DEAN

Oh! Let me throw this baby up!

Awesome! After ten four star plus matches in seven days, let's clean the palette with a stereo Royal Rumble. OH NO! THE WHOLE MATCH IS IN PICTURE IN PICTURE! The Butcher starts off by crushing Darby against the safety rail! John Silver and Hangman Page hug and do some hijinx after Double Suplexing Powerhouse Hobbs! Rush comes in a beats on Johnny Hungee! Rush beats on Ricky Starks! Butcher and the Blade work over Darby and Max Caster! CAN MAX AND DARBY WORK TOGETHER! Penta and Rush beat on each other outside the ring and I am SO into this feud. John Silver is eliminated by Hobbs! Shane Strickland comes in and eliminates Max! CAN SHANE AND DARBY WORK TOGETHER! Keith Lee and Powerhouse Hobbs are in the same ring! Oh awesome! We can get picture in picture in picture in picture! Matt Hardy comes in in the tiny screen! Hey! It's Dustin Rhodes. I was thinking yesterday- when is Dustin Rhodes wrestling again? Rush lowblows PENTA and PENTA drags them both to the floor. Andrade hits PENTA with a chair. BRING IN DRAGON LEE AND LET'S GET THIS FEUD ROLLING! Dante Martin will be eliminated spectacularly, I'm guessing. KONOSUKE TAKESHITA! He hits his Flying Lariat on Swerve. He hits his Blue Thunder Bomb on Darby! HE SUPLEXES DARBY AND SWERVE! AT THE SAME TIME! YAAAAY! KONOSUKE! It's Brodie King! I think I read that he wins this. I can only hope. JANE! It's Summertime! Dante doesn't die when eliminated. TAKESHITA and Orange Cassidy FACE OFF! Cassidy eats a Takeshita Brainbuster! OH NO! B and B eliminates Takeshita! Everybody gets eliminated in like 20 seconds! It's Darby versus Brodie King for the title shot! King's cannonball is as GNARLEY as Toni Storm's Flying Hip Attack! Brodie King! I did read that earlier! Well Brodie motherfucking King versus Jon motherfucking Moxley will TOTALLY rock. Konosuke Takeshita was the TOTAL Superstar of that match. That was fun. KONOSUKE TAKESHITA! BRODIE MOTHERFUCKING KING! Hook says something incomprehensible. Hook IS the Ultimate Warrior! Hey! It's Hirooki Goto on my free TV! CLUBBERIN! MORE CLUBBERIN! Nice Locomotion Northern Lights Suplex by Matt Jackson. Now HE Suplexes two guys at once, but not all crazy like Konosuke Takeshita did. ESCALARA by Nick Jackson! Matt Jackson hits a Jerry Lawler fistdrop during picture in picture. IATIF. YOSHI-HASHI is our face in peril during the picture in picture! He makes the HOT TAG! A lot of stuff happens! Many nearfalls as Goto and Y-H burn through their finishers! Meltzer Driver! The Young Bucks win! That was good. Nyla and Toni Storm! This should be good. I dig Marina Shafir hanging around Nyla. WHY ARE THERE NO TAG BELTS? I am not noticing Toni Storm's pants. I love that Toni Storm's elbow strikes are 60% stiffer than 90% of the New Japan guys last Sunday. AWESOME! MARINA SHAFIR CHEATS FOR NYLA! Mannnn, IATIF. Marina CHEATS EVEN MORE during picture in picture! Toni takes an assbeating on the outside. Nyla and Shafir versus Deeb and Martinez is your money match. Nyla beats the fudge out of Storm and fish hooks her like three different ways. I will find out tomorrow if the crowd was behind her while Nyla was beating the hell out of her, FLYING HIP ATTACK! German Suplex! Pendulum DDT for the win! Marina attacks Storm postmatch! Thunder Rosa makes the save! I can only assume it will be Shafir/Nyla vs Storm/Thunder Rosa and that'll be good. That was a fun episode. AEW RULES FUCKING GODDAM WORLD!

Oh man, it's a night of battle royals! WWE goes for an old fashioned battle royal and I will forgo my usual dismissal of battle royals because after 10 four star plus matches in 7 days in AEW, the wrestling industry can take a break and just deliver some fun. Umos is assuming the Andre role and he eliminates a wad of guys before he is eliminated by Riddle draping his arm over the rope and two beefy guys, McIntyre and Sheamus I think, and they eliminate him! Sheamus and McIntyre are two of the last three and have a little match within the match! Sammy Zayne is so fucking great- being Fuego del Sol being hip tossed across the ring and he is eliminated! Sheamus and McIntyre get tied up and BOTH are eliminated by Happy Corbin! I guess that means Frankie Kazarian is winning the Rampage Rumble! I don't know what it means to win this one. If it was a TRUE old fashioned battle royal, Happy Corbin would win $50,000! AND I BET HE DID! $50,000! MONEY! Right? BIG TIME BECKS! On commentary! Asuka is all spinny and kicky! Shotzi wants no part of her! Asuka is all crazy avoiding Raquel Rodriguez' big mean offense! Raquel assumes the Andre role! Alexa Bliss bounces off her! Becks is awesome being fucking insane. Liv Morgan is beaten on by Raquel and she finally tags in Shotzi Blackheart and we all wonder if Shotzi will do something insane in this match. Liv starts a highspot train with a COMPLETELY out of control tope with Asuka knocking Raquel off the apron with a Flying Hip Attack followed by a wheelbarrow senton by Alexa Bliss ALSO on Raquel. Alexis Bliss versus Raquel is the story of the match, with Shotzi trying to steal Raquel's pin. Alexa is our face in peril, and I don't think Shotzi is going to do anything insane, but she is good beating some heat on Alexa. The crowd gets behind Alexa's babyface fire! She makes the HOT TAG to Asuka and Asuka is more of a Terry Gordy than a Robert Gibson. She CRUSHES Shotzi with a German Suplex! Liv Morgan is back in the match. This match is awesome. Shotzi is also INSANE and Liv Morgan hits her finisher and pins Shotzi! Big Time Becks SNEAKS IN THE RING AND URINAGIS ASUKA! Fun. Oh no! A four way to make it into the MITB match! MORE HAPPY CORBIN! PUT THE STRAPS~! ON HIM! Corbin takes some STIFF forearms from Ezekiel and bumps all over the arena. Corbin then chokeslams everybody onto the hard surfaces around the ring- the apron, the announcer's table. Maybe Corbin is good. I've never really paid attention to him before. Okay, I've never seen one guy catapult another guy's head into the testicles of another guy. Let''s hear it for the match! Corbin is good. Maybe Madcap Moss is good. This is a match of half the guys I've never seen wrestle before. Madcap Moss steals the pin from Corbin! He gets to partake in the stupidest concept in current wrestling! The Money In The Bank Idea! It has ruined a thousand indie belts! That was a fun episode.

They need to put the belt on Mercurio! He got Natalia Markova's purse back! Matt Cardona was the best NWA champion since Ric Flair. He is electric on the STICK~! Missa Kate is all over the place lately. I think she will be lasting longer in this match. It's Jennacide! It's Max The Impaler! Tagging with Chelsea Green? Chelsea starts the match rolling by raking Missa's eyes! Max IS Luther! Chelsea IS Serpentico! This is fun. Jennicide is our Robert Gibson! Max and Jennicide make it a HOSS BATTLE! Max crushes Missa and gets the pin! I want to see Max/Chelsea versus Pretty Empowered FOR THE BELTS~! Oh geez, it's a three way DANCE! I could not give less of a fuck about this. At least it doesn't go on to long. Hey! It's Doug Williams and DBS Jr! It's Bestia 666! It's Mecha Wolf! BUT FIRST Anthony Andrews and Rodney Mack have a little match. Mack has good punches. La Rebellion starts of HOT with Stereo Tope Con Hilos! Doug Williams is Doug Williamsy with perfect suplexes. DBS Jr brings his power offense into the ring. HE does that extended Vertical Suplex like his father. Mecha Wolf does a cool first and second ropes tope allowing DBS Jr to hit a Running Powerslam like his father! And gets the pin. That was good.

I had one. Hangman Tim bought me one for my birthday as he found some at some outlet store. I don't they ever official sold them.

MERCURIO! Italian fashion model and CRIME FIGHTER!

Aster Boy and Noisy Boy are two of the best highfliers in the indies. El Hijo del Vikingo is the BEST HIGHFLIER IN THE WORLD. This is the dream tag. Toxin is awesome catching all of them. ========================= Jordan Breaks and David Francisco grapple on the mat! Jordan Breaks isn't actually related to Jim Breaks, but he wrestles on the mat like him and uses a Breaks Special for a finisher. If only he could throw fits like Jim Breaks, he would take it to another level. ========================= This is confusing. Noisy Boy is your technico and he comes to the ring with a neck brace. Puma De Oro mangles Aster Boy's leg prematch. Then they have a match. Noisy Boy is spectacular.

I noticed an unloadably giant file of Forbidden Door on there.

well. that's motherfucking awesome.

Kidd Bandit finally got a cagematch.net profile!

Oh yeah. I discovered that looking for Yuma Aoyagi matches a few polls back.

That ain't good.

Jesus, tread mills are dangerous!

Adorable.

Vikingo!

Has anybody heard about Santana's injury?

Post pictures!

My picks are colored by the fact that I watch only free TV and what is posted to YouTube. And a few matches I watch through sleazier means. Wrestler of the Year: Oh man, there is a LOT to choose from but I would have to go with Jon Moxley. Match of the Year: Oh man, there is a LOT to choose from. El Lindaman vs T-Hawk for the G-Rex championship is my Japan match of the year so far and the overall match of the year is FTR vs the Briscoes. Man, that was fucking great. Tag Team of the Year: Oh man, there is a LOT to FTR. Card of the Year: Forbidden Door. Super Card of Honor was a close second. Those are the two PPV's I actually paid for. Wrestlemania 38 was pretty fucking good too. (I paid for that by risky malware on my laptop!) But yeah, can't beat Forbidden Door. Promotion of the Year: AEW in a WALK. Best in Japan is GLEAT! Though I'd prolly go with All Japan if I ever get around to watching more of it on archive.org. Woman Wrestler of the Year: Suzu Suzuki is having a stellar year but I haven't seen enough of her matches. Saya Kamitani is prolly your winner. In the US, I'd go with Big Time Becks. On the indies, I'd edge KiLynn King over Masha Slamovich. Rookie of the Year: Remi Adetunji from the UK. He is going to be completely awesome after getting 100 matches in.

It could happen. FORBIDDEN DOOR!

I might call an audible on this week's poll. Jordynne Grace vs Savannah Evans Ace Austin vs Alex Zayne Chris Sabin vs Frankie Kazarian

FUCK YEAH!

Okay, what the fuck is going on here?

OH MAN! Think of the matches when she returns to Stardom.

Delardilization.

Yep.