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"My Brother Randy will go into the hall of fame Quite the accomplishment I must acclaim But remember this HHH and you'll never be the same Stephanie rode the madness before she played the game" Boom fucking sauce. Print da money.

Guys, I really don't think this is a big deal, Hulk Hogan isn't racist. I mean, according to my sources orange is the new black! I'll see myself out.

We have time...... I'll have to write this out when I'm working from home tomorrow and some downtime. So basically I was about 5 years old and was staying at my grandma's place for the summer with my aunts, cousins and my great-grandfather. All of my aunts and my grandmom were at work and it was just me, my one 11 year old cousin and my 14 year old aunt and my great-grandfather. We lived out in the country so it wasn't that big of a deal for us kids to roam around everywhere as we had other relatives living nearby. So I'm sitting in the living room with my great-grandfather, watching tv and he just kinda keels over and lays on the ground. Just out of nowhere. I'm 5 years old and have no clue what's going on so I get my cousin and aunt b/c they're older. They freak the fuck out b/c they think he's dead and I remember being pretty calm and saying, "hmmm, maybe we should get Aunt Earline (our retired aunt who lived next door) b/c she's grown-up and you're both still kids like me." So we get my aunt and she comes to the house and she flips out. Calls 911, calls all of our other relatives, get people to come back from work. I remember calling my one aunt who kinda ran the household. Calling her was huge b/c it was she was like the last resort b/c she could not take time off unless it was an absolute emergency. So she hauls ass back to the house. Everyone's at the house, EMT's arrive, etc. As soon as they're about to start doing CPR and all that, my great-grandfather no sold everything and did what can best be described as an Undertaker sit-up and goes, "I just wanted to see if ya'll loved granddaddy". My aunt read him the fucking riot act and the EMTs went nuts but what can you really do to an 85 year old dude? The gif of Teddy Long's heart attack is exactly how he fell out of his chair.

"Yet, thanks to my trusty safetysphere, I sublibed with only tribial brain dablage." One of my favorite Futurama lines isn't quite as funny anymore. So over the past year or so, I've been suffering from bouts of anxiety and depression, coming in and out in waves. Issues with work and home life have contributed but it was definitely something out of the norm. After urging from my wife and doctor, I visited the Amen Clinics in Bellevue this week to get treated for my ongoing ADHD issues and to get SPECT scans of my brain. What we found was far worse. What you see in this scan is multiple, cumulative TBIs (traumatic brain injuries) in my brain, clustered in the occipital and frontal lobes, but in multiple locations. Two scans were taken - this one, after I had engaged in mental activity, and one at rest. (The one at rest looks even worse.) In short, the bumps and head shots I took through my wrestling career have led to brain damage, and are the probable cause of my anxiety and depression. Most of the damage is to the back of the brain, which makes sense, as that's what would be impacted by standard bumps. There are a few in other places, and nearly all of them I can directly attribute to individual shots over the years. One was hard enough that it not only caused damage on the impact point, but on the other side as well, meaning my brain actually bounced - that was from a superkick by Scotty Mac in ECCW. (I did a promo line back then that I felt my brain actually bounce in my head. Guess I wasn't imagining it.) However, like I said on Twitter, data is beautiful and knowing is half the battle. Now that we know, I can be treated for it, and I began treatment this morning for all issues - I've started once again on Adderall to counter the ADHD symptoms, and on a low dose of Cymbalta to help with the anxiety and depression. Cymbalta also helps with issues with pain and neuropathy, which I've experienced in the past year due to possible degenerative disc issues in my neck, and a shoulder injury suffered in 2016. I will also be getting a volumetric MRI and a full spinal scan to help with those issues. But it scares me what kind of shape the brains of my friends that are/were full time wrestlers and take far stupider bumps than I ever did will be in at this point, or five/ten/twenty years from now. I was just a referee, manager and occasional wrestler, and I still ended up with noticeable, actionable damage. One thing is for sure - my wrestling career is definitely, definitively over. I may do commentary spots or appearances of that nature here and there as the itch strikes, but I will *never* take a bump of any kind ever again. This is my own decision, not the doctor's - I am medically disqualifying myself. Unlike Daniel Bryan, there will be no comeback, and honestly, I don't want one - pro wrestling in this area has changed to the point that I had already decided to walk away with my sanity, finances and health as intact as possible. This just makes it easier, in a way. But to make one thing perfectly clear: I don't blame pro wrestling for this whatsoever, in any way, shape or form. I knew what I was getting into, which is why I was careful about the bumps I did take (and the ones I *didn't*). I wouldn't change a thing and I don't regret any of it (well, maybe some of the people I associated with). You won't see me involved in a frivolous lawsuit blaming others for this. Hell, 99% of it was my idea to begin with. (I hate to pop everyone's bubble but nearly every fun angle, match and storyline I was part of was almost entirely my idea. Sadly, that includes the dumbass bumps, too.) I'd say this should serve as a cautionary tale, but it won't. The new guys never listen to those before them that tell them to take it easy, just like those that come after them won't listen to them either. But I know there's some current and aspiring wrestlers that might read this, so I'll just say - please be careful, and be smart. And if you start feeling "different", or especially if those around you notice something different, please, seek help. It's not there to judge you - it's there to help you get better. I should've gone to the Amen Clinics months ago - they have been fantastic and both the doctors and I are extremely optimistic of a significant, if not full recovery. I did more in my wrestling career than I ever would've dreamed possible. I had experiences I wouldn't trade for anything. It brought me out of my introverted shell and taught me so much, good and bad. Without it, I wouldn't have moved to Seattle, and I wouldn't have met the woman that would eventually become my wife and soulmate. I refereed a match with Kevin Nash in front of 1800 people, got punched by Ross Hart, booked guys like Christopher Daniels, Raven, Matt Borne and Fit Finlay for matches, was front and center in three fantastic stables and major angles, main evented in major matches, was carried out of a building kicking and screaming by a local women's tackle football team (Seattle Mystics represent), got to piss off more fans than I can count, main evented as a referee, a manager and a wrestler, transition for six months into a commentator, be the executive producer of a promotion and TV show in my own vision, had my own championship belts created (twice!) and even held two championships at the same time. And guess what? It was fun.

So the family was pretty Anoa'id?

There's an idea for a stable. Owens, Joe, Ohno, and a fourth, maybe Damo/Dain. Their name would be

Whatever you say, Overly Critical Bitch. Just testing this out. My likes count will determine the power of your theory.

Because it's the internet and wrestling dudes make gifs.

At least the Harris Bros. have achieved their lifelong dream of being minority owners.

Wm32: Wahhhgrrrbl! Here Wrestlemania, have A Snickers. You suck when you're hungry. Better? NXT Takeover Dallas: Better

If you don't think someone saying or supporting the equivalent of "a trans person isn't a human being" can hurt someone, please find somewhere else to visit. I may end up being the last person on this board if necessary but that ain't fucking flying around here

Back around 2005, Bobby appeared on this ROH show I went to at the Rexplex in North Jersey. Before the show, he was taking pictures with fans for ten bucks a Polaroid. Of course I was on that shit in a heartbeat. When I handed the photo guy a twenty and he gave me my change, the twenty fell on the floor and he didn't see it. I said, "Hey man, you dropped that twenty." Bobby puts his arm around me for the pose and says to me, "You're not originally from New Jersey, are you?" I say, "No." He says, "I know, cause if you were you woulda kept that twenty." And then the pic was taken. Rest in peace to the greatest of all time.

I am getting tired of it, so if you have been doing a troll gimmick, I would tone it down or enjoy some board vacations

We live in a world where Dean Ambrose is the only Shield member who hasn't embarrassed the company.

I'm celebrating my 25th anniversary as a pro wrestling announcer. I want to thank you all for your expertise, because I hadn't watched any Ring of Honor before I started announcing there. You were very helpful. Top 25 Moments of my First 25 Years as a Pro Wrestling Announcer 1. First Show - Jan. 28, 1994 for American States Wrestling Alliance in Mansfield, Ohio - Dad is my timekeeper and DJ 2. Mom and Dad: "Jeff, you got a phone call from Bubba the Stompin' Hillbilly" 3. Driving Mick Foley to Johnstown, PA so he can be special referee for Jerry Lawler vs. Dusty Rhodes 4. Calling play-by-play for Low Ki vs. Samoa Joe in my Ring of Honor debut, Glory By Honor, in 2002 5. Meeting Eddy Guerrero and ring announcing his match with CM Punk for the IWC and WWF Intercontinental titles 6. Solo commentary and ring announcing for the first IWC Super Indy tournament, featuring Punk, Colt Cabana, Low-Ki and Chris Daniels 7. Doing the Time Warp and Fargo Strut for Lou Marconi's farewell to PWX in Pittsburgh 8. Erie baseball stadium show: Announcing from the pitcher's mound, Norm Connors enters with Lord Zoltan on a bullpen cart before getting chased around the bases by Virgil 9. Announcing Greg Valentine vs. Brutus Beefcake with my brother Rob - Dad took us to our first show in 1985 with Dream Team defending the WWF tag belts against the British Bulldogs 10. Announcing Mike Quackenbush vs. El Hijo del Santo for Future Wrestling Alliance in 2000 11. Cracking up laughing in the ring while introducing Private Eye in Chikara (I hadn't seen the full outfit backstage) 12. Announcing Fabulous Moolah & Mae Young in the back of a van on a rainy outdoor show for "APWF 2000" 13. Announcing Chris Hero vs. CM Punk for 30 minutes in IWC while calming my 1-year-old daughter on my lap 14. Jake Roberts grabs me from behind by the shoulders, so he can take my mic and cut a drunken promo on the crowd in Firestorm Pro Wrestling 15. Cleveland Knights Championship Wrestling 1st Anniversary show with Billy Gunn and Rock & Roll Express 16. Calling a "Gorilla Monsoon Tribute Match" with Hot $hot Drew Lazario 17. Cutting a promo on Norm Connors for selling Steel City Wrestling to Cueball Carmichael for $1 before introducing Blue Meanie as my mystery WWF superstar in the Steel City title tournament 18. Joining UndaGround Wrestling at my cousin's Rubber City Pop Culture Festival 19. Road trips to Philadelphia to call play-by-play for Ring of Honor featuring IHOP pancakes and Sour Skittles 20. Announcing with Joe Dombrowski and Kingdom James (GOAT Announcing Trio) 21. Announcing the first ROH show in Chicago - My daughter rides on my back in a baby backpack in the locker room before the show - Punk & Cabana win the ROH tag belts 22. Producing Eric Bischoff's backstage segments at the New World Rising iPPV for Cleveland Knights Championship Wrestling in 2018 23. Crowd cheers for me before the main event of ROH Revenge on the Prophecy in the company's Pittsburgh debut in 2003 24. IWC departure in 2004 - Thanking my wife, kid and wrestlers - Also announcing Dennis Condrey for the first time (Original Midnights vs. Smothers-Hamrick) 25. My 25th anniversary show in my hometown of Akron at the bottom of the Soap Box Derby hill with Mom in the crowd for the first time Photos and links available on Twitter at the hashtag #Gorman25 Goal for the next 25 years: Become the first announcer ever to work for WWE, UFC and Major League Baseball

Dory & Terry Funk

Punk hasn't talked to me since I banned him from the board

I don't think this would fit in the toilet.

I shouldn't address this, I know, and I'm sorry. But I don't think anyone here is a huge fan of Brie Bella. I, personally, think she's pretty bad at being a pro wrestler. But his fucking wife came to the ring to be with him when he emotionally ended his career and somehow you see ulterior motives there. Because you are a vile, misogynistic piece of shit.

Russo tweets the following: which brings about this conversation: Then some corporate social media type wins everything: This is why I can't hate Twitter.

Getting ready to set his son up on a date with Emma. His Kayfabe son could form a team with her called Five-Finger Discount.

I died and died and died when this was tweeted out.

JAE'S MATCH ANALYSIS WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE FIGHT: JOHN CENA vs. BROCK LESNAR My favorite part of this match was when John Cena got the shit beat out of him the whole time. Then lost. My least favorite part of this match was when Brock Lesnar got tired of beating the shit out of John Cena and stopped the match by winning.

Man, people are so hard on Bret Hart. They seem to forget the guy worked full time on the road for WWF since 1984, always working hard, and most of the time having the best match on the card. The dude was shit on for years and had to fight like a dog to get where he was at. If there was ever an example of paying your dues it was Hart. One of the reasons he was dropping the title was to get some time off, away from the spotlight. Bret would have had that belt back within months of Shawn's terrible drawing if he was still around. Not to mention all the off the radar wrestling camps Bret was having at his fucking house during this period, working with guys like Henry, Shamrock, Edge, and on and on. Sure the guy had an attitude and thought he was the best. Anyone who is great at what they do and is ultra competitive does. Maybe he believes his own hype, so do most guys who get to the top. If you want to talk about guys who left because they weren't featured the way they wanted you would have a huge list. Bret Hart wouldn't be anywhere near the top. And by the way, let's not act like Bret had nothing to be bitter about for years. The legacy he built was forever tarnished. His closest brother is killed in an in ring accident. Friends and family dying young. Dude had every right to be bitter, but he was still good to his fans and told it like it was. When Warrior recently called the WWE out on their bullshit DVD he was a hero. When Bret called them out he was full of himself, or a mark, or a complainer. My dad met Bret in an airport. He introduced himself and told him that Bret was my childhood idol. Bret stopped in the middle of the airport, went through his carry on, found an 8x10, wrote a personal thank you, and signed it. What a bitter prick right? Rant over.

Frankly, as a gay guy, I was relieved to learn that queering didn't make the world work. That's a lot of pressure I don't have to deal with.

Because it's Eddie's kid.

I...am....trembling....as I write this. Ladies and Gentlemen, After Over 17 1/2 years since the last time Big Dave Batista bid us farewell and walked sadly into the horizon ...lorched clumsily over the barrier He has finally returned to redeem our own lack of faith in him. This is your last chance to embrace his love and ascend to a world wear Daniel Craig and Zoe Saldana might recognize you as being of the same species as them...and Batista is your guide and savior. I give you... BATISTA FASHION WATCH!!!!!!! TOnight: Also there is, it must be noted for the history books, this Special FASHION WATCH NOTE: Oh God... OHGOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDITSHAPPENING!!!

Yes, it's called HARRRRRvard.

Guys, over the last two weeks something special has begun to happen. With the Breakdown of The Shield, two of the three members have been freed to express their passion, their fear, their rage and terror and, yes, their love... ...through clothing. Now Seth Rollins has little control over his inner fembot and has charged headlong into a rapidly slenderized ensemble that will, as soon as he gets the hang of it, result in a remarkably unsettlingly and enticing half-drag burlesque act: So far he's struggling to get it right, as this candid shot from before RAW demonstrates: Dean Ambrose, on the other hand, is a character who clings to his past relationships and counts loyalty as the greatest of human qualities. Thus he will only gradually shed the layers and pockets and leather and black that defined him and remind him of his old crew. But the transformation is happening, people. Slowly but inexorably. And so I give you: The Evolution of Dean: Last week Dean stuck close to his beloved origin look. He actually wore the same damn black t-shirt he always had under all that stuff. All that changed was the lightening of the pants: He also added a black leather jacket (not pictured), a reduction of his original shield gear that he can't yet bear to leave behind. But this Week he inched a littler further away, like a baby fox exploring the world around his mother's den, furtively but excited: Baby steps, Dean! The pattern is clear and I think at this point we can project the upcoming transformations and perhaps even theorize an end point. Based on our experts and computer programs we can confidantly outline the following trends in the coming calendar year: Money In the Bank:

I work for our city's minor-league hockey team and we had a post-game meet & greet at the casino last night since it was the last game of the season. After being there a little while, I look over at the Casino bar and see a guy sitting by himself having a Miller Lite. He looked familiar but I could only see him from the side. A short time later while the hockey M&G was still going on nearby, I see the guy fully turn around to check out the scene and holy shit it's RICKY STEAMBOAT. Turns out IWC out of Pittsburgh ran a show at the casino earlier in the evening and brought him in for the weekend. Needless to say, at that point, I completely abandoned all work duties and introduced myself to him. We literally spent the next hour bullshitting at the bar. Everything from Mid-Atlantic to Jay Youngblood to WM 3 and the buildup with Savage to the Flair Trilogy(his favorite was the Clash VI 2 out of 3) to working with Rude & Austin before he retired. Super, super nice guy. He actually asked me for a picture since I bought him a beer which was unexpected and cool. Definitely one of those moments I'll remember for a long time.

Finally going home today.

Mark Henry as Rick Ross

"Listen up, ladies and gentlemen. Our disgruntled wrestling employee has been on the run for 90 minutes. Average foot speed over uneven ground, barring hernias, is 4 miles-an-hour. That gives us a radius of six miles. What I want out of each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every Pac Sun, Vitamin Shoppe, Sally Beauty, tribal tattoo den, outhouse and Big Doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Your fugitive’s name is Leati Ani...Anay...An...it's Roman Reigns. Go get him."

Cena probably thought Ford wouldn't notice the sale since they couldn't see him

He's our favorite, every single one of us. Our favorite what? Does it even matter? You know it's true. He's just our favorite. Within the last 48 hours, I swear to you that I told my kid "Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat." The Brain shaped every kid who grew up to be a smartass on this board, and that's all of us.

I tried to get a buyer.

New Heavenly Bodies are New Jersey guys. I think Tom Prichard gave them the blessing to do the gimmick. Cornette probably doesn't even know they exist. He should be the ring announcer. "Ladies and gentlemen, or should I say you bunch of white trash, this match is a tag team match. Introducing first, getting the day off from the shoe store he works at, Chuck Taylor. And his partner from a backyard in France, Trent Beret. And their opponents, a couple of NWO wannabes that don't got no respect and didn't never show me no respect and try to shake my hand, and they couldn't never carry me and my brother's jocks, weighing in at a combined weight of less than the vein in my cock...Bill and Randy, The Young Punks." "Listen up, this is the main event so after this match you white trash got to go home to the trailer park. Coming to the ring first, a second-generation wrestler whose daddy was really strong but nowhere near as strong as me, this is Harry Boy Smith. And his partner comes from Texas and only two things come Texas and he's got a tramp stamp so you know which one he is, Lance Hoyt. And their opponents are some more NWO wannabes and they think they're hot shit cause they been IWGP Tag Team Champions. Well, let me tell you, me and my brother were the greatest IWGP Tag Team Champions and we beat everybody over there. Legends! Muto, Chono, Sasaki, Hase, we dropped all of 'em on their heads and these two clowns got beat cause they got distracted by a broad, that's a six at best, cause they ain't never had no pussy before. Here's Karl "Popgun" Anderson and a guy who painted his face up to hide his tears cause he's scared to death to be near the Big Bad Booty Daddy, the big retard Doc Gallows."

Public Notice: I'm giving vacations out to anyone who feels the need to make fun of others for giving a crap. So if you've got "carelord" in your smug, condescending lexicon, retire it. Now that I have blood on my hands it's just going to get easier, which means my tolerance for general idiocy has lessened. So watch your step.

I'm a bit late to the party on the whole Miz as champion debate, but I wanted to add a personal story as to why Miz winning the title will always stand out for me. My brother, who was a poster on this board (SgtPepper9876), was intensely anti-Miz. Couldn't stand him I always told him to get used to used to him, because I had a feeling he'd be around awhile, and I was certain that at some point he'd win the WWE championship. This idea was insane to my brother.......he just thought the idea was ludicrous. We would constantly debate it.....more just brothers goofing off and having fun than anything, but also me believing it and him really not being a Miz fan. My brother passed away on November 17th, 2010. His funeral was Monday November 22nd, 2010. I came home that day from the funeral and sat down and watched Raw on the DVR.......I needed to get my mind somewhere else and we both watched Raw religiously on Mondays, so it was a decent way to cope. Well, of course, Monday 11-22-10 was the night Miz won the WWE championship......the night of my brother's funeral....my brother who swore it would never happen. I remember distinctly laughing out loud, saying out loud "Well I'll be goddamned", and then having a decent cry while smiling at the same time. Looking back it's a very surreal and vivid memory.