Finn Balor showing up on Dynamite Wednesday or something? Mustafa Ali is back! The Miz lays it in. Ali will take an Irish Whip like a CHAMP. The Miz works STIFF. Ali takes a DDT like fucking Rob Van Dam. Man, Mustafa Ali made Miz look like a zillion bucks. That Rhea Ripley/Liv Morgan pull apart was FABULOUS! This main event is a lot of wrestling. Ezekiel was surprisingly impressive. Nice Spinebuster. Matt Riddle bumps ENOURMOUS! Awesome. this turns into an extended RKBro match. Riddle takes quite the assbeating as this is the Most Southern Tag Ever! Randy Orton has redefined the Robert Gibson role in the Southern tag and this night is a celebration of Randy Orton so hits his signature spots on all four opponents and this is pretty awesome. YAAAY! Everyone goes home happy, including me.

AWESOME!

Raychell Rose tomorrow!

Hey now!

CUTLER~!

Also yeah!

Oh yeah!

Luther's New Team Piper vs the Dark Order! New Team Piper has no Horshu so they did not win. Julia Hart is still slowly turning evil. Kris Statlander is more quickly turning evil. Julia Hart needs to switch to a black cheerleader outfit. Statlander is already in black Gear of HORROR! This match is pretty awkward. They edit the hell out of something Hart did and labeled it a "bulldog". It gets okay by the end. They get in all the things that Hart does well and Statlander does some neat power things. This ended well. The start? Well... this ended well. Will Brandon Cutler be able to be the Terry Funk of AEW with Konosuke Takashita? SWEET SENTON by Takeshita. Brandon Cutler is soooo awesome. Nice DDT by Takeshita. He's got the best Rotation Powerbomb on earth. SWEET BRAINBUSTER! Takeshita realizes that Minoru Suzuki and Tomohiro Ishii are also on this show so he OPTS to beat the living shit out of Cutler. I love that Cutler is just letting Takeshita SHOWBOAT his myriad of finishers. Cutler is AWESOME. Takeshita is AWESOME. Cutler is the ALL-STAR of Dark Elevation/Dark. Smart Mark Sterling is golden ON THE STICK~! Tony Nese made this match fun by giving the Steel City Brawler a wad of offense. Minoru Suzuki is going to show up on Championship Wrestling from Memphis/Hollywood, NWA POWERRR and MLW this week too, right? I have seen him wrestle four times this week (Too Cold Scorpio, Jake Something, Mike Bailey, QT Marshall), I think THREE of those are from the last seven days. Suzuki is wrestling a WWF 1987 schedule. The Factory gets ejected and I just now notice their slick matching outfits. This match was fun. GOTCH STYLE PILEDRIVER! QT Marshall is so good. Minoru Suzuki should just move to Jacksonville. Jon Silver wrestles the 11th bald guy on this show. He wins very quickly. Skye Blue is adorable as a face in peril. The Bunny lays it in- as she was the first opponent to Toni Storm and she beats the hell out of Skye Blue. Bunny/Emi/Nyla are a great rudo trio. Ruby Soho is your female Randy Orton on the apron and we all await her tagging in,. BUT SHE DOESN'T! They have an elaborate finish that ends with Anna J tapping out the Bunny after Skye Blue hits a plancha off the top. That was good. PENTA OSCURA! He will tell a story. Max Caster! He does a rap! The story is that Anthony Bowen keeps interfering! Penta does his third most dangerous finisher. That was a good little episode of Elevation. AEW RULES THE WHOLE MOTHERFUCKING WORLD!

Hey! Demus is back on the internet! He and Ricky Marvin wrestle each other. So, when AEW brings in Mexican mat guys to takesa on Zack Sabre Jr, they should bring in Judas El Traitor? He hangs with Mexican mat man, Heddi Karaoui, This is good. ======================= I usually don't think about Alisha Edwards much. She is the IMPACT! Knockout you send out there to put over anpther Knockout, a kind of Frankie Kazarian of the Knockouts Division. BUT TURN HER HEEL AND SHE IS A HOOT! Little Mean Kathleen is over in Massachussetts. ====================== This match is motherfucking GREAT! WRESTLE FORCE! Jay Joshua and Billy Haze are like the 15th best tag team on earth. James Toner and Smashing Mike are a good Rock and Roll Express to Joshua and Haze's FTR. The little children of WRESTLE FORCE chanting "KICK HIM IN THE NUTS!" is adorable/unsettling.

Minoru Suzuki vs Jake Something was one of the better Minoru Suzuki matches I've seen this month.