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"FOLLOW THE BUZZARDS" "WHAT?" "I SAID, FOLLOW THE BUZZARDS......TO ONNIT DOT COM SLASH STEVE TO GET YOUR DISCOUNT, YOU MIGHT BE THINKING HELL SON, I'M A MESSIANIAC CULT LEADER ADONIS, I DON'T NEED NO T-PLUS, I'M ALREADY AS SATANIC AS IT IS....."

John Cena heel turn that involves hooking up with Stephanie, and Stephanie trying to convince HHH into a three way relationship, guilting him over Kurt. Cena then becomes depressed over the constant "You can't wrestle" chants, HHH then offers to show him some holds, only for Stephanie to walk in on him showing her an abdominal stretch, ala Trish. Stephanie then leaves them both for the two Bella twins, who then form PMS 2000, along with a repackaged Daniel Bryan who is given a Sean Stasiak tribute gimmick and renamed Tofu. CM Punk disapproves of the gay union between HHH and John Cena, and reforms the Totally Straight Edge Society, before tying John Cena to a rainbow "symbol" to end an episode of RAW, and creates an unholy alliance with The Wyatt family, being backwater Southerners who also disapprove of dem gays. The angle then devolves into a "doth protest too much" focus on Bray Wyatt who becomes wrestling's first real Bear in wrestling....exposing the prejudiced attitudes of the locker room afraid of locking up with a gay man. Him and Darren Young form an unlikely dancing duo tag team.

He's right there on the spine. So it's not like they forgot about him. Man, that's a lot of space to give a guy who bombed so hard as a main eventer. On the other hand, the WWE keeps employed a tattooed little skinny-fat guy with a terrible Macho Man elbow who was the worst bomb as WWE Champion since Diesel, so truly we can see that this company is supportive even of its failures. Orton doesn't do an elbow drop.

They should repackage Kofi in a mask as Kofi Kwangston.

The Bellas can get new fiances. You can only get Strahan's autograph once, jeez people.

You do know if the "Fans" continue to rebel with these Daniel Bryan chants during Cena segments, Vince will just "Zack Ryder" his momentum. Which I think is what they are doing with the abduction angle. Daniel Bryan is going to return clean-shaven, hand his beard trimmings to Stephanie, and declare his support for what is best for business. Then, he will be rockin' a suit as junior director of operations, answering every yes or no question with "maybe".

Spoliered for size...and sheer awesomeness!

Or Yoshi Tatsu.

This is just a personal preference b/c I like punkers more than blondes, but imagine the increased hotness of shaved head Trish, with mascara running down her cheeks and a switchblade instead of a microphone, in that outfit.

I'm a bit late to the party on the whole Miz as champion debate, but I wanted to add a personal story as to why Miz winning the title will always stand out for me. My brother, who was a poster on this board (SgtPepper9876), was intensely anti-Miz. Couldn't stand him I always told him to get used to used to him, because I had a feeling he'd be around awhile, and I was certain that at some point he'd win the WWE championship. This idea was insane to my brother.......he just thought the idea was ludicrous. We would constantly debate it.....more just brothers goofing off and having fun than anything, but also me believing it and him really not being a Miz fan. My brother passed away on November 17th, 2010. His funeral was Monday November 22nd, 2010. I came home that day from the funeral and sat down and watched Raw on the DVR.......I needed to get my mind somewhere else and we both watched Raw religiously on Mondays, so it was a decent way to cope. Well, of course, Monday 11-22-10 was the night Miz won the WWE championship......the night of my brother's funeral....my brother who swore it would never happen. I remember distinctly laughing out loud, saying out loud "Well I'll be goddamned", and then having a decent cry while smiling at the same time. Looking back it's a very surreal and vivid memory.

If she doesn't care why should I. That in a nutshell is everything that's wrong with WWE: there is no emotion and nothing is treated seriously. More on the "if she doesn't care, why should I?" front: I guess after Eva Marie got eliminated at the PPV, she was celebrating on her way out. And Meltzer is saying that it wasn't just Eva Marie being dumb; that's actually what WWE wants them to do. They want them to play their character as they leave the ring rather than acting disappointed that they lost. We need you to be a smarter, sexier Bushwhacker Luke, if that's even possible.

If you hurt your head in a match, don't worry. WWE has a rigorous concussion testing protocol which consists of asking you if you're OK.

Meanwhile, Ben Askren isn't good enough to be signed by UFC.

And yet here I sit, not booking Mark Henry to unite the titles.

He just looks a little more physically animated there than usual where he's just yelling his ass off. And his voice is for real. You can hear what he's saying in the nosebleed section of the UC. I think my favorite thing he does is disgustedly say "godDAMN" whenever someone like Boozer fucks up, or they shit the bed after a time out. He's one of my favorite coaches ever, and I never want him to leave.

Austin stunners the Wyatts to hell. He helps Bryan up, Bryan refuses a beer and ask for a V8 and he gets stunnered too.

Next time on Total Divas: JoJo gets Baned

The way they were careful to say "Both titles on the line" instead of "Unification match" makes me think Cena and Orton are just switching belts. Also: RING CREW EXPRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That opening segment really encapsulated the state of WWE right now. Crowd cheering for the start of the show. "Ladies and gentleman, the WWE champion: Randy. Orton!" Moderate reaction, as much for the show starting as anything else, slowly dimming as Orton ambles down to the ring at a glacial pace. H and Steph come out. Reaction is eh. They talk some, crowd starts chanting for Daniel Bryan. They keep talking. "Yes" chant. They give the crowd Cena vs Orton, and later Bryan will get beat down and kidnapped by the Wyatts.

1st offense should be 100 hours listening to Tim McCarver and Bob Costas' recorded responses to Peter Gammons' commentary to a series of poems writen by George Will after watching Ken Burns' baseball documentary. The 100 hours can be spread out over up to five weekends but you do not set foot on a field or listen to music or read or watch anything on t.v. until the 100 hours are completed. Go ahead, gentlemen, test it out. I'm sure you'll beat the system.

Man, JBL had some great lines tonight. Like when JBL was protesting about Woods dancing with the Funkadactyls saying "Brodus can't be happy right now" and Cole said "Who cares about Brodus?" and JBL said "You sound like the WWE universe!"

They should just have it end in some bullshit finish and do a 1992 Rumble where the winner gets the belts.

UFC on FOX 10 adds Pascal Krauss vs. Adam Khaliev. TUF 18 Finale adds Jessamyn Duke vs. Peggy Morgan.

"There is only one team, in the history of Professional Wrestling/Sports Entertainment that can unite the powers of the two biggest Trolls on the DVDVR Message Board. The team of The Best and the Beard. Two years of Trolling, now combined into one superstar team. They're here!"

I don't think it has to be smarky fans to not be into the Orton/Show match. It was a fine match, but if they don't care, they don't care. The entire crowd didn't seem to care about the whole match. Not just the "smart" fans. Don't give me "if they don't care, they don't care". These "fans" don't care. But judging by the ratings, and the reaction from the TV crowds those real fans do care.I'm just glad Vince never really gives in to these smark crowds, or else Ryder would be a main eventer. LOL @ "real fans". The fuck does that even mean? Considering how much the tickets to that shitshow must have been, I can't really call anyone who doled out their money to go a "fake fan". And yet they don't act like "fans". They act like animals trying to selfishly put the attention on themselves while the Superstars bust their asses for them. And for what? So they can chant boring. Or even worse chant the name of a Superstar who isn't even in the main event anymore. Throw in a "boys in the back" mention and this could be a Cyrus promo from ECW on TNN.

The worst thing is all the idiots who upload their Smackdown vs Raw versions of this week's matches (but still use a picture of the real match as the video ID). ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH,

"ERICK ROWAN, GOT DAMN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO WORK OUT YOUR BRAIN, HAVE YOU NOT BEEN KEEPING UP ON YOUR LUMOSITY? IT'S BASED ON THE SCIENCE OF NEUROPLASTICITY" "WHAT" "I SAID IT, NEUROPLASTICITY, LUMOSITY GIVES YOU CUSTOMIZED ONLINE WORKOUTS, IT'S LIKE GAMES, IT ONLY TAKES A FEW MINUTES A DAY, YOU'LL BE MORE FOCUSED IN THE RING.. HMM I LOVE IT.. I'M THINKING LIKE A DAMN SCIENTIST, TELL THEM YOU HEARD IT FROM ME, STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN THE LEADER OF THE WYATTS"

Nope. There are rumors he'll go straight to the main roster soon.

I am also giddy as to how TNA will totally ignore Kurt Angle doing something with arguably the most popular musical act on the planet right now

Man, Luongo may finish the season at a sub .900 SV% at this rate. Canucks are consistently outshooting their opponents but can't buy a win. God, I hope TSN losing its NHL rights means Cuthbert replaces that shithouse Lee for the West coast games.

casting a vote for "John Cena, Corporate Champion"... leading to Cena/Orton/Show at Royal Rumble. Proven draws baby

And? They're just some kind of blue. Where's the blood splatter?

The Integer Menu just didn't do as well in focus groups.

As much as I like the Shield, and Bryan, and the Wyatts, and Mark Henry, and Big E... nothing to see here. Even Big Show selling a concussion unless it gets serious. Not excited about anything going forward and I'm usually one of more positive people about WWE on here.

I miss the 90s so bad, man. And I was 14 when they ended.

As viral marketing campaigns go, this isn't too bad: http://www.thebentbullet.com/#!/home Possibly in poor taste given the recent 50th anniversary but whatever.

Possibly cutting a duet album together based on the success of this solo one: http://www.amazon.com/McCarver-Sings-Selections-American-Songbook/dp/B002OJGGH6 The Most Helpful Customer Reviews for that CD are brilliant

There has to be footage of Teddy flipping a cat turd with a spatula.

At least we have the second season to remember for its greatness.

I'm amazed this hasn't been posted yet.

Sting.

It's only awesome if you haven't met many Europeans before?

Love Austin asking the john stossel question again.

I'll be honest. Whenever I see an old as fuck lady trying to slap a wrestler, I think "Damn, he is good at his job."

Someone at a signing in Dublin got The Shield to sign this: