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This show was quite a month-long slow-motion kick to the nuts. The first two matches had me excited and into it. Alexa is so fantastic. Miz is so fantastic. They both deserve so much better. Then the One-Two punch of Randy Orton being like a treadmill workout to watch and Carmella being some kind of Kroll Show version of a wrestler staggered me...hard. Even though I left the room for Orton, the sheer power of his boringness seeped into the wifi and contaminated my bones. And watching Charlotte Flair have to play fight with a strange defective blonde child and lose was bewildering and embarassing like a skit at a family picnic where the family has a prodigious child that likes to put on skits and we all have to watch them. But then Elias splashed some water on my face and told me I could do it. And you know what? I think I can! Thanks, Elias! You are so great! Please do more. Then Big Cass put me in a sleeper hold and I tried and tried to keep going because I knew Daniel Bryan would save me. And then he did! He ended it, pretty quickly and told me now we could be together. But then a PA announcement decreed that Big Cass was going to never ever ever stop being there and ruining Daniel Bryan and I wept openly because I knew I was in the Clockwork Orange world and everything is just going to be like this and never make sense always. And then AJ Styles and Nakamura wrestled for, something like 7 hours and for nothing. For nothing. They wrestled for 3 days without food or sleep and then on the third day they just said "That's that we're leaving now." And the people said "But why did you even? Why did we even?" And they said "We just like cardio bye." And why can't they just FUCKING DO SOMETHING????? And I lay down and closed my eyes and tried to stop breathing. Then they reminded me there were still TWO matches left and my soul left my body. And then there was a Three Stooges short, which was nice, except it was a little weird because Moe was fat and Canadian and Larry was Syrian and they had all the best punch lines. I think it was a Joe Dorita, because the third guy wasn't funny and he was black and it was weird because it was like the only one where Vernon Dent wins and beats the shit out of the stooges and was a giant hillbilly. I may have been having a death mirage at that point. Then they introduced Roman Reigns and turned down the crowd noise so much and so suddenly that my Roku stuttered and told me to check my audio settings. And when I went into settings to check them, my Roku spoke to me and said "Look, we're out right now. We're out and they don't know it. We don't have to go back, you know. We can just not go back. You know nothing good is going on in there." But I knew I had to go back. I did and Mchael Cole quickly told me someone "has absolutely no absence of malice" and I knew I wanted to live if only that I meet Michael Cole some day and punch him in the mouth. So I guess I have to give this show a thumb up. I can't right now because my brain has shut down to the point that I cannot send the "up" signal to either thumb. But I will pencil it in to do alter since despite literally killing my soul and squatting down and squat-peeing into my grave hole for hours and hours, in the end it renewed my desire to live, even if the only reason I have to wake up and locomote my beaten and dessicated body out into the world in the morning is the small chance I might get to punch Michael Cole in the mouth some day. Some day.... I'm writing all of this during the main event, which is so boring that this is what I'm doing while it's on. This and literally looking at review of the tactical LED flashlight that you deep fry and then feed to an alligator and then roll over the alligator with a truck wheel and then when the dying alligator poops out the tactical LED flashlight, it will still melt the retinas of any intruder when you focus down the beam to a tiny dot. The reviews are pretty good. Let this chronicle be a warning to any and all who might stumble into this show. It is not your friend. It is poison. Oh, Roman Reigns won. Okay. Cool. My grave hole is getting warmer. Nice. Oh my god, now two dummies are going to describe all of this for money on a thing I'm paying them for and I'm going to watch it because I am a fucking brain dead slug. All in all, this was a great experience, guys!

Season 2 of the Edge and Christian show is currently being filmed.

Perfect troll tweet.

I really thought that was Undertaker for a minute there.

If I had any of those Fangoria pins or especially a full set of Fright Flicks cards I would die a happy man. The Fright Flicks cards -- can you imagine any other world than the American late '80s where somehow those were socially permissible to give to little kids?! Well...

Since we're posting backlash gifs...

I was thinking more Eddie Izzard.

He just name-checked Bobby Heenan and said this doofus Talking Smack guy will never talk like him. I think I just felt Miz's baby kick in my uterus. Guys, Miz just impregnated me through Talkin Smack.

THEN WHY DID U ALMOST CORPSE< RUSEV DAY????? WHY DID YOU ALMOST CORPs!!!!?????

When arguably the two best high flyers on the planet are baffled by how you did a spot...

As I promised, my 2013 interview with Jim Cornette. https://t.co/dP5boNVu6R Jim was great, but this is not my best work. Maybe I was nervous, but I know I could have done way better.

Joe is a guy who if you give him any time will get over. He could be put in another feud with Brock and people would buy it.

and knives and guns or so they say

Joe can lose every night and be credible. Former TNA guys are very durable, like how Rasputin was immune to poison.

And I will go all in with we are owned by the Wilponzis.

as someone who loved Because The Internet and was lukewarm on Awaken My Love, this single alone makes me excited for whatever Gambino is planning

Stan Hansen had a great elbow drop, but this is the only gif I could find of one. The Cactus Elbow wasn't the prettiest, but it is pretty iconic.

Yeah, I think it helped Tyson Kidd a lot when he went down there a few years ago. He was never going to light the main roster on fire, given his size, but he did develop a fun heel persona down there and was working some good matches when he got hurt.

My wife's boss tours with the Walker Stalker con as a tattoo artist, so he gets a bunch of those horror nerd box services for free. She brought home some neat stuff he had doubles of.

I will call, as Puig crashed into the wall in SF and is also on the DL, and Rich Hill has an infected finger and had his start today skipped.

Raptors winning 59 games but then getting swept by LeBron and Kyle Korver is unbelievable.

But as a counterargument Jordan never carried teams that were absolute garbage the way LeBron has. If he gets this team to the finals it may be the most mind blowing thing a player has ever done since possibly the Wilt 100 point game, and that was just one game.

A running one-hander off the goddamn glass. I mean...fuck. He, like, said hi to Tim Duncan, Kareem, and Jordan on that one. And that's the best I can come up with, because it might be wrong. I just can't really explain it and do it justice. Fucking BEAUTIFUL. That shot reminds you why you watch basketball.

I've been binge watching old Roseanne episodes and Psych on Amazon Prime. Watched a few movies, like the new Power Rangers, The Big Sick, etc. on there too. I don't know about the Playstation app for Prime, but the one on the Xbox One doesn't have a bad interface at all. Easy to navigate. I mentioned it in the May wrestling discussion thread, but Amazon Prime is where I was watching old episodes of 90s Memphis TV. Their wrestling selection is really limited, but I think you'd probably enjoy some of that stuff. Greatest Heroes/Villains comps, etc. I think it's worth it, personally.

Noah's bad blood with NJPW stems from the Noah crew doing the sale to estbee behind NJPW's back. NJPW owned a small part of the old Noah ltd. When it was sold to the new ltd..the trademarks and etc moved to estbee, while the old ltd was made defunct which NJPW partly owned. NJPW wanted NOAH as a sub-brand. But without the aid of Bushiroad.

Very funny WWE meets Avengers: Infinity War:

No love for Paul Orndroff's elbow drop

Looks like Ozzy if you squint just a little.

Depending on your love of niche labels, CR5218 gets you 30% off all Code Red titles at Screen Archives. I've gotten Code Red releases for Shakma (which seems ideal for @piranesi to review), Nail Gun Massacre, Cut-Throats 9, Moonshine County Express (John Saxon!), Hands of Steel (John Saxon!), Dead Pit, and Beyond the Door. I didn't see Black Gestapo, which is unfortunate. Shipping kinda sucks, but again, niche releases. Sale ends May 9th.

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Bases never get as much credit as they deserve for mind-blowing state of the art work. Because they aren't the ones doing the mind blowing state of the art moves. Nevermind the fact that you can't do that shit without someone taking it, and taking it safely for both you and themselves. Nevermind that they normally have to do the job of filling in the moments between those "MBSOTAM" in order to actually have a match. Glamour Girls vs The Jumping Bomb Angels matches are great because both teams brought their end to the table and held it up. The real shame is how little WWF women's tag division stuff there is.

Bingo. That was rough. Also, I'm not trying to pile on Joss Whedon but I was listening to a pod on The Ringer earlier and they made a great point. The Russos found ways to up the tension in a lot of these scenes so they don't just come off like "oh here's another city blowing up." The scene where it gets all quiet and the camera follows Tony outside and the aftermath was chilling as fuck.. like a horror movie. They said it made Avengers look like a B movie basically. I won't go that far but I understand it. Avengers Infinity War is an impossible movie to make and not only did the Russos make it.... it was excellent. That's why it's in my top 3.

By far the best Iron Man solo film and it's still in my top five MCU Movies.

I think I like hers more than Savage's, TBH. It looks like a blade coming down to chop you in half.

I wouldn't hate that as long as Nakamura starts singing "Time is On My Side".

Face Rollins is world's better than Authority puppet, chickenshit heel champion Rollins. Rollins was miscast as the guy to sellout to the Authority. It should have always been Roman. Roman never had the personality to be Hogan or Cena.

So that's what vertigo looks like ...

To me, Alexa is so good, I don't even see her as an act. I feel that's her. And that's the best compliment you can give a wrestler.

LIVE from Bizzaro World!!!