|
|
Hello, gentle Reader, and welcome to this
universally indie edition of your beloved DVDVR- as we cover the wrestling
from three different continents, wrestling that tell the big boys to shove
it up their asses. Rippa clocks in with the fantab WCW handheld from
back when you could watch it without saying, "What an absolute fucking
waste of talent." Ah the Good ole days... That sexy Motherfucker-
Tony Gancarski- breathes the vapors of US Indie with a South Carolina Indie
bonanza. Schneider tackles the coveted and beloved British TV which
is angle-soaked and Danielsized. Me and Pete tackle to very nonconvergent
ends of the Sleazy Japan Indie Spectrum as I tackle the elegant and beautiful
TORYUMON while Pete gazes at the festering milky underbelly of Japan Indie
World as he clocks in with the ONITA MOTHERFUCKING PRO. Ray wishes
he was immersed with Indie-goodness as he stares straight in the face of
crappy New Japan Juniors stinking up the joint, offsetting all that Lyger,
Hamada and SHOCKER!! Plus the THEME OF THE WEEK, the WRESTLER OF
THE WEEK and the SPIRIT OF SINGLES GOING STEADY but no actual SGS this
week. Sup deep the sweet literary finaglings of PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETE.....
~%~
!@!@!@!@!@!@! ONITA PRO WRESTLING
6-27-99 Korakuen Hall (SAMURAI!)
(POGO PETE STEIN)
It's the first-ever Garbagy Feel-Good portion
of the DVDVR as we take a look at what amounts to Onita's FMW revival shows...
think of them as a puroresu equivalent to those 50s doo-wop band reunion
tours. Actually, "Heroes Of Garbage Wrestling" might be a better analogy...
SAITAMA PRO WRESTLING PRESENTS THIS IS "ZERO":
Survival 3-Way Fucking Dance- REY PANDITA vs. PINCH-HITTER JOE vs.
SURVIVAL TOBITA:
"Hi, my name is Pinch-Hitter Joe and I'll
be your indy scum opening-match wrestler tonight. Our specials this
evening are 3-way lock-ups, some crappy matwork, a general lack of heat
and some REALLY WEIRD shit." Joe and Pandita work together against
Tobita until Pandita turns on Joe and pins him with the Gedo Clutch (accentuated
with cheeky pose). All of a sudden some strange music gets cued up
on the PA and Pandita loses it, running around the building acting like
a monkey. I call an Ape Virgon run-in at this point but instead Tobita
gives Pandita a piledriver and chokes him out at 5:57. This was a
big batch of goofy... well, let's just say it was a big batch of goofy
and move on.
MASANOBU KURISU vs. KENGO TAKAI:
"He chairs, and chairs! And chairs
and chairs and chairs! Chair chair chair, chair chair chair!
The Masa Kurisu Shooooooow!"
FMW Joshi All-Star Match: SHARK TSUCHIYA/CRUSHER
MAEDOMARI/MISS MONGOL/COMBAT TOYODA vs. RIE/TSUPPARI MACK/KILLER IWAMI/EMI
KOIZUMI:
Now *this* is something else... Shark leaves
her cutlery at home for a change as her group becomes the Shiny Happy Mad-Dog
Military. At one point Iwami slaps a Kunze armbar on Crusher, at
which point Shark beckons Yukie Nabeno to hit the ring and take over on
the hold. Later on RIE slaps a rolling cradle on Mongol. Emi
(not *that* Emi...) then comes in but TOTALLY blows it (there's a great
shot of Combat laughing her ass off on the apron), so Shark encourages
RIE to come back in and show Emi how to do the move correctly. This
time she pulls it off and Shark leads the crowd cheers for this.
Shark and Combat then "turn" on each other, and they finally wrap this
shindig up when Nabeno encores with a missile dropkick on Iwami so Shark
can get the pin at 15:23 (no doubt trimmed for a reason on TV). Postmatch
all nine pose for a reunion photo and warm fuzzies are had by all, then
they all get together in the back like they're about to have the world's
strangest pajama party. Not good by any stretch of the imagination,
but entertaining in its own, blemished little way.
FMW 10th Anniversary 6-Man Tag Match:
ATSUSHI ONITA/NISE ONITA/SAMBO ASAKO vs. MASASHI AOYAGI/KATSUJI UEDA/THE
SHOOTER #1:
Two words: Not Good. Sambo needs to
find himself a Bro, Ueda was ancient 10 years ago, and Nise Onita is just
like real Onita... except Onita doesn't suck. HAR HAR! Nise
Onita taps a vein and gets KO'd by Ueda at 9:45 of my life that I'm never
getting back.
Anywhere Streetfight Tag Match: SANSHIRO
TAKAGI/EXCITING YOSHIDA vs. MASAO ORIHARA/THE SHOOTER #2:
YES! The DDT boys invade DVDVR for
the first time, and I get to review it! I'M THE GOD, I'M THE GOD!!!
#2 and Exciting brawl off into the crowd while Orihara and Sanshiro work
a neat spot where they each duck like 5 standing clotheslines before Orihara
finally plants Sanshiro with an elbow. #2 and Sanshiro soon brawl
to the back, where #2 practically bankrupts DDT by sending Sanshiro through
the DDT merchandise table. "Not the 'Sanshiro 3:46' shirts!
AH CRAP! We're in the red!" Before long they're duking it out
on the elevated platform while Exciting and Orihara have it out in the
ring. Orihara whips Exciting to the corner, flips the crowd off and
charges, but Exciting blows mist in his face and takes over. While
all of this is going on Sanshiro gets behind #2 and hits a KILLER German
suplex on the platform for the pin at 11:54. Sanshiro has the greatest
music ever: the Austin "KEE-RASH!" into what IMSMR is Heavy Metal's theme.
Exciting Yoshida... isn't... but Sanshiro seems like a pretty good worker
based on this. LLL member Jon Boy has reached GODHOOD status in my
book based on him apparently finding a Sanshiro shirt in "fat-ass gaijin"
size for me during his Japan trevails...
FOREVER FMW MEMORIAL MATCH: No-Rope
Barbed-Wire Streetfight Tornado Double Hell 8-Man Tag Death Match:
ATSUSHI ONITA/SHIGEO OKAMURA/SAMBO ASAKO/MITSUNOBU KIKUZAWA vs. GENICHIRO
TENRYU/SHOJI NAKAMAKI/ICHIRO YAGUCHI/HIROSHI ONO:
Tenryu comes out looking like "Tenkind,"
wearing a dress shirt and tie for this occasion. Onita and Tenryu
immediately go at it; they each do the "no way you're whipping ME into
the barbed-wire" spot, but Okamura dropkicks Tenryu into the wire to a
funny pop. Tenryu returns the favor by sending Okamura out of the ring
and onto the barbed-wire boards on the floor. Kikuzawa is soon the
next to die at Tenryu's hands, as Tenryu MONKEY-FLIPS him from the ring
to the barbed-wire boards and starts winging chairs at him. Onita
tries to re-do the "piledriver on the table" spot that bombed against Pogo
at the FMW show last fall, and it gets FUBAR'd here too with Nakamaki.
Finally Tenryu and Nakamaki kill Sambo by suplexing him through a table,
but Onita comes back on the entire team with a chair and part of said table.
BURUOFZAWOODSEEFUYAAWEERU! Sambo and Okamura double-team Tenryu after
giving him a stuff piledriver off a chair, but in the meantime Nakamaki
starts to unclip the barbed-wire. Yaguchi and Okamura trade "I'll
try to powerbomb you on the barbed-wire but you'll backdrop me just in
time" spots while Tenryu and Onita brawl on the apron. Tenryu finally
pushes Onita onto the barbed-wire boards while at the same time Yaguchi
wraps the unclipped barbed-wire around Kikuzawa. Tenryu eventually
sends Onita back into the ring, where Yaguchi and Nakamaki give him a double-clothesline
with a strand of barbed-wire (*nasty* garbage spot). Tenryu follows
with the powerbomb but Okamura saves Onita. Kikuzawa (still wearing
the barbed-wire shroud) splashes Ono and Onita gives him the TFPB for a
near-fall while Tenryu proceeds to punch out Okamura in retaliation for
breaking up *his* powerbomb. Yaguchi saves Ono, but Kikuzawa gives
him another splash and Onita gets the pin off another TFPB at 15:42.
Onita does his postmatch schtick for something like 18 hours afterwards.
Overall this is OK for FMW enthusiasts, and the concept is kind of cool. Stick with the DDT boys and the More-surreal-than-Headhunters-using-"Oye-Como-Va"- for-entrance-music womens' match.
~$~
$%$%$%$%$%$%$ UWA Wrestling
Rampage October 1999 (Taped 4/11/99)
(PHIL SCHNEIDER)
This show marked the return of televised
wrestling to England. The wrestling style is more U.S. Indy then British
mat wrestling, but the shows had a fun atmosphere, with the feel of an
old style territory wrestling program.
Show 1
Flying Phil Powers vs. Mad
Dog McPhie:
Phil Powers seems to be the guy they are
really pushing as they describe him as a technical wizard and a spectacular
flyer. He didn’t show me very much in this match, as he looked like
a Bangers and Mash Inferno Kid, complete with unnecessary fringe and mediocre
missile dropkick. Mad Dog McPhie was the token ferocious big guy who didn’t
do much, but had a nice enough german suplex. McPhie was accompanied by
his evil American manager Steve Linksy. Short match with Powers getting
a flash inside cradle for the 1987 WWF Superstars main event ending.
2 Far Gone vs. Death Squad:
2 Far Gone are your generic babyface tag
team, kind of a Kidney Pie Young Stallions, while the Death Squad was your
basic redneck asskicker tag team reinvented as Sheffield soccer thugs.
Iron Duke Lynch sported the full on Jerry Saggs shaved sides mullet, while
Mark Myers had the bad perm, they were big, but in a lots of beer kind
of way, not a weight lifting kind of way. Death Squad had themselves some
decent looking ladies (who didn’t smile, so I couldn’t see their teeth)
at that made them defacto crowd favorites. This was basically a squash,
as the Death Squad beat the young punks like ManU fans who walked into
the wrong pub. Mark Myers did most of the work, and was really stinky,
hitting some Shawn Stasiak level clotheslines, Lynch barely got in so I
imagine how bad he must have been. 2 Far Gone got in a double dropkick
or two, but this wasn’t their day.
Tiger Mask IV vs. Jason Cross:
TMIV came over from Michinoku Pro to fight
for the vacated British Commonwealth title, facing the Union Jack decked
Jason Cross. Tiger Mask IV obviously wanted to do an homage to Tiger Mask
I vs. Dynamite Kid, as he was in full Sayama aping mode, which is a digression
from his recent asskicker persona. Tiger Mask IV looked really crisp doing
the Sayama counters and such, which is a big improvement over 2 years ago,
where he looked more like the Koji Kanemoto Tiger Mask then the original.
Jason Cross ain’t no Dynamite Kid though, while Cross didn’t get smoked
in the exchanges, he looked really ass on offense, including hitting a
sub-Renegade handspring elbow. TMIV kept this together good though, taking
Jason by the hand. The psychology was pretty basic, with a race to the
moonsault, with both guys missing an attempt, before Tiger Mask hits one
for the win. In many ways this was the most impressed I have ever been
with Tiger Mask IV. He has been in much better matches, but here he carried
a worker who was green as Shane Douglas’s urine to a very good match, which
is a lot harder then having good matches with TAKA Michinoku or Great Sasuke.
Big Poppa T vs. Mark Sloan:
Hey this really stunk, Big Poppa T is a
big fat guy in a leather bondage mask who used to be the “body guard for
the President of the Congo” and “was banned from amateur wrestling because
of his violent nature” and “was an ex-Executioner who killed people” and
probably another 2 dozen or so tired 80’s WCCW heel cliché’s . This
match was a total squash, as he no sold all of Mark Sloan’s offense and
got the submission with a texas cloverleaf. Big Poppa really stinks but
he has quite the intriguing gimmick, as he is going for a evil savage black
guy / S+M bondage gimp complete with leather mask and menacing dominatrix
valet. Did they just use the random gimmick generator? What’s next Dirty
White Boy Black Ninja? Exotico Cowboy?
Johnny Storm vs. Paul Sloane:
Paul Sloane is the rookie sensation, kind
of a boiled cabbage Goldberg with the puncher gloves, bald head and spear.
Johnny Storm has the 123 Kidish look with lightning bolts and anorexic
physique. Not much of a match, as it is an excuse for Mad Dog and Phil
Powers run-ins to set up next weeks tag match. Powers did hit an okay little
running plancha.
Show 2
Hot Stuff Stevie Knight vs.
Jody Flash:
The match was scheduled to be Stevie Knight
vs. Anarchist Doug Williams but the evil Steve Linsky comes out and tells
the Anarchist that he has to save his energy for Christopher Daniels. Jody
Flash ( who wrestled in the Michinoku Pro Mask League as Dokko Chan, and
may be the most pectacular high flyer in the world) then petitions the
fossilized commissioner for the shot, and we have Flash v. Knight. This
is a Stevie Knight squash with Jody playing bump boy, including taking
a backdrop driver, released german suplex and a running liger bomb, Flash
takes almost every bump right on his neck, and definitely proves his insanity.
Knight looked good, employing a pretty 90’s offense with crispness. Although
a lot of that crispness had to do with Flash bumping like a freak for them.
I would like to see a rematch, booked more competitively.
Kerry Cabrero vs. Gran Naniwa:
This was a pretty good match, with Cabrero
carrying the lazy, uninspired Naniwa. Naniwa isn’t afraid to come to England
and spend an entire match playing Mr. Fuji. Cabero hits a super fast amateur
takedown to start, and wrestles for two during the entire first 2/3rds
of the match. Naniwa does wake up a little for the finish, hitting a plancha
and all (although that gets trumped by Cabrero’s chair dive.) We do get
the rare sight of Naniwa actually hitting his second rope elbow drop. Naniwa
gets the majority of the offense, but does the job to a rydeen bomb.
Naniwa probably wasn’t too happy about doing the job, and that is probably
why he sucked ass through most of the match.
Christopher Daniels vs. “100%
British Beef” Danny Royal:
Danny Royal looks more like 100% dianobol.
Chis Daniels is probably the best Indy worker in the world and a damn good
import for the UWA. Royal has a pretty vanilla MOVESET!, but Daniels is
so crisp that he carries the Blood Pudding Chris Walker, to a nice little
wrestling match. Daniels wins with the Angel Wings (spinning pedigree)
and the Last Rites (twisting reverse neckbreaker).
Phil Powers/Paul Sloane vs.
Mad Dog McPhie/Johnny Storm:
This was a grudge tag match, set up by the
two singles matches on the last show. The first part of the match was pretty
dicey as Sloane was face-in-peril and looked really green and out of place,
being out of position on several moves, although Storm did take a bunch
of nice bumps. The end was pretty great though as Powers and McPhie take
to the floor, with Powers giving Mad Dog a power bomb on the floor (which
was revenge for an earlier incident STORYLINES!!) Sloane then put Storm
on his shoulders with Powers coming off for a top rope dropkick, with Storm
taking a Henry Godwin like bump right on his head and neck.
Show 3
Alex Shane/Leon Murphy vs.
Death Squad:
Murphy cuts the worlds greatest promo before
this match, Shane is a pretty boy type and is talking all about how sexy
he is, and Leon steps in with “To be honest I don’t really care about good
looks, I’m an ugly man and I can’t get any uglier, so hit me as much as
you want, I’m tougher then you.” The match didn’t live up to the
interview (all though to be fair, what match could. Hell Misawa vs. Kawada
’94 would pale in comparison) as the craptastic Death Squad stink up the
ring again. The incompetent Myers even rolls the wrong way on a rolling
senton, taking an impromptu guillotine leg drop. Shane kills himself
good in the finish, as he attempts a twisting quebrada senton, and doesn’t
rotate far enough, Tiger Driver 91ing himself. Myers drops the anticlimactic
leg for the pin.
Tiger Mask IV vs. Gran Naniwa:
Naniwa is Freedom Dogarific in the beginning
as he masters his ass Austin Idol offense. TM kicks him really hard in
the face a couple of times, and the last 4 or so minutes of this BROADWAY!!!
match are pretty okay, with the highlight being a beautiful Tiger Mask
plancha. After the draw, evil Naniwa attempts to rip his mask off, furthering
a feud which will never continue in England and will be ignored in Japan.
Johnny Storm vs. Jason Cross:
Good highflying match with Storm hitting
a second rope Orihara moonsault and bumping like a madman, cementing his
place as underground guy to watch. Then in a lamentable booking trend which
appears to cross national boundries, Big Poopa T waddles to the ring and
screws up a perfectly acceptable crusierweight match. FUCK YOU VINCE RUSSO!!
"Anarchist" Doug Williams
vs. "Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels:
This was the big match that they had been
building towards. The winner would get the #10 spot in the TV Title Gauntlet
match. Williams looked good in this match, although Daniels was definitely
carrying. Angel gets some heat by cutting a semi filthy promo about placing
the blast on all the British Ladies. They started the match, with a bunch
of reversals and flips and counters, all of which were really nice. Williams
hit the big highspot with a totally out of control springboard plancha.
The end came with Williams hitting a German suplex, but Hot Stuff Stevie
Knight distracts the referee, then Daniels comes back and hits the Last
Rites for the pin. This was the best match of the show, and Daniels shows
that he is a world class worker, by delivering with a guy he had never
worked with before.
The TV shows as a whole were pretty enjoyable. The announcers were knowledgeable (calling a Liger bomb, a Liger Bomb for example) and the booking seemed coherent (if not a little run-in heavy). Kerry Cabrero, Stevie Knight, Johnny Storm, Jody Flash and Doug Williams are all really good talents, with Jason Cross, Phil Powers and Mad Dog McPhee all being quite serviceable. I would like to see them incorporate more of a British style to their matches, and getting some veterans like Dave Taylor or Johnny Saint to help train would be a big asset. I hope the UWA catches on, because I would hate to see British wrestling fall into the dustbin of history.
#$#$#$#$#$#$#$ Amerikkkan Pro
Wrestling- March 1999 – Upstate SOUTH CAROLINA
(Anthony Gancarski)
I have six hours of this to get through,
but due to a nice case of influenza I only did one this week. I pass the
savings on to you!
SPECIAL FORCES (from "Land
of the Airborne) vs. K KRUSH/ICE PICK:
Special Forces are two doughy guys in Army-Navy
surplus camos. Ice Pick is a less athletic Ice Train, and K Krush tries
to work for four here, from coming out and rapping to We Are Family to
hitting a flying bodypress on a Special Force outside the ring. The rest
of this is utter junk, but God bless that K Krush. I think SC has a low
unemployment rate, so all four of these guys can kick it 9 to 5 style at
any number of local carwashes.
BIG HAMMER (with "Attorney
Jeff G. Bailey") vs. BACKSTREET SONNY STONE:
Our boy Hammer is a "heel" and he’s sort
of working the Fred Avery/Big Bubba Rogers body type. Sonny Stone is our
Television Champ, and a face who comes out to "Backstreet’s Back All Right."
Only in South Cackalacky. Hammer sets the tone for this by blowing forearm
smashes – something I didn’t believe was possible. The Champ retaliates
by blowing a cross bodyblock. Way to go, Champ. The only Backstreet Boy
with a mullet and love handles. Whip ass.
CHIEF JAY EAGLE in THE EAGLE’S
NEST:
Looks like the Eagle’s Nest is in a welfare
hotel. This is apparently some sort of Pipper’s Pit/Mulligan’s Barbeque
shtick. Chief Jay Eagle starts talking smack about "Nature Boy 2000" Shane
Austin, and eventually BackstreetSonny Stone comes in wearing purported
street clothes and starts cutting a promo of his own. Sports Entertainment
for all! Eagle tells us that his cast will come off soon and he can start
laying in "tomahawk chops" once more. Backstreet chimes in – "you’re
damn right, Chief!" – and puts up his hand for a High-Five from the Injun,
who is looking off camera. A few seconds later, Eagle turns his head and
slaps Backstreet’s hand and you can just taste the camaraderie.
TERRY AUSTIN vs MAGNUM JESSE
TAYLOR:
It’s as if they got these names from a Random
Name Generator. The prematurely grey-coiffed Austin enters wearing a swank
t-shirt with a snake on the back (Dollar General, $4.44), and Taylor –
who enters to no appreciable crowd pop from the dozens in attendance –
is announced as the "second biggest fan favorite in APW", right behind
the charismatic Backstreet Sonny, of course. This was pretty much straight
outta Techwood Drive except for a mistimed leapfrog spot. Magnum goes over
with a belly-to-belly. Eh.
BEACH BLONDES vs. JASON DAVIS/LIGHTNING
LEE STORM:
The Blondes dare to transgress, coming out
to the 2001 Theme wearing Frederick’s of Hollywood knockoff boudoir robes.
They whoo. Shane Austin is one of the Blondes, and he does perhaps the
most feeble Flair chops ever. The Blondes have flybacks. The horror. The
horror. Oh, my God. The horror. Their opponents clear them out of the ring,
and then blow a double baseball slide. Figure-Fours from both Blondes end
this eventually.
FABULOUS PLAYBOY BUDDY ROSE
JUNIOR INTERVIEWS ROUGH RUSTY RIDDLE and SENSATIONAL SUMMER:
Joel Gertner Junior might have been a more
appropriate moniker, Buddy. You can’t claim the Perschmann legacy just
because you’re fat and have a mullet. Mad props for the cummerbund and
jeans look, though. Riddle sports the requisite mullet as well, which is
great. Sensational Summer has a sort of Incense Vendor at West VA Fleamarket
thing going, what with her paunch and home perm and all. All this vignette
needed, really, was another fat woman in a flannel shirt and fanny pack
named Tanya Terrific to stake her claim to Rusty. And, Lo! This vignette
in fact did have said woman, and my outsized jaw did hit the floor.
Rusty informed both women that there was plenty of him to go around.
HARDCORE HITMAN HUNTER vs.
TWISTED SISTER:
You know you aren’t a workratecentric promotion
when… your lead heel wins a TV main event with a heart punch. This
segued abruptly into a COMING NEXT WEEK promo, featuring sped up footage
of a tag match between four truckers set to some lite-jazz ish muzak, kinda
like the love theme from a Patrick Dempsey movie one might see on USA.
Too sweet!
$%$%$%$%$%$ WCW Handheld -
December 29, 1992 (Philadelphia, PA)
(PHIL RIPPA)
One good thing the person shooting this
handheld did was catching the enormous amount of empty seats in the arena.
Poor WCW, I think history is repeating itself. If fact it is. The card
was held the day after Starrcade. That Starrcade had the worst (until now)
Lethal Lottery.
Paul E. Dangerously vs. Madusa
See Madusa got kicked out of the Dangerous
Alliance for screwing up. Paul E. gets on the STICK. First blames, Arn
Anderson and Larry Zbyszko for kicking her out. He then claims it is because
she is a woman and stinks. Being in Philly, Paul E. gets cheered for this.
The “match” stinks. Madusa delivers some weak kicks. At least she is pre-implants
so she looks like she can still wrestle. This went by very quickly thanks
to the magic of fast forward.
Scotty Flamingo vs. Johnny
B. Badd - Boxing Match
We all know how good wrestlers boxing can
be. Vinnie Vegas seconds Flamingo. 2 Cold Scorpio seconds Badd. Because
I am in the holiday spirit, I will refrain from making various tasteless
jokes. In fact, I will refrain from making comments about this fiasco.
Lots of *cough* boxing *cough* with bits of wrestling thrown in. If you
have seen any sorts of these before you have seen this.
Barry Windham vs. Dustin Rhodes
Okay, I am feeling like testing my history
so here we go. Slid this piece of history amongst the myriad Windham turns.
Barry Windham and Dustin Rhodes had teamed on and off for the last year
and a half or so. When Windham had his hand broken by Anderson and Zbyszko,
he brought in Ricky Steamboat as Dustin’s partner at Clash XVII. Rhodes
and Steamboat won the tag titles that evening, perhaps planting some seeds
of jealousy. Fast forward into 1992. Steve Williams and Terry Gordy had
come in and ran rough shot over the tag team division culminating in unifying
the NWA and WCW tag titles. The team they beat in the finals of the tournament
was Windham/Rhodes. Everyone expected Gordy & Williams to lose the
belts to the Steiners but that never happened. In September of that year,
the team that finally beat them was Windham and Rhodes. Two months later,
Windham and Rhodes lost the belts to Steamboat and Shane Douglas. Windham
preceded back to the dark side for the 206th time. In fact, Starrcade had
not been a good night for Windham as he and Brian Pillman failed to wrest
the tag belts away from Steamboat & Douglas. He then was the last man
eliminated by the Great Muta in the Battle Bowl. Anyway, being in Philadelphia,
Rhodes is rightly booed and Windham gets a immense BARRY chant. The match
is just there. Windham has started to get on in age and Rhodes isn’t wrestling
Vader in the Semis of the King of Cable tournament so this match is a wash.
You know it is bad when the ref takes the biggest bump of the match. Windham
wins to please the crowd.
Vader/Masa Chono vs. Great
Muta/Sting
Well along with Jushin Liger, Chono and
Muta are probably the most recognizable wrestlers from Japan for the WCW
rubes. That means that the crowd is indifferent too them. Just as if they
were part of the regular undercard workers. In that great jingoistic booking
of Bill Watts, Chono and Muta have to wrestle each other because God Forbid
we ignored ethnicity in a wrestling angle. Chono is sporting the NWA Heavyweight
belt, which of course incites a big “We Want Flair” chant. Sting and Vader
had an amazing feud that I would rank up in the Top 5 feuds of the decade.
I was greatly disappointed in this match though. Chono completely mails
it in and there is barely any Sting vs. Vader. Muta gets the crowd to pop
for the handspring elbow. I did like Vader’s attempt to put the Scorpion
on Sting. Of course, that was the only piece of psychology in the match.
I guess it was decent enough for a house show but I was wanting for more.
Jushin Liger/Kensuke Sasaki
vs. Shane Douglas/Ricky Steamboat
Now this is the money match. Everyone is
given huge applause except Douglas. Oh how times changed. Of course, it
could have been because of Douglas’ King-Sized Dynamic Dudesqe Mullet.
This baby rocks as it is given 20 minutes. Douglas and Sasaki don’t fuck
anything up and let Liger and Steamboat dictate most of the action. Besides
Douglas’ mullet, the only other flaw of the match was the fact that Liger
kept channeling Ric Flair (doing the figure four, chopping, etc.) which
kept encouraging the crowd to chant. (Especially, the group of people sitting
right next to the camera so I was treated to the sounds of a guy doing
a “WHOO” that sounded like an ambulance.) Steamboat sells every little
thing, which hammers home how much selling is a lost art in the U.S. After
getting his back worked over, Steamboat remembers to sell it even when
delivering a backdrop of his own. Douglas lives by the unwritten rule that
if you team with Steamboat, you must produce at least 10 armdrags. The
first 10 minutes are dedicated to Steamboat and Douglas in control including
making quick tags for the sake of making quick tags. Liger and Sasaki gain
control and work over Douglas for awhile. Liger and Sasaki manage to stave
off a hot tag to Steamboat and start going for the win. A second rope moonsault
by Liger brings the New Japan boys as close to the belts as they were ever
going to see. Actually, if you forget about the fact that Douglas/Steamboat
are the champions, then the match is even more enjoyable because you get
wrapped up in the idea that Liger and Sasaki have a chance to win. That
is one of things I will credit Bill Watts and Jim Ross for is their booking.
Guys who today are labeled in certain categories could be booked and have
credible chances back in the day. Liger, who is considered to be nothing
more than a Light Heavyweight by many, was getting people behind him and
believing in him because of his ability to wrestle and tell a story in
the ring. Brian Pillman was very similar. I mean hell; later on this same
tape there is a Vader/Steve Austin vs. Tom Zenk/Marcus Bagwell match. Normally,
you wouldn’t think that would be watchable but it is. (Well maybe I’m stretching
a little). Okay, I am done incoherently rambling.
#$#$#$#$# NEW JAPAN- Best of
the Super J VI : Part 1
(REV RAY DUFFY)
I borrowed this from Pete. This was
pretty much the "Stuff that didn't get on TV from Block A" tape.
(Super) Shocker vs. Jushin
Lyger :
Super Shocker is just regular Shocker from
EMLL. This starts out with both guys taking it to the mat and exchanging
submissions. Shocker works on Lyger's leg when he gets in control
with some good looking knee drop knee breaker type moves. Lyger busts
out his goofy super wind up as if for a punch into an eye poke. Lyger
goes for the shotay a number of times in the match and Shocker keeps avoiding
him with drop toe holds. Shocker busts out some graceful stuff like
his tope fake where he dives over the ropes, does a handstand on the apron
and lands on his feet to hit the guy on the floor. He also has the
rudo "slap myself repeatedly in the chest" ala Shu el Guerrero down pat.
Lyger the NJPW heavyweight no sells a running move, dares them to do another
spot and goes on offense hitting a shotay and one in the corner.
Shocker hits a tripped out flying headscissors/small package type move
that was cool. Lyger ends up winning this with a brainbuster. A good
and fun match.
Masaaki Mochizuki vs. Tatsuhito
Takaiwa :
Maasaki... you deserve soooo much better
my friend. Here's a surpise, Takaiwa's a no selling sack of shit.
I don't see why they don't just put him in face paint and run him and Sasaki
as the Hellraisers 2K. A lot of this is Takaiwa no selling Mochizuki's
kicks and then being his usual big move, no transitions self. Takaiwa
teases a spot where he's on the apron and catches a Mochizuki high roundhouse
kick and grabs him over the ropes for a Death Valley Bomb, but they both
fall to the floor. Mochizuki hits a series of offense when Takiawa
runs into an ax kick. Mochizuki hits a spring drop kick, a german
suplex and then follows it with a great running roundhouse kick right to
the face. Takaiwa gets a near fall following a lariat when
Mochizuki flips out of a powerbomb attempt. Takaiwa keeps hitting
powerbombs and lariats, but Mochizuki keeps kicking out. Mochizuki
eventually gets the win after reversing yet another powerbomb, another
DVB attempt and hitting his run up the ropes enzugiri. Takaiwa tries
to no sell it and hit a lariat, but Mochizuki ducks it and hits the Dragon
suplex for the win. Stink, thy name is Mengiwa.
Gran Hamada vs. Tatsuhito
Takaiwarrior :
NJPW providing a large "lean on the fast
forward" section of this tape. This is a rare Takaiwa match in that
he actually works an armbar or two. Hamada gets a cross armbreaker
in which Takaiwa tries to lift out of into a powerbomb, but Hamada turns
it into a wakigatame. Takaiwa catches a Hamada pescado and drops
him across the railing. Takaiwa catches Hamada on the top rope going
for a top rope rana and goes for a powerbomb, which Hamada turns
into a DDT off the top. Takaiwa eventually hits the endless rebound powerbomb,
the DVB and the lariat for the win. Why won't the Ohara and Goto
lobby to feud with Takaiwa already so he can move up and stink up the heavyweight
division already?
Masaaki Mochizuki vs. Jushin
Lyger :
They do a quick segment where both avoid
some strikes from each other and Mochizuki drops Lyger with a running shotay
following a Lyger attempt. Mochizuki takes Lyger to the floor, whips
him to the railing and follows in with a leg lariat, followed by a series
of roundhouses while Lyger is against the railing. Lyger fights
off a suplex attempt back in the ring, so Mochizuki drops him with a high
roundhouse kick. The key to this match is the fact that Lyger sells
Mochizuki's kicks like they hurt, a concept that Takaiwa and Kanemoto couldn't
get through their fucking thick skulls in their tournament matches with
Mochizuki. Lyger does do a hulk up during a few of the kicks and
counters with a dragon screw. He takes Mochizuki to the floor and
shotays him over the railing. Lyger goes to shotay him against the post,
but misses and Mochizuki changes his attack to Lyger's arm. He hits
him with an assortment of kicks and armbar attempts. When Lyger fights
off his superplex attempt, Mochizuki turns it into a side arm takedown
and floats over into a step over armbar. Mochizuki releases Lyger
after hitting a german suplex at one and says that he's not done, following
up with a running roundhouse kick to the head. He goes for a brainbuster,
Lyger fights him off, Mochizuki tries for a wakigatame, but Lyger shotay's
him with his good hand. Lyger then hits a frog splash for two.
Mochizuki flips out of a powerbomb attempt, hits an ax kick, the run up
the ropes kick and a dragon suplex for a near fall. He and Lyger
fight over a hold, Lyger hits the koppou kick. Lyger keeps
getting situations where he nearly has Mochizuki with a finisher, but Mochizuki
flips out or counters them. Lyger hits a shotay and a running lyger
bomb for two. He hits a brainbuster and follows it up with a final
shotay for the win. This was a good match.
Koji Kanemoto vs. Tatsuhito
Takaiwa :
It's the man I really hate v. the man who
continues to earn my hate every match I watch him. Kanemoto is quickly
earning his way on my shitlist as he's someone who has the tools to be
a great wrestler, but it seems like he's too much of an idiot to pull off
good matches. Yeah, I know his gimmick is that he's a total prick,
but no selling to be a prick is fucking annoying and gets old really fast.
Anyway, there's a match here. Both guys do segments where they work
on the others legs. Kanemoto gets in a bunch of kicks. Takaiwa's
all about lariats, DVB's and powerbombs. Hey, he even kicks out of
Kanemoto's moonsault at one. Kanemoto gets in in a crossarmbreaker
to tap out. Whatever.
Gran Hamada vs. Koji Kanemoto
:
Koji tries being a dick early in the match,
but Hamada won't take much of his shit and goes over Kanemoto's legs for
a good part of the match. Koji earns my hate by taking a Swinging
DDT off the apron to the floor and selling it for like 15 seconds.
Koji, you're in with Gran FUCKING Hamada, not Hayato Nanjo. I don't
care if he doesn't work for the promotion, he's a legend, arguably, the
best working legend in the world right now, SELL FOR HIM. Hamada
does get in a segment where he gets kanemoto on the ropes. He hits
a top rope rana, a diving lariat and a diamond cutter off the top rope.
After not being able to get the pin, Hamada starts working on the arm.
He gets in a cross armbreaker and a wakigatame. Kanemoto drop kicks
Hamada out of the air when he tries to do a cross body out of a corner.
Kanemoto hits a Falcon Arrow and a moonsault for the win. It was
good, but could have been SOOOOOO much better.
Tatsuhito Takaiwa vs. (Super)
Shocker :
*FOUR* Takaiwa matches! On a "BEST
OF" the Super J tape. New Japan Pro-Wrestling, what a bunch of fucking
kidders! Takaiwa actually does a bit of mat work in this. It's
a start. Takaiwa works a head scissor, which Shocker escapes out
of into his knee drop knee breaker move into a figure four. Shocker
gets in his corner lariat into a bulldog spot. He goes for a suplex,
but Takaiwa hits a brainbuster and a lariat. Shocker ranas out of
a powerbomb attempt, hits a leg lariat and a la majistral for 2.
Takaiwa kicks out of a moonsault at 1. He also clotheslines Shocker
out of the sky when he attempts a body block. Endless rebound powerbomb
for two. Takaiwa sets Shocker up top for something, but Shocker escapes
and hits the fireman's carry into a Michinoku Driver II move for the win.
A mixed bag in this bracket. WAAAAAAAAAY too much Takaiwa for my tastes.
%^%^%^%^%^% TORYUMON on GAORA
8/24/1999- DRAGON HARVEST 99
(DEAN RASMUSSEN)
This show was aptly named by the Random
Name Generator that GAORA is not afraid to use. It's time to harvest
another crop of rookies and HOLY FUDGE! here you go. TORYUMON is
really not afraid to deeply pump out the youngsters who frickin supply
the ROCK- as they showcase the all good Horiguchi, Mochizuki, Arai and
Kanda rookie punk sensations that, for some reason as shown on this tape,
WRESTLE THEIR ASSES OFF. These guys actually come up with a MOTY
candidate between them and ALL THIS before Magnum Tokyo and his makcing
dancers even appears. BOY!
Genki Horiguchi vs. Sasumu
Mochizuki:
JIMINY FUCKING CRIMINY, this match is really
just THOROUGHLY WONDERFUL. This is the best Junior match of 1999
other than Magnum vs Sasuke- hell! maybe it's better- and you know how
I've gone to bat for Magnum vs Sasuke like a champ talking it up and singing
its praises like Magnum Tokyo is my illegitimate son or something (NOT
THAT HE IS! I'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN TO NAGOYA!! YOU CAN ALL GO TO HELL!....)
This match is pretty astounding for a couple of reasons. Genki is
less surfer-intensive for some reason but the goofiness that will get him
over in the land of the Rising Sun is still present. Genki is young,
wiry, and tough as nails; is a good midgrade flier and has many intangibles
that all pitch in to make this match as great as it turned out to be.
Bedecked in a BodyGlove and with odd grey highlights in his hair, Genki
is the Magnum Tokyo of his class- a natural face with charisma and ability,
supplying the flashiness and lovable demeanor that drags the crowd in and
gives the rudo something to work with. Mochizuki has REALLY come
along since the last TORYUMON review as he is all about the matwork and
elaborate lucha entanglements which will ROCKET HIM INTO MY HEART!
Sasumu is bedecked in a hideous purple outfit and works solid way
more than flashy for the most part and is every bit the Judo Suwa of this
class of TORYUMON. Together these show a great new possibility for
TORYUMON- a promotion that was beginning to get some backlash on the NET!
as a pretender to the Mid-Nineties Michinoku Throne and a conglomeration
of spotmachines and cheap heat Seekers- overrated and flashing in the pan.
Here is the second wave to add to the first burgeoning promise of the first
wave of UD grads who stormed the Junior world and staked it's claim, and
here is the second fruit of UD wrestling loins and it cements the future
of the promotion as the factory creating the New Japan Styled Juniors.
The first part of the match is a man-sized dose of cool-ass midgradely
elaborate armdrags- as they alternate Steamboat-level DEEP to freaky JAPANESE
armdrags. From there they feign shootstyle submission and then they
beat the hell out of each other for a while and then it gets to the part
that makes this one of the best of 1999- they do this whole trifecta of
moves and transitions that go beyond the surface Ultimo Dragonism that
the first wave of TORYUMON graduates merely dabbled in. This match
is Ultimo's vision of the future as these two youngsters take the components
that made Ultimo great and create a whole universe of wrestling in one
match . The build is skewed and weird but psychologically sound and
technically breath-taking. The stiffness of the strikes is big enough
to work as effective transitions just like in BattlARTS, but there is AMAZING
fucked-up lucha roll-ups that BattlARTS never sees. The roll-ups
and submissions are amazingly creative and the highspots look like they
hurt like hell, but each is sold perfectly- with a leaning towards selling
too long which you NEVER see in Japan these days. There are little
psycholgical things that make this a great match- Genki hits his Genki
Driver2000 twice and each time there is enough time before the cover to
protect the finisher but still allow for a kick out. Mochizuki kicks
the hell out of Genki and then gets a GREAT fucked-up Cross-Armbreaker
Variation TWICE- the first with a simple ropebreak, the second time- Mochizuki
traps the leg and looks to have the Submission, but Genki kicks Mochizuki's
hands apart to go for his first Genki Special (A cross between a Stretch
Plum and that rolling Abdominal Stretch that Dos Caras uses- see I toldja
it was pretty fucked up) which is broken by a ropebreak- SO THUS Genki
MIRRORS Mochizuki's point of psychology by trapping Mochizuki's leg when
he gets his second Genki special submission hold applied. It's was
fucking beautiful and ASTOUNDING that it was coming from two guys who have
been wrestling for less than a year. TORYUMON isn't afraid to have
the young wrestlers who are just fucking GREAT and add these two to the
list. Mochizuki looks to have REAL Ass-stomper potential that is
only hinted at in this match- as he isn't afraid to kick Genki right in
the frickin face really hard just to see the look on his face. Genki
has a real charisma and can also wrestle his motherfucking ass off.
The totally bitching thing about this match is that these two have really
taken in what the best ideas of the current wrestling situation in Japan
and added the hardcore psychological basis that Ultimo drives into their
skulls from day one. I mean, they hit fucked-up cross-armbreaker
variations that would have Minoru Tanaka and Ikuto Hadaka saying, "Uh,,,
Minoru, What the hell was THAT?" There were freaked out neck-breakers
and an Atomic Shin-breaker that would have Dean Malenko saying, "Hmmm,
I should steal that." I dunno. The stiffness, the True State
Of The Art moves, the build, the hot as hell finish- This match is fucking
great. Go watch this somehow.
Masaaki Mochizuki vs. Chocoball
Kobe:
The start of the Chocoball faceturn starts
here as Choco gets a SHIIMA-esque leather and tassels shortpants to replace
the crappy fatigue-based outfit he was sporting and gets his ass beaten
DEEPLY into the ground by suitably dick-like Masaaki Mochizuki (though
Masaaki sells the rookies early flurry like a pro- just to further piss
you off that Kanemoto and that shithead Takaiwa never sold for HIM in a
similar situation.) They really beat the holy hell out of each and
it's pretty great. Chocoball shows a lot more in this than
on the last TORYUMON TV show and when in with the fabulous Masaaki Mochizuki,
I guess that's a viable option. Choco is actually pretty good at doling
out the Takeshi Ono-like scrawny, mealy punk ass-kicking as he is REALLY
the skinny redneck in your homeroom who never lost any fights because he
was such a hateful little bastard. Chocoball strikes a chord with
every man's Inner Scrawny Redneck Punk Burner Hatchet Fan and I revel along
with you. Mochizuki revels in his own groove of being Every Man's
Inner Brother Of Redneck Kobe's Friend: The Brother That Greases Trucks
For A Living And Cuts His Cast Off His Own Broken Leg With A Pocket Knife
And Is Scary And Psychotic And Beats The Hell Out Of Scrawny Redneck Bastards
Because He Is A Big Redneck Bastard. Masaaki thus opts to show how
hard he can beat the living breathing shit out of the young Chocoball-
with Chocoball crawling out of pinning combinations and struggling to his
feet at the eight count after Masaaki hits some elaborate spinning, flying
flippy, jumpy kicks to the head. Chocoball shows all kinds of fighting
spirit and shit at the end so you know CIIMA is gonna be beating the hell
out of young Kobe PDQ. Mochizuki crushes him in a myriad of ways.
It's FUN!
Kennichiro Arai vs. Yasushi
Kanda:
Hey, Kanda has blue hair! WILD! Arai is
doing this gimmick where he is Toshiro Mifune from Seventh Samurai- what
with him wandering in with his big bottle of booze and scruffy, scratchy
demeanor. And- by the way- this match is really good. Arai and Kanda
really beat the living hell out of each other in a stiff as hell, Strongstyle-meets-US
Pro Style match and it's really really good all the way to the finish.
Kanda starts off by bludgeoning Arai's back after Arai takes the first
of many painful looking bumps- with this one being a fully extended sprawling
crash into the chairs. Kanda is all fun as a testosterone-drenched
penis-head going all heelish on Arai- who returns the jerkiness as soon
as he can. Arai hits the first of his many headbutts to get on offense
halfway through the match and Kanda takes an even more spectacular sprawling
flight into the chairs. After a while, Arai starts working on Kanda's
shoulder - setting up for his inverted Fujiwara Armbar to kill time until
the fight for the finishers. Arai has added two really cool moves
to his repertoire- the Springboard Diving Headbutt and the World's Hurtiest
Jawbreaker (the SPECS: Aria sits his opponent on the toprope turnbuckle
and grabs his opponents wrist and sticks them behind his opponents head
while placing his own head under his opponents chin and then drags his
opponent off the top turnbuckle chinfirst onto his head. It's pretty
fucking great.) The ending is all a big fight for the most tooth-busting
finisher and Arai wins out and sets up his INSANE No-Look Headbutt for
the big win. This was cool for a couple of reasons, the main one
being that this was a juniors match based on beating the other guy's ass
into the ground- as opposed to tricky Lucha approximations and graceful
highflying. This was old school and I dug it the most.
Shiima Nobunaga/Judo Suwa/Sumo
Fuji vs. Makoto/Yoshiyuki Saito/Stoker Ichikawa:
This was basically a squash as CRAZY MAX
beats up on the three oddballs- so this sucked for the most part.
The ending was pretty hot actually, as Saito and Makoto (SAITO! FROM IWA
RESTART! HOW DID I NOT RECOGNIZE HIM LAST TIME? Mayhap I'm
an idiot....) are really good and nifty and stuff and SUWA makes Makoto
look god-like when he gets around to selling for him and being the best
rudo in Japan and shit. Stoker was going for the comedy jokes in
this one and you know how much I love that kind of shit. Sumo Fuji
does the thing that Taru did with Stoker which was selling being poked
in the butt and being poked in the eyes but being oblivious to Stoker's
Lariats. They make with comedy jokes! It's not old yet!
I'm guessing one more match and the hatred will kick in. Fast forward
past the first half and watch the ending with suitably passing interest.
Magnum Tokyo vs. Yoshikazu
Taru:
TARU continues to be the second best thing
to come out of Buko Dojo as he acquits himself pretty well in this- assuming
the role of a selling, working Meng- what with the wacky pants and hair.
Plus the cool tribal tatoos that hadda hurt ("mad phat ink" as those kids
say these days.) He hits his limited POWER ARSENAL and takes a great
big Released German onto his be-braided head, earning my respect. This
is all GAEAized as Ultimo channels Chigusa and Bill Watts and has Chocoball
turn face by assaulting CRAZY MAX with a bat and then gets the holy hell
beaten out of himself in a RAW IS CUT-AWAY Scene In The Back as CRAZY MAX
really gives young Kobe the business while Magnum and Taru grapple somewhere
else in the building. It even had the crappy pre-taped feel to it
that makes me watch anything but American wrestling these days, but I digress...As
for the match itself, wellll... I had a couple of quibbles about
this match. It was the FOURTH stiffest match on the show and Taru
is supposed to be this big badass. I dunno. The highspots were
nice, the big finish was built up pretty well but the BOOKING! ditracted
me from the match at hand as I was waiting for them to switch back to Choco
getting beaten to death, or Goldberg walking around, or for Sid to come
out and powerbomb both of them or some shit. Either way, it didn't
help this match meet the standard that the other Taru vs Magnum match reached-
which was a qualified success at the most. I dunno. UD needs
to notice that Chigusa does the really great angle AFTER the match is actually
over. Either way, in the angle portion that permeated this match,
Masaaki Mochizuki- Chocoball having earned his respect- makes the big save
when CRAZY MAX goes buckwild on Chocoball and Magnum and a new alliance
is formed and actually looks to lead to some pretty good match-ups.
After the loss of Chocoball from the MAX, CRAZY MAX looks to be courting
Makoto in the DRAGON HARVEST Outdoor Wrestling And Folk Festival.
That would be cool- though Makoto won't have SUWA around anymore
to make his Springboard Rana TOTALLY SING like SUWA is wont to do.
This show was really great.
My hearty recommendation.
~@~
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NEXT WEEK: THE BIG JAPAN
YOU jus GOT to see! Mountains of OSAKA/ONITA/IWA PRO
INDIE SLIME FOR YOUR SWEET ASS! MORE OF THE EXAMINATION OF BOCKWINKLE!
WOO-HOO!
OTHER COOL BUNDLES OF CRAP!
************************************************************
THE DEATH VALLEY PLAYBOYS.
seven fists in the face of
wrestling
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
All of my hope, and my inspiration
I drew from you
Our life´s pattern´s
drawn in sand
But the winds could not erase
The memory of your face
-ROXY MUSIC
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
**************************************
|
| home |