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All I know is that our 10 year old is PISSED at HHH and The Shield. He's been watching wrestling for just over a year now, and I've never seen him get actually ANGRY at wrestling before. Last week when DB got beat up, he looked like the Miz Girl. Even when talking about it the next day he got all angry. When DB finally gets his revenge, he will mark out like mad, and it will be awesome.

Did I watch the same show as everyone? I thought this was terrific.

Who was Fred Kryptonite on the old board? There's no way someone just signed up for the new board with that much derp power behind him.

Repackage him along with Darsow's son. Call them Axel and Smashel.

Well...they were right eventually.

RAW threads were more fun when I didn't read them.

So you're saying they'd go...Buck wild?

He's the guy who does everything the company asks as far as personal appearances and all that. And he's a really good guy, listen to him on Cabana's show.. he really comes off as a great guy. That being said he needs to be a heel.

I love the idea of calling Randy Orton the New Face of the WWE. It's awesome trolling, and they totally got people.

There is no such thing as a rhetorical question on a wrasslin' message board. The correct answer is always, "Hey, fuck off, asshole!"

If I had a signature, this would be it.

Please follow up on this. I'll probably know because my lifeforce is largely renewed by the power of children marking out for pro wrestling, but I'd still like to hear about it. Seth needs tons of love, but really everybody in the Shield does. The slow burn with them has been good. Everyone complained about them feeling like "just another group" the last few months, but I think it was 1/2 "we dropped the ball with a long term plan" and 1/2 "go out there and keep these titles warm, have good matches, build your championship legacy, and we'll have something special for you soon". I know nobody ever wants to give them credit for anything that works out, especially in the midst of it working out apparently, but none of the titles feel squandered to me and I think I know why. Everyone gets "butthurt" (that's for you McLargeHuge) over non-title matches and especially non-title losses by champions. For a group of old schoolers who spend all their free time pouring through VHS cassettes of Florida and Memphis matches I can understand the reaction. But the new 24/7, 365 schedule of the company, coupled with the total product awareness of the fanbase don't allow for the absolutes of territorial booking. Consider "legitimate" sports - a slippery slope, I know. Now this won't be apples to apples exactly, as most will be much more inclined to compare to boxing and MMA, but the schedule of the 'E is more like an NBA or MLB season that never stops. Do the Heat win every game they play, even when it's not for the NBA championship? No, but they do win a lot of them. But as long as they're "good enough" to make it to the championship game(s), then they get to have an opportunity to win the championship. Those games, with it all on the line, are the ones that matters. The announcers actually do a pretty nuanced job of getting this general idea over in different ways. Even last night it was RVD gets a chance at the PPV for the title, but only if he wins now. So it's like an elimination game, and the only way to win the big one later is to stay in it now. Nobody complains that "the Ravens stole the Steelers heat" because they beat them in the regular season and now nobody wants to see them in the Divisional round of the playoffs. Fuck off. They just want to see it even more. I think there are a lot more people who are conditioned to that today than conditioned to some antiquated notion of slow builds and unique matchups. I realize this is not some unique and important revelation, but it became crystal clear to me as I realized that I've been watching, and enjoying, and looking forward to the next, Christian/RVD/ADR match for over a month now. All three are guys I could occassionally FF past without a second thought. So yes, from someone who actually has watched 90% of the programming this year (and for years) and not just skimmed it, or read results before posting wildly intense opinions, the show is pretty fucking awesome. What they are actually doing is filling the show with a ton of new exciting faces, and giving them time to do their thing. They're featuring excellent in-ring quality, highlighting some extremely promising individuals, and even Triple fucking H is doing the best dickhead heel schtick in a long, long time. (spoiler alert, it's because they're going to make DB a huge fucking star.) My mid-show text to my best wrestling friends, "wrestling is the hot fucking tits again." They were both enjoying the show.

No. What I'm guessing happened here guys is that when Big Show turned face he realized that an iron clad contract is not a fair thing for a giant monster to have. It makes him TOO powerful and makes it harder for him to retain his humanity and relate to common, mortal men. So he destroyed the contract (I assume by KO punching it until it broke into base elements) and then signed a new, standard WWE contract. This will probably all be explained in a flashback on the next episode of Superstars.

If Ryback wears a derby and a sweater like Bully Busick did, Ryback'll have to get a manager named Chester that hops around him like a hamster on ludes and asks him if he wants to go play video games or go to the mall. Then Ryback will just reply "Neh," and backhand pimp smack the shit out of Chester.

HEY GUYS DID ANYONE MENTION BIG SHOW HAVING AN IRON CLAD CONTRACT YET

No they were chanting "Walrus", and the crowd was eating that segment up. You're the worst.

I may have been dreaming, but I swear two of these pages featured griping about Swagger's treatment like he was Benoit back in '98. Swagger is fucking awful. He looks and sounds like a doofus, is so stiff when he's moving around, his offense doesn't look all that credible for his size and at the same time, he bumps around like he should weigh about 100 lbs. more than he does. I'd have an easier time buying Swagger if he was fatter or gassed up, but as it is, he's just super awkward. If I was a geneticist though, I would somehow combine Swagger's height, gas tank, and smarmy attitude with Ryback's bulk, power move set, and pink eye.

Please follow up on this. I'll probably know because my lifeforce is largely renewed by the power of children marking out for pro wrestling, but I'd still like to hear about it. As for me, my four year old son Daniel LOVES John Gina and Daniel Bright. He is MAD at people being mean to Daniel Bright. When he kept asking "Where's John Gina?" I told him he's home hurt. "He's got a boo boo?" "Yes son, a big one on his elbow."

I might have to avoid the weekly RAW threads until Bryan gets the title back, lest I stroke out. Seriously, some of you guys are actually worried about Bryan getting "buried" when he's actually getting a Jesus Push? Daniel Bryan is dying for the sins of the WWE Universe in rejecting the McMahon's vision, and he'll be resurrected with the WWE title. The faces not helping is to set Bryan's "I don't give a shit if I get fired" attitude apart. Does anyone really think Big Show, Ziggler, or Miz want to wrestle in high school gyms and theme parks? If the faces bum-rushed the ring, most of you would be bitching that everything was hot-shotted. Big Show's "iron clad" contract expired, so he signed a new one with a more competant negotiator. There. There will be a babyface revolt (which will hopefully finally lead to some elevation for a few guys) but you have to let that shit build. Fuck, some of you guys are as bad as the people on CRZ's board who were predicting doom and gloom for Voldemort even after HE FUCKING WON THE RUMBLE FROM THE NUMBER ONE SPOT! Going to stop here. I think one of my eyes is twitching.

I love that the first few pages of this thread are almost always negative. It's funny how some care so damn much about Raw that they just have to watch it live (despite how easy it is to skip the stuff you aren't interested in), but they absolutely 100% hate everything about it at the same time. Of course there are a few who are skipping the show AND hating it. So strange. Call me an optimist or whatever, but that was just a really fun pro wrestling show. -AJ's slight pause after "suck" was fucking hysterical. Great promo. No clue where they are going with it, but I'm game. -HHH is so perfect at this. His lines are even better when I think about how badly some of you will take it. Orton is a pretty damn good bad guy, too. Shit-eating grin > the Orton pose. -Bryan continues to be bat-shit crazy in the ring. He doesn't have to be the smartest babyface because he is a fucking 5-8 reincarnation of the Ultimate Warrior. No one can fire up like he can. All this "the booking will kill him" talk is baffling to me. The man is 1. A HEAT MAGNET 2. A deranged killing-machine that will fucking destroy you. -Whoever said this version of Face Punk is a complete turn around from the last version is 100% correct. Fired up Punk really plays well. The segment went long, but the little moments with Heyman and Punk really made it. I think it's really smart to keep the Punk and Bryan stories separated at this point. Orton/Christian was fine, but they for sure have something better in them. The matches from a few years ago were great, but I always thought they would play better with the heel/face alignment switched so that was kind of cool to see. They should steal stuff from WWE.com more often because there is a bunch of cool promo work on there. Other than that, not really interested in RVD/Del Rio or the Miz/Fandango/Cody stuff so, guess what, I skipped that stuff!!! Want to hear something even crazier? I don't have an opinion about those segments, either.

Seriously, the whole "they're gonna bury Bryan" stuff is just silly. Do ya really think they don't hear the crowds?

Four days of having a smart phone, and already I wonder how I lived without it.

But instead we'll get, "From Dublin, Ireland weighing in at 220 lbs., Dweezel Jermajesty!"

I vote we have two separate threads for Raw. One to contain Gonzalez's blatant stupidity, and the other is for the rest of us.

Of course we care, but we know that it will be three or four months before Bryan gets the belt. Fans will be more into the angle if Bryan chases Orton. That's classic Southern booking. There simply aren't enough upper card heels to Hogan-book Bryan, put the title on him in three weeks, and have him face off against the Special Guest Villain of the Month until Cena is healthy. Bryan won't get a title run until about two or three months before Cena returns to action. Bryan's going to win the title at some point. That makes sense for HHH to blame Orton who then can turn back. Then you need the replacement heel, which should get done via a betrayal for maximum success. The Miz, as someone pointed out, would be the best man for the job. It gives Bryan "you're only here because of the Real World" material. And even though the Miz is pretty average in the ring, Bryan could carry me to a MOTYC at this point.I also would love to see Wade Barrett worm his way up the corporate ladder somehow. There's a reason why he and Bryan have had a lot of matches with each other, including in a throwaway cage match on Smackdown. He's a perfect sniveling coward. It also mirror's HHH run -- Wade came in leading a rebellion and now completely sold out in order to get a chance at the belt. He's taken a lot of losses but he's a feud with Christian (perfectly as an upper-card face and recognizable name to get a new-ish guy over) away from being taken seriously. ADR might also work, too. He's a great face of the company and even prettier than Orton.

The Swaggie is still delicious, though.

I'm with FSW. It's a TV show, who cares if its not 100% true in its depiction of the Mexican cartel. If you want to talk unrealistic it's dealers wanting to sell 100% pure meth. It wouldn't make sense to sell it like that. What are you worried a meth head might give your product a negative review on yelp?

I want to throw my name in the "I am fond of skinny, crazy white women" hat. I think that what annoys me the most is most women going "She's disgusting" and the whole Taylor Swift acting super catty just puts it over the top. Women on women hate is awful.

While I couldn't disagree with you more, I do appreciate you not using the word "butthurt."

Her butt is nowhere round enough for any self respecting dude I know to find her attractive. That, and she is fucking crazy. Didn't she do an ep of Hannah Montana where she tried the bad girl image out and faced huge backlash and condemnation from her true supporters? Did she not learn anything from her own goddamned television show? The winner here is Selena Gomez who gets edgy in increments and is actually a pretty cute kid. Miley's smile takes up half of her face and her head is too big for her neck. Everytime she grins and sticks her toungue out, I think she is about to dispense a huge piece of Pez candy. One our our esteemed board members said that Devon Aoki looked like a Grey with Down's Syndrome. I think that also applies here.

He can finally get that solid gold house he always wanted! Henceforth, eight hundred billion dollars will be known as 'Ben Affleck money'.

Don't worry, Daniel Bryan has allotted several minutes in every promo he cuts now to suck up to John Cena. I don't blame him. There's no one currently around that'll help him. He shouldn't have spent the last year being a dick to everyone because he had an inferiority complex about being the "weak link." Or maybe the faces should actually have a backbone. I mean, they had the balls to do a walkout on HHH because they're scared of THE MIZ and R-TRUTH...but this petrifies them?

This show gave me an sense that there's going to be a build to a team HHH (probably Orton and Shield) vs Danielson, Christian, and Show/Henry for Survivor Series.

You give Cesaro shit, he produces gold. That's how you eventually get a push.

It's a bit awkward listening to the ten year old daughter of my best friend singing along to a song about Ecstasy and Cocaine.

Well, I hate the whole ask a black dude aspect of this, but I'll comment. I find this whole thing fucking retarded. If Miley Cyrus had an ass, I'd be cool with it, but unfortunately she suffers from a severe case of Nassatol that makes this whole thing kind of sad. If you think that Miley Cyrus shaking her ass is some sort of offensive theft of black culture, I'm going to have to disagree. I constantly get into these retarded conversations about how hip-hop is destroying the black community. How white people are stealing hip-hop, and all types of other bullshit. The issue that I have is based on the fact that hip-hop is probably the most culturally diverse artistic movement in history. Yet, somehow we turned every conversation about hip-hop into some sort of equivalency to black culture as a whole. The issues that people have with black culture always seem to get attributed to hip-hop when in my experience the two things are not even remotely related. Twerking is something that has been going on for a while now, but absolutely no one(other than me and my fellow pervs) gave a rat's ass when it was going on in a rap video. But when this little skinny white chick, with a -3 on the booty to back differential scale, does it it is somehow an affront to the culture. I think people's issue with Miley has more to do with Miley being the former Disney star with a country singer for a father than her robbing black people of their culture. Somehow the same people who argue that these dances are causing the destruction of the black family, want to take ownership of the dance once someone else does it. She isn't stealing black culture, she is taking part of something that wasn't exclusive to one group in the first place. I'm only offended by the fact that it used to be a dance done exclusively by women with nice asses, and she is fucking it up for everyone.

Steamboat was in 80's WWF, he was on steroids.

It's because they like crowds to actually be there at both the start and the end of the game for these things.

Sorry to bring Ted back up, but I just think it's funny I kind of dug Ted Jr. a lot in NOAH, but could not give one shit about him in WWE. I'd always sing during his entrance. He comes from money/ he comes from class/ I'm skipping forward/ to the next match.

From the Guardian:

So, things had been rather bad around my house this year. Me and my mom live together, and we pull our money and plan to do that until we don't have to anymore. Well, last year, we were looking in good shape in reguards that we were totally caught up on house and car payments, and I was starting to put together plans to go to community college, and all that jazz... and then the company my mom works for cut her hours drastically 3 weeks before Christmas... and told her "they had no more work for her" the day after Christmas. And then contested her unemployment (which we did get, but it made it so that our January was complete hell) This, naturally, cut us back a bit, especially since I'm a retail worker, and January leads to no hours whatsoever. We managed to keep our house and car... but at the expense of just about everything else. Our water was shut off March 1st. Our electric was shut off March 2nd. Neither have been back on since. Our Gas wasn't on to begin with, but that's a different story. So it's been 8 months, with me and my mom both looking for a legitimate "No.1" job, filling out applications and having little luck. A few interviews here and there, and then nothing. Then, last week, someone contacted my mom, saying they found an old resume she posted on Monster, saying she loved her resume, and brought her in for an interview. It went really well. They said they'd call her back on Wednesday. No call. We were volunteering at a local "Wing Ding" on Thursday, as since we've had nothing else to do with our free time, me and my mom have gone into A: Charity Work and B: Tennis, when my mom called just to make sure on the entire thing, when they told her "If you wouldn't mind waiting, can we call you back in a couple hours". Yes. She got the job. We are euphoric, since she's gonna be getting paid more per week then she was at her last job, she'll get paid every week, and a bunch of other good stuff about it. Much optimism in our house. Which is new.

Because Triple H is a hardcore(in the non-blood and guts way) wrestling fan, and fans treat him like shit, while Mick Foley, who just so happened to elevate Trips to another level, gets all the love for stunt work. All Trips wants is to be invited to the nerd party, and talk about Harley Race matches and Andre the Giant Holograms. But no he gets spit on, and so he has some resentment to all the people that do get nerd cred. I mean, what else does he need to do? He set up a special padded ring in his performance center so guys practice flippy shit and missile drop kicks. They even have a professional equivalent of a Wrestle Buddy doll to practice MOOVEZ on. He's clearly 12 year old us on steroids.

Speaking of lolMets: PIT trades Dilson Herrera NYM trades John Buck and Marlon Byrd. Tonight's promotion at Citi Field? Of course, it's Marlon Byrd t-shirt night.

I have no horse in this race, but Kyle Baker does and apparently it's named "Chaplin": http://thebakersanimationcartoons.blogspot.com/2013/08/miley-cyrus-and-charlie-chaplin.html

The threat isn't that if you intervene you will get fired, the threat is that you will be beat down night after night if you get involved. An ironclad contract won't save you from that. That being said, I wish they could do an angle where Show, Henry, etc. get fired for rescuing Daniel Bryan, then show up on Smackdown under masks as new iteration of the Machines.

How the hell are they thin on babyfaces? That's all they have right now who are credible. The heels are the problem since hardly any of them have been protected except The Shield and Orton. Guys like Del Rio are bums right now. At least, since WWE has always been face centric, the fans at least take the faces somewhat seriously. They had six guys who would reasonably be top of the line babyfaces a month ago - Bryan, Kane, Punk, Cena, Sheamus and Orton. Kane was abducted by the Wyatt's and is presumably turning heel, Sheamus and Cena are out with injuries, Orton just turned heel "ace." Of the guys who have been added in you have Ziggler who has shown no real babyface ability and who has done nothing as a babyface of note and Henry and Show who are tagging up. I agree that they are weak on heels too but Del Rio is a whole hell of a lot more credible to me as a main event guy than Ziggler for example and there are guys on the heel side who I could at least theoretically see being elevated with smart booking. Who is going to emerge on the face side? That turd Cody Rhodes?

FUCK YOU, America. If I have to read one more goddamn Facebook status whining about Miley Fucking Cyrus, I swear I'm going ultra-mega-mass-homicide on your asses. Tell me, folks: who choreographed that dance? Who designed that outfit? Who sewed that outfit? Who built the teddy-bear set? Who was producing the show and looked at all of the above during rehearsal and said "...perfect!"? What? You can't tell me any of those answers? What? You're totally full of shit and haven't the first goddamn clue about how the entertainment media works? What? You keep reposting that inaccurate picture of Will Smith and his talentless kids supposedly reacting to Miley, when it was really a reaction shot to Lady Gaga? What? You didn't know that Billy Ray Cyrus has complained for YEARS about how he essentially has no say in his daughter's life because she's so entirely controlled by her micromanaging corporate overlords? What? Buncha useless ignorant whining fucking maggots. Also, complaining about Miley when Robin "Least talented and most sexual-predator-looking superstar in pop music today" Thicke spent half the song dry-humping a girl half his age? Fuck off. I'm beyond tired of this double-standard slut-shaming hypocritical nonsense that everyone always applies to any female celebrity who dared to first become famous when they were a young girl. And FUCK YOU, my college and my fairweather friends and everyone and everything associated with it: 1. My financial aid still hasn't come through yet. 2. Apparently nobody can tell me WHEN it will arrive. 3. The financial aid office has been giving me nothing but a busy signal all day long. (24 busy signals in a row now!) 4. Classes start Wednesday. THIS Wednesday. 48 hours from now. 5. I have no way to get from my home to campus in two days when classes start. Or the next day when classes continue. 6. Even if I did catch an early ride down, I have no way to get back home at the end of the week. 7. And even if I did have a way to get back home, I've got nowhere to stay in the meanwhile. 8. And even if I could fix THOSE issues, I've got no money for textbooks. 9. I've asked for help. Often. From many people. Apparently nobody in the entire world is willing and able to help me. At all. (Except my brother, but there's only so much he can do.)

A lot of shit went away recently. They had 666 horror movies for a while. They added some more and fucked shit up but now it's down to like 620 or so. I'm trying to watch 365 movies by the end of the year(Pacific Rim was the last and was 246). Most come from Netflix so I've watched a lot of horrible shit. Mostly in a good way but not always. Everyone watch Miami Connection while its up or I will hate you forever. Everyone watch The FP and make five friends watch it or you will suffer horrible chain letter death