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I'm picturing Paige getting so pissed that she storms into Vince's office and calmly starts taking one adderall pill at a time until he has to suspend her.

We know she did not test positive for melanin.

If that was true Lawler would have had at least 5 wellness violations.

Why not Zoidberg?

This is the greatest block in the history of our sport!

I have some WW2 hygiene videos for you to watch

Why not both?

Heath may try and invoke the West Virginia superior court precedent of "I hearn it with my own two ears!"* but unfortunately for him the incident took place in Texas and as such is covered by Texas statute 59.d4.a which reads: "You din't make your legal mark, you got no grievance but with the Lord." Guys, I think he's screwed unless he can get a change of venue. *Footnote: West Virginia appeals court amended this ruling to include the following ("applies even where to wit they ain't got none or but one ear.")

The fuck you will.

Pol Pot is Vince's idea of a revolutionary heel.

I had no idea peeing in a cup could reveal that you're sleeping with a woman 15 years younger than you while ignoring your family in Mexico.

Are the two words "Euclidian relation"?

Cubsfan is a hero.

Fucking blasphemy. Gorshin is the only Riddler.

If Paige is Bevis, what does that make Del Rio?

HA! In trying to fix TerjeRUN's post - I learned that Tony Schiavone blocked the DVDVR Twitter account

I thought we were listing credible guys to beat Lesnar and not guys for him to devour whole and shit back out. In his big money fight Mayweather never even bothered to try to budge a past-his-prime opponent fighting with a torn rotator cuff. Now I want to see a shoot between them where Mayweather is equipped with brass knucks for both hands so he can get in enough shots to enrage Brock to the point of the Beast ripping off both of his arms and soaking the live spectators in arterial spray like some shit out of The Story of Riki-Oh.

I kind of love that the 30 year old Dean Ambrose can call the 36 year old Dolph Ziggler, who's been with the company as long as Dean has been in wrestling, "Sonny boy" and it works because Dolph still looks like the brat high-school son of the local town big shot and Dean looks like he spent a few nights rolling doobies to .38 special in a Dairy Queen parking lot in Youngstown which would make him about 55 unless he was doing that last night, which as I think about it isfairly likely.

How cool is my girlfriend? She threw me a Fallout themed birthday party. All the stuff you see in the pictures below she made herself (pics spoilered for size):

The real bitch of it is that since Heath won he didn't even get the $1000. But I kind of love that out of all both rosters, Heath Slater is the guy who is so important that they need him to travel for both live shows every week.

Bromance

According to Dario Cueto, Del Rio's career is in the toilet so it's pretty reasonable he's someone who needs TP for his bunghole. Was it ever confirmed that Paige and Del Rio were actually a thing and not just a Total Divas angle? I remember that being widely rumored, especially since by all accounts Del Rio was still married. But it's not like wrestlers are known to be the most faithful people.

Oh, he's failed many times. Failing a wellness policy, specifically, well, that's a while other thing...

hahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

If you ain't down with the Pythagorean theorem, AJ's got two words for ya.

We live in a world where Heath Slater and Eva Marie are the 2 of the better gimmicks in the WWE right now. Not sure if that is the sign of the apocalypse but amazing none the less

The best thing on Smackdown - Non-Heath Slater division

Too bad they're splitting up the Dudley Boyz. Rowan getting kicked out of (what's left of) the Wyatts, then showing up on Raw in camo because he misunderstands what kind of family the Dudleys are and wants to join a new cult would be strangely amusing.

Credible win against Lesnar? Why not Rusev?

No

I feel like it's also an extra fuck you to Justin Gatlin, which I appreciate.

This should be a nice palate cleanser after The Killing Joke. I can't wait.

That'll put a lot of butts in tweets! ....ehh, that was terrible.

'Tis true, Heyman is a magic genie who transformed a Lego man into Mike Tyson.

Still wishing there's a way to automatically like anything Nakamura does. Now wishing the same can be done for #Gloriousbomb.

How about Danzig?

'Taker looks like Seinfeld that time he was canoodling with his girlfriend and he saw the pilot (that just kicked him off his flight) pass by his hotel room.

Naomi has the best entrance in wrestling. Period.

Shane's a dick

I didn't think anything tonight would top Ziggler telling Ambrose he wants to "kick his head off his face" but then you had JBL hyping Eva Marie's debut by shouting "EVA MAGREEE!" so here we are.

Are we never going to get Nick Nolte as the extra-shitfaced Colonel passed out on the dinner table with a half eaten chicken breastess hanging out of his mouth? Apparently not before Dolph dickhead Ziggler further dilutes the role.

Heath will get one of the biggest reactions of SummerSlam weekend if he comes out during NXT TakeOver and asks Hunter for a job.

So we can now claim Chono as an American, since he was born in Seattle.

For those that missed it - Big E was live tweeting during the show (some of the highlights)