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GOLLY! I got so much whomp ass grappling action this week that I can't even begin to figure out what I'ma do. I got the MP Lucha from April, TWO giant GLENN tapes that I spoke of last week, FISTFULLS of LUCHA LIBRE from Schneider, you name it, I'm swimming in it (so to speak). Anyway, this week I polish off the latest round of TORYUMON as I try to keep up with the Lucha and Lucha-esque stylings of Schneider and the ever-amiable Pogo Pete- as they try to weather the hoary onslaught of TWO-yes TWO- LLPW reviews by RIPPA! and Naimark. Behold, PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETE....
#$#$#$#$#$#$ FULL 6-18-98, Korakuen
Hall (SAMURAI!)
(POGO PETE STEIN!)
For the uninitiated, FULL is the promotional
umbrella Dos Caras runs his increasingly-sporadic Japan tours under as
a sort of revival of Gran Hamada's old Universal promotion. The ref
for all of the matches is some American guy who looks like Dennis Coraluzzo's
doppleganger... I'll call him "Fennis" until someone can hip me to his
proper ID.
KAZUHIKO MASADA vs. CHINNEN NISHIDA:
IIRC both guys work for Tatsumi Fujinami's "Dragon
Zone" promotion... a lucha show with a strong-style opening match?
WHO KNEW? Nishida does throw in a cool spinning headscissors and
attempts to kill himself by completely botching a pescado, but that's the
extent of the excitement in this match. Masada with a FUBAR'd German Suplex
at 6:56, and the crowd is less than enthused. "GET THOSE REAL WRESTLERS
OUT OF THE RING SO WE CAN SEE THE MEXICAN ACROBATS WE PAID FOR!"
MANAMI TOYOTA vs. MOMOE NAKANISHI:
Toyota comes out to Chaka Khan's "I Feel For
You"- no jokes, it just had to be said. Momoe's still a few months away
from her beating the vets, and Toyota takes this match about as seriously
as you might expect from her. The crowd reacts in kind by giving
Momoe NO HEAT WHATSOEVER, not even for her finishers like the Dragon Suplex.
Toyota with the JO Suplex at 12:43... next!
2/3 FALLS: EL BRAZO/BRAZO DE PLATINO/BRAZO
CIBERNETICO/MOSCO DE LA
MERCED vs. BRAZO DE ORO/BRAZO DE PLATA/SUPER
BRAZO/TARZAN BOY:
It's a Battle of The Brazos because YOU, the
people of Japan, asked for it! Tarzan ("Victor's pool boy!" clapclapclapclapclap)
comes out and leads his opponents in a hoochie-koochie dance so you just
know this is gonna be special. =D El Brazo unseats Kendo as
World's Most Annoying Wrestler as his whole schtick consists of yelling
"GUERRERO!" at the crowd and doing a slow burn when they justifiably ignore
him for the most part. This goes on for FIVE MINUTES before a disgusted
Tarzan tags out, at which point we get the World's Fattest Seven-Dive Sequence
with topes from beefers El, Oro, Cibernetico (the former Robin Hood) and
Plata plus the World's Fattest Orihara Moonsault courtesy of Platino.
Fall goes to the Original Brazos when Porky squashes Mosco with a top-rope
splash at 6:38. They work a funny bit where Porky engages Mosco in
a test of strength, only for them to stop when the Nuevo Brazos try to
start a "Mosco! clapclapclap" chant for him. Porky goes over and
shuts them up, then resumes the test of strength with Mosco who helpfully
remained frozen when Porky walked off. Nuevos take the second fall
when Cibernetico pins Tarzan with a Northern Lights suplex at 5:20, then
win the match at 6:31 of the deciding fall when Platino moonsaults Oro
for the pin. The rest of the match was almost entirely schtick, which
I actually kinda dug but would probably have my more serious cohorts ralphing
all over their keyboards. Do I have to add that Mosco was essentially
wasted here?
UWA WELTERWEIGHT TITLE: SUPER CRAZY vs.
HIT GUZMAN:
Guzman is EMLL's Kid Guzman... for some reason
"Kid" and "Hit" are interchangable. OK match consisting of matwork
for the first several minutes until Crazy drops Kid, heads up top and misses
the Cancun Tornado. Kid takes over with an uranage, some suplexes
and a hot Frankenstein but can't put Crazy away. He hits a missile
dropkick and covers; Crazy apparently was supposed to reach the ropes here
but he's too far away and has to put up his shoulder. He's too late,
but Fennis lets him get away with it. Kid continues the attack until
Crazy blocks a Tornado DDT and comes back with a missile dropkick trifecta.
Kid rolls to the floor,
but Crazy sets him up on a table and kills him
dead with an Orihara moonsault, then rolls him back in and simply pins
him with a Liger Bomb at 15:11 to retain the title. Anticlimactic
finish, and the crowd doesn't help by sitting on their hands the whole
match.
PIERROTH JR/NEGRO CASAS/VILLANO III vs. DOS CARAS/GIANT
DOS CARAS/SICODELICO JR:
Come back, come back! It isn't Sicodelico-
it's his son! Actually, think of him as Dos Caras' nephew. OK first
fall with the best part being the Old-School-Like-Ringo's-Hair sequence
between V-3 and Dos. Sicodelico Jr is greener than the Jets' current
QB staff (TURF SUCKS!!!!!) but he's a pretty good worker and gets carried
through some good stuff. Giant Dos Caras is Shunji Takano/
Giant Zebra. Negro is Negro. Pierroth
is in the final stages of his coolness before dropping his mask to La Parka
and sucking the chrome off a Cadillac for good. Negro takes the first
fall with La Magistral on Sico Jr in 4:46. Dos evens the match by
allowing Negro to take out Pierroth by accident, then scooping him up and
running around the ring with Negro in a Reverse Gorry Special until he
quits at 3:07. Third fall has one of those "everyone unlaces the
next guy's mask at the same time" bits which results in Pierroth "accidentally"
unmasking himself as Dos punches him in the stomach while he's trying to
relace his hood. Sico Jr. shows to be a promising lucha flyer as
he hits a springboard plancha and just about lands in the Korakuen balcony
by overshooting everyone in sight. After all, you're not a true luchador
until you've attempted public suicide in such a manner. Dos comes
in and looks to have the match won until Negro unmasks him and Fennis DQ's
the rudos at 3:27 for the match.
GIANT DOS CARAS/HISASHI SHINMA vs. VILLANO III/PIERROTH
JR:
Quite the weird-ass main event, as Dos rips off
the WWF by having former New Japan president Shinma work a match after
Pierroth beat up his son the previous week. Giant Dos works Pierroth
over before tagging Shinma, and the crowd (former W*iNG fans?) chant "SHINMA!"
everytime Grampy Hisashi chops him, but Pierroth no-sells everything.
Shinma takes Pierroth down judo-style and actually clamps on a cross-armbreaker
while Giant Dos takes out V-3 with a pescado... and the bell rings! Crowd
goes bonkers, but the timekeeper's screwed up and Pierroth didn't actually
tap. Pierroth powers out, gives Shinma the World's Daintiest Tombstone
and gets the pin at 5:23. Pierroth and V-3 then proceed to put the
boots to Shinma until Gran Hamada runs in for the
save.
I have nothing else to say about this show that
is either true or relevant... but Dean is gonna get a copy of the Brazos
match come hell
or high water.
!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@ OMEGA Wrestling
3/27/98- HANDHELD (PHIL SCHNEIDER)
Wolverine vs. Black Skull:
When you hear wrestling cognoscenti bemoan wrestlers
who learn to do an Asai moonsault before they learn to run the ropes, they
are talking about Black Skull. Skull is a hell of an athlete who can bust
out some spectacular highspots, but he can't actually wrestle or anything
(actually the last time I saw Black Skull he seemed to be developing some
inter-highspot skill, but this tape pre-dates that by almost a year). Wolverine
is action adventure star Jeff Hardy in one of his half dozen or so OMEGA
gimmicks. Wolverine always seemed a lot less vital, then Willow the Whisp
or ½ f the Hardy Boyz Jeff Hardy, I don't know, maybe it was the
Dingo Warrior facepaint and bad neon green trunks. Lots of assorted highspotery
in this one, with Black Skull hitting a monstrous Tope-con-hilo, a pair
of diving headscissors and a shooting star press. Wolverine was pretty
subdued as he confined his offense to the ring, the ending was kind of
botched as Jeff blew a stardust press thingy and just had to settle for
a northern lights suplex. Started out hot, but kind of went to hell,
although I would much rather see a sloppy Black Skull match then a perfectly
worked Julio Sanchez match.
Bobby Burnette vs. T.C. Brimstone:
Over the last year the collective Death Valley
Playboyz have spent a lot of bandwith dissing T.C. Brimstone and his inept
attempts to "wrestle", and trust me he's no good. However I have decided
to bury the hatchet, T.C. isn't on my TV using his "stroke" to bury more
talented workers, he isn't being pushed to the moon because he went hunting
with the promoter or taught his kid karate, he isn't a paunchy "legend"
desperate to hang on to his pathetic career, he isn't a drug addict or
a pederast- he's just some guy in North Carolina trying to
live out his dream and probably doesn't deserve to get shit upon. So I
will say nothing bad about Tracy's performance here. Venom does the
Bizzaro world Sid (a big talented wrestler, runs in and squashes two small
untalented wrestlers) run-in on this match and punks both guys.
Serial Thrillaz vs. Joey Matthews/Christian
York:
Thrillaz prove the were the top team in the Indy's
by dragging the symbols of Independent mediocrity Matthews + York to a
great match. York and Matthews (who a representing the invading NWA 2000
group) do some nice double teams, lower the volume on their heel shtick
and are quite competent. Shane Helms (who was saddled with the unfortunate
moniker Kid Viscous back then) rocks in this per usual, hitting a great
twisting uranage and various cool double teams with Maverick. This also
might have been the best I have seen Maverick look as he hits a gorgeous
spear, sells like a champ for the little guys, and delivers the best U.S.
Michinoku Driver II that I have ever seen to get the win. Matthews
turns on York, as another chapter in their long and tangled relationship
is written (they do sort of a Bill Dundee + Jerry Lawler thing, in frequency
of turns and Memphistian wrestling, they could really use a consultation
with Dr. Sydney Basil.)
Venom vs. Otto Schwantz:
Otto has improved a ton over the last 6-8 months
and is a legitimately good worker now. He really wasn't in March
of 1998, but Venom (who is currently Sports Entertaining us as Joey Abs)
guides him along to a darn good match. Otto looks a little lost when he
is on offense, and he breaks out the iron claw (which he has discarded,
thank god), but he bumps like a king for all of Venom's offense, and they
work a nice near falls section at the end. I can't say enough good things
about Jason Ardnt (and enough bad things about how he is being wasted in
a stupid comedy gimmick, clean job to Shane McMahon my left nut sack) he
executes a pile of sweet moves in this match, including a missed flying
elbow, great powerslam, incredible bridged German Suplex (Otto is legit
280) and a boss Black Tiger Bomb.
Willow the Whisp vs. Kid Dynamo:
These two have a special kind of chemistry which
comes with training and working with each other constantly. Much like Dragon
Kid and Judo Suwa, Dynamo and Whisp (who is another alter ego of Sports
Entertainer Jeff Hardy) have some spectacular spots which are true combined
efforts, both wrestling coalescing their athleticism to do something spectacular.
Whisp and Dynamo do a knuckle lock powerbomb reversal which is breathtaking
in its grace and complexity, as well as several headscissors combos. This
particular match, while being good in comparison to the breadth and scope
of all wrestling, was not as good as other Whisp v. Dynamo matches. A couple
of the more complex spots were blown, and the ending involved the ref ripping
his shirt off and fighting Willow, then the ref gets distracted by a generic
woman, and Willow uses a baking pan shot, to knock Dynamo out, and he slaps
on the Texas Cloverleaf. Bunches of great spots and big bumps, but this
is the least of the half dozen or so Willow v. Dynamo matches I have seen,
and was the start of the bookamania
Cham Pain vs. Surge:
These are two of my favorite OMEGA workers, but
the other singles match I have seen between the two was subpar. The work
in this match was good, but it was Heymanized to the fullest extent. Pain
came to the ring with the House of Pain (half a dozen interchangeable guys
in suits and a couple of women) and the interfered through out the match.
Cham Pain hit his awesome corkscrew plancha and Surge (who is Action Adventurer
Matt Hardy) hit a bunch of nice suplexes and took some bumps, but this
was booktastic. The end is something like this, Lexy Fife tosses powder
at Surge, but misses and hits Cham Pain, then Pain DDT's her because he
is blinded. Then Surge hits Cham Pain with a chair. While Pain is down
the House of Pain attack Surge, then Cham Pain gets the mike and starts
calling Surge, High Voltage (which was Matt Hardy's previous New Frontier
Wrestling gimmick) he then says "It's me Sub Zero" (which was Cham Pain's
old New Frontier gimmick, he was a baby face named Sub Zero before he got
amnesia and turned into evil exotic male dancer Cham Pain, I only know
this because Cham told me the whole story behind this angle when we were
down in Mexico, so you can imagine how confused the crowd was) Sub Zero/Cham
Pain then gets Surge/High Voltage to give him a hug, he then DDT's Surge
Voltage on a chair. House of Pain sets up a table on the turnbuckle and
a table in the ring. Cham Pain attempts a superplex put it gets reversed
and Surge Liger Bombs him through the table in a sweet spot. Then Bookamania
continues as the Duke of New York brings down a mystery NWA 2000 contender,
who he reveals to be Sweet Dreams. Which
leads to....
Sweet Dreams vs. Surge:
Sweet Dreams was the original OMEGA champion
but he forfeited the title, he had arrived to get his belt back. Dreams
is a darn good classic rudo, who takes big bumps and makes his opponents
look good, this was not his best match as it was short and angle driven.
Surge dispatches more Interference from Duke and Joey Matthews and pins
Dreams with the top rope Quebrada. The locker room comes out to celebrate
the OMEGA win over NWA2000, the Serial Thrillaz then get on the mike and
complain that no one congratulated them when they beat the NWA2000 team
earlier. They the challenged the Hardy Boys to a tag title versus Heavyweight
title match, Venom who is Surge's regular partner, then goes crazy and
starts choke slamming everyone including Jeff Hardy. Surge tries to calm
him down but he leaves, then Surge tries to calm
an angry Jeff Hardy and get him to agree to the
challenge. I was Sports Entertained. As a whole the show was pretty good
with no real weak spots, the immense amount of booking stained the last
third though and made it a subpar OMEGA event.
@#@#@#@#@#@# LLPW “The Biggest Show”
Commerical Tape - 7/14/94
(PHIL RIPPA!)
Wwwwwweeeeeeeeelllllllllllllll!!!!!! It is the
Biggest Show!!!!!!!!!! The Lovely Ladies of Professional Wrestling get
together and have a pretty neat supercard. We are really hitting the way
back machine here. Everyone is younger, still as fat, but younger.
Michiko Omukai vs. Chaparita ASARI
(AJW):
This match is horribly clipped. They tell me
it is 13 minutes long. I saw 3, max. There was some neat little stuff in
what I saw. They start a trend that will be continued all night long as
EVERYONE does a plancha off the top rope. ASARI gets the honors in this
match. I dug ASARI’s hand spring mule kick. Omukai wins with a some sort
of top rope Northern Lights Suplex which was fun to watch. Couldn’t tell
you how the rest of the match was but what I saw was fine.
Mitsuko Endo/Mikiko Futagami vs.
Tomoko Watanabe/Rie Tamada (APW):
Has Endo had bad hair ALL of her life? Someone
really needs to encourage her to stay away from the clippers. Just when
I want to dislike this match and start fast-forwarding, all the girls kick
it up a notch and suddenly we have a quaint little match going on. Nothing
blown. No one trying wrestle beyond their means. Endo and Futgami do this
cool Doctor Bomb/Foot Stomp finisher that ruled because whenever anyone
as portly as Endo is hurtling down off the top rope, you know it’s gotta
hurt.
Rumi Kazama/Carol Midori/Michiko
Nagashima vs. Nurse Nakamura/Miwa Sato/Yukie Nabeno (FMW): Midori
brings the wrestling. The other five bring the SUCK! God was this not good.
Midori is not going to part the Red Sea and she is not going to be able
to carry five wrestlers to a watchable match. Definitely a spotty match
especially when everyone wanders around aimless during a looooooonnnnnnnngggggggg
high spot train as everyone gets to hit the top rope plancha. This would
definitely be falling in the not good category.
Etsuko Mita/Mima Shimoda (AJW)
vs. Jenn Yukari/Miki Handa - UWA Tag Titles:
The girls from LLPW work WAY over their heads
in this one. Handa gets down on her knees and begs to be carried while
Yukari pretty much just stays out of the way which is most certainly a
good thing. Mita and Shimoda rock and if you could categorize the match
as a glorified squash but Handa and Yukari look credible and they were
a whole lot better than I have ever seen. Things flew by so I don’t really
remember specifics but there was a bunch of stuff that was enjoyable to
watch and Mita and Shimoda win with this great looking Death Valley Driver.
Megumi Kudo (FMW) vs. Yasha Kurenai:
Yasha still gives me a nice warm feeling inside
but she is like the 69th best women’s wrestler in the world so her matches
tend not to be pretty. This is no exception. I will give Yasha credit for
trying to have a fast paced match with Kudo but that just isn’t her cup
of tea. Plus, her ever present stick is a freakin’ NERF model. Oohh, I’m
poking you with a soft stick. But it’s not like Kudo was setting the house
on fire either. She mailed everything in, including doing the World’s Gentlest
Tiger Driver as her finisher. Highly Disappointing.
Harley Saito/Noriyo Tateno vs.
Kyoko and Takao Inoue (AJW):
Just so know one is confused, Takao is the thinner,
more attractive of the Inoue’s. Kyoko is the round one in the corner. It
is very weird for me to see Saito without her bleached blonde hair. This
match is really good. Kyoko busts out this freaky Indian Deathlock-Surfboard
mutation at the beginning of the match and that will make your head spin.
The Inoue’s stay in control for the first 5 minutes or so. Saito swings
Mr. Momentum into her teams favor by saving her partner from a clothesline
with a leg lariat (a spot that looks a lot better than my disjointed description).
The match degenerates into a spot fest but it still is enjoyable. Saito
and Tateno hits a sequence that consists of a Superplex followed up by
a double splash that was great. Saito takes a release top rope gutwretch
suplex thingy from Kyoko to continue to win me over. Stereo tiger suplexes
can’t get the win for the Inoues. Then Saito is able to manage a reverse
victory roll out of nowhere for the win. This match rocked.
Eagle Sawai vs. Combat Toyoda (FMW)
Now going to the other end of the spectrum. They
show the pre-match press conference which shows Sawai sporting a bum wheel
and a black eye. God, this match isn’t good. Combat thinks she is
about 250 pounds lighter than she really is as she tries to get all high
flying. Remember how I said that EVERYONE does the top rope plancha to
the floor. Well Combat does the Out of Control Big Fat Woman with Red Mohawk
plancha to the floor. Ugh. Toyoda wins with what is supposed to be some
sort of top rope powerbomb. What it really is, is Toyoda just kinda throws
Sawai off, flops down on her and gets the win. Bad, Bad match. Let us never
speak of it again.
Shinobu Kandori vs. Bull Nakano
(AJW) - Chain Death Match
Oh man, this is all sorts of good and brutal
and bloody and shit. Kandori comes into the match sporting a bandage over
her right eye. Gee, I wonder where she will be bleeding from. There isn’t
much to actually describe besides the fact that Kandori and Nakano do their
best to choke and bludgeon each other as best as they can. The chain is
like 100 feet long so there are lots of interesting hanging sequences that
take place. The best is when Kandori ties Nakano up in a tree of woe on
the outside of the ring. Or there was the time when Kandori ties Nakano
around the ring post by her neck and pulls for all that she is worth. Kandori
takes repeated punches to her wound and she goes from nothing to cut to
crimson mask in about 2.4 seconds. The camera work is great at catching
the horror up close. Nakano just starts to spontenously bleed (well not
really, but I missed the spot where she actually did start to bleed) so
she gets revenge by dropping Kandori square on her head and then hitting
two guillotine leg drops on the chain. Nakano gets the win, gets the trophy
and bleeds all over the ring. The match is not a technically beauty but
it is really fucking great for a chain match. Get your hands on this one.
!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@! TORYUMON ON GAORA!-
7/30/99- (DEAN RASMUSSEN!)
Glenn sez that this is the one preceding the
last one I reviewed last week, so keep that straight somehow.
Toryumon ain't afraid to serve up the wrestling, boyo.
Genki Horiguchi vs. Yasushi Kanda:
Genki is becoming so bomb-like in THIS- his first
year on our little TV screens. He and the also impressive-for -such-a-young-punk
Kanda have quite the rock-solid match, as they basically go all lucha and
Lucharesu midgrade for the first eight-or-so minutes- as they almost try
to tell a little story and feign whipping out the psychology and shit before
hauling out the highspots. Genki pulls out his Preposterous Gory-Special
Lite and also crushes Kanda with a Tumbly Senton thing off the toprope
into the ring. Meanwhile Kanda was all old School with the DiBiase Powerslam
and Boston Crab before succumbing to Horiguchi's far-more-elaborate-than-one-would-think
Rings Of Saturn Thingy. The impressive thing is that they made the
finish all hot and built up the finishers to a logical conclusion.
These two are gonna be good.
Yoshikazu Taru vs. Stalker Ichikawa:
I was figuring that this would be a crappy comedy
match like their previous match that aired. Luckily, this was actually
a lot better- as Stalker showed that he could bring the DEATH with the
rest of highspot-addled trainees of the Dragon. The match starts
off unpromising as Stalker gets a Drop Toe-hold in while getting the holy
hell beaten out of himself. Stalker does do the massively freaky
"I'm a Dying Insect" sell of a botched Moonsault and we all REVEL in the
stupid glory of the TRUE Stalker Ichikawa! He also pokes TARU in
the butt with his three-pronged poker and goes into the WHOLE NEW AREA
OF WRESTLING FOR YOU AND ME as he does all these Heinie-hurting moves sprinkled
throughout the match and- as they are getting to the finish- it dawns on
one that the psychology of the match is that Stalker is WORKING ON TARU's
big fat BUTT! In-between bringing the comic Ass-pain to TARU,
Stalker hits a SUPERBOSS Shiryu Tope that crushes everyone in the audience.
The ending is fun as TARU sells HIS ASS while figuring out a way finally
put away the little freak. Stalker hits huge wads of nifty roll-ups-
finally showing that he has real wrestling ability- and TARU finally figures
that he can get rid of Stalker by BEATING AND KICKING HIM TO DEATH so he
kicks his face in and Gory Bombs Stalker into oblivion. The pinning
predicament ties in WAAAAAAY to closely to the whole ASS THEME of the match
and I won't elaborate. This shit was all fucked up and YOU loved
it.
Magnum Tokyo/Arai/Saito vs. Shiima
Nobunaga/Sumo Fuji/Taru:
GODDAM! THIS fucking RULED! This match was total
perfection in the next step that the TORYUMON guys are taking past the
basic 1997 Michinoku Pro six-man as this was somehow EVEN HOTTER by the
end. The story of this one is the same as last weeks as TARU and
Magnum hate each other- and Magnum smokes everyboy on the entire Nation
of Japan in this match as he is ALL THINGS TO ALL WRESTLERS- he is the
most spectacular highflyer in the match as he hits a SWANK Asai Moonsault
and a motherfucking CHOICE Shooting Star Press for the finish; he is also
the Puroresu ASS-STOMPER as he and TARU bring the Stiff and beat the piss
out of each other and try to break each others neck in fun and exciting
ways. He was also the perfect Face as he shows his fighting spirit
and it burns inside him and stuff. He's fucking great and he's REALLY
fucking great in this match. The SUBTEXT of the match was that SHIIMa
and Arai really hate each other's guts and want to beat the hell out of
the other. Aria shows why he gets the push he gets despite looking
like a seedy W*ING audience member from 1994: he has the headbuttarific
offense that will PUT THE ASSES IN THE SEATS! one day- what with the Blind
Toprope Diving Headbutt that was set up by GROTESQUELY painful looking
toprope Jawbreaker that SHIIMa took like a MAN. They AAA the
SHIIMA plancha and other than that, SHIIMa plays perfect rudo- Rochambeauing
Saito and Aria at every opportunity and making Aria's offense look absolutely
TOP-DRAWER. SHIIMA motherfucking rules too. SUWAI was all about
extending the match- hitting Magnum with a crutch here and knocking him
off the toprope with a chair there. This was a lot of stuff, frantically
set out and perfectly placed somehow. YOU WANT ALLLLL THIS.
Taka Michinoku vs. Chocoball Kobe:
TAKA pretty much squashes the beautifully named
Chocoball- as this is pretty much an excuse for SUWAI to show Michinoku
Pro Boy who the REAL PUNK-ASS BASTARD OF JAPAN is- and his name is SUWAI.
SUWAI throws him through a bunch of chairs, busts him up some and holds
him while Chocoball gives him the business. TAKA gets back in the
ring, hits a fat ass Springbaord Plancha, killing both Choco and SUWAI
and then MICHINOKU drives II Chocoball to his great reward.
I still can't believe Chocoball doesn't have a mask. First Punch
Power and now THIS!
Sasuke/Magnum Tokyo/Tiger Mask/Arai
vs. Shiima/Fuji/Sasuke the Great/Taru:
HEY! This is really great TOO! It's a lot
like the six-man except this seems to have been booked by Shakespeare because
EVERYBODY dies by the time it's over. Sasuke continues his funfilled
wild resurgence as he is CLASSIC Sasuke- suicidal in the air, fun on the
mat, fun running the ropes. Arai whips all the highspots I mentioned
in the six-man match but he also did a cool Firebird Splash that I forgot
to mention in Six-man. The story of this is that Sumo wants to take
out Magnum- so it isn't as fun as TARU and Magnum killing each other, but
it does allow TigerMask 4 and TARU to kick the hell out of each other and
THAT's something worth seeing. The match is basically the same as
the one above but without the stronger match-ups and cool dual hatred angle-
but the added support of Sasuke hitting a P H A T A S S Tope
Con Hilo and TM4 kicking folks right in the frickin' face made it a big
enough change of pace to warrant them showing both of these matches on
the same show. GET ALL THIS cuz IT'S GOOOD.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
I used
to think that you didn't care but that would never get me anywhere SINGLESGOINGSTEADY!
Something about you made me want you more
%%%%%%%%%%%%################################
TONY RIVERA/MR. AGUILA/ANTIFAZ DEL NORTE vs.
ZUMBIDO/VIOLENCIA/REY BUCANERO- EMLL Arena Mexico 9/10/99; aired in US
9/18/99- (POGO PETE!)
Hey kids, remember when THE BIG TWO thought it'd
be kooky and fun if they both tried to run lucha TV shows for their Latino
friends north of the border? You know, before WCW thought it'd be
more productive for Sucko Sid to squash two former CMLL Heavyweight champeens
at once and the WWF simply got bored with the concept? I was starting
to wonder what happened with that while watching the six guys above TEAR
THE ROOF off this mamajama last night. Rudo caida to start the match
as Vio slams Tony on the rampway while Bucanero and Zumbido give Aguila
and Antifaz what for. Rivera tags to Aguila but Zumbido takes him
out with a kneecap dropkick and his partners hit an assisted reverse Tiger
Driver (Daniels move) to KO him. Rivera heads back in only for Bucanero
(sporting the SWINGIN' 1991 Vampiro facepaint) and Vio to drop him, then
to hoist him onto their shoulders so Zumbido can hit him with a springboard
dropkick. Fall ends with the wonderfully absurd triple-pin as Vampanero
and Vio grapevine Tony's arms and do a double-gun pose while Zumbido slaps
on a figure-four; Vampanero then takes out Antifaz with a senton and Zumbido
crushes Aguila with a Gorry Special-into-facebuster combo. The demolition
continues into the second fall as Vampanero toasts Aguila with a tope atomico
but the tecs finally take over by booting Vampanero as he tries to slap
a scorpion on Aguila. Zumbido and Vio knock Tony and Antifaz down,
only to take stereo Jerry Bumps outside off the inevitable monkey-flips;
Tony then hits Zumbido with a tope while Aguila simultaneously hits his
Fuero De Aguila on Vio. Amidst the carnage Antifaz hits the ICONOCLASM!!!
on Vampanero, adds a tornillo elbow and slaps on a leglock for the submission.
Zumbi-zumbi-zumbiDOWski! has apparently decided that just killing himself
isn't enough for one match, so he proceeds to take out one of the cameramen
off another Jerry Bump in the third fall. Third fall is a beehive
with tons of spots. Aguila soon ejects Vio, charges the corner and
hits an INSANE tope con hilo over the post onto Vio. Vampanero follows
with a rolling plancha con hilo onto Aguila. Antifaz (wearing the
next Highspots best-seller: black Antifaz mask with silver trim) follows
with a rolling tope atomico onto Vampanero. This leaves Zumbido with
Tony who quickly slaps on a Gorry Special; Zumbido starts to submit but
instead rolls through into a sunset-flip, but the refs don't count it since
they apparently thought Zumbido already gave up the ghost. They let
the match go on and Zumbido slams Tony, adding a tornillo elbow.
He heads up top and goes for a moonsault; Tony moves and Zumbido lands
on his feet anyway, but Tony instantly hits a Frankenstein for the pin.
INSANELY great match. Rey Bucanero is going to be CMLL Heavyweight
champion inside of 5 years if there is a lucha god... then again, the fact
that this made TV should confirm His or Her existence.
~!~
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YOUR WRESTLER OF THE WEEK- GENICHIRO
TENRYU
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
GENICHIRO TENRYU vs. KEIJI MUTOH
(1998 G1 Climax 1st Round, 7/31/98)
(POGO PETE STEIN):
Truth be told, I was originally going to review
the Tenryu-Yokozuna match from WAR... then I realized that I also had this
on tape. Besides, I'm currently fasting and I most likely would've
broken something at this stage if I had to see it. =/ Tenryu's
got such a great gimmick at this point in his career... it's like he's
doing a more smug Mr. Wrestling II grumpy bastard from Mid-South with 100
times more attitude and none of the accompanying histrionics. He's
gonna kick your ass, then send you to your room... and he soon drives this
point home by taking Mutoh down and kicking him right in the face to some
*solar* heel heat from the crowd. He then walks off with this smug
grin on his face, and you can FEEL THE HATE. Match picks up with
Tenryu dropping an elbow on Mutoh's chronically bad knee which pisses him
off, and we get a flurry that ends when each guy takes a backdrop from
his opponent and no-sells it. Tenryu takes over with a series of
punches that the crowd hates for some reason, then sets Mutoh on top and
hits a Tenryu Cutter. He follows up with more punches, then goes
to the chops when Mutoh starts to make his comeback. Tenryu whips
Mutoh to the ropes, but Mutoh rolls through and hits a dropkick.
He follows up with an elbow that sends Tenryu outside then follows with
a pescado. Tenryu comes back by whipping Mutoh into the guardrail
and climbs up top, but Mutoh meets him there... the two trade shots until
Mutoh grabs Tenryu and hits a Mutoh Cutter TO THE FLOOR. That's a
damn crazy bump for any 48-year-old to take. Mutoh rolls back inside,
only to head back out and dragon screw Tenryu's knee. Tenryu heads
back in at which point Mutoh hits a kneecap dropkick and two more dragon
screws. He goes for the figure-four; Tenryu blocks it, but it's Evil
Mutoh in there now and rather than conch it in he sits there and does the
Wolfpack thingy with his hand. He eventually locks it on but Tenryu
reverses it and Mutoh breaks it. The two trade punches and kicks
until Mutoh drops Tenryu, then heads up top and connects with a missile
dropkick when Tenryu gets up. Mutoh sets Tenryu on top and hits a
top-rope dragon screw then immediately goes back to the figure-four, but
Tenryu eventually makes the ropes. Mutoh whips Tenryu to the buckles
and goes for the handspring elbow but Tenryu chops him at Ground Zero.
He hits the ropes only for Mutoh to hit a Frankenstein for a super-hot
near-fall. Tenryu comes back with a lariat and a powerbomb for near-falls,
slams Mutoh and comes off the top with a diving elbow for 2 (this is hilarious
as commentator Tsuji appears to pull his groin calling Tenryu coming off
the top. Mutoh reverses another powerbomb try into a Frankenstein
for 2; Tenryu goes for it again but Mutoh punches his way out of it.
Mutoh goes for the dragon screw but Tenryu comes back with the enzuigiri.
He hits the powerbomb one last time; Mutoh appears to kick out and the
crowd goes nuts, but the bell rings and Tenryu gets the win to a "WTF?!"
reaction from the crowd. Great match even with the FUBAR'd finish...
Tenryu would go on to have the war with Hashimoto the following day before
reality began to set back in for him.
Genichiro Tenryu vs. Jumbo Tsuruta:
(PHIL SCHNEIDER).
Many consider this one of the top matches of
the 1980's. It was certainly damn good, although I prefer the Jumbo v.
Hansen matches around the same timeframe. A lot of the body of the match
has Tsuruta working from a chinlock, and both guys exchanging STRIKES!
The middle of this match kind of dragged although the ending was super-hot.
With Tenryu knocking Tsuruta to the floor and hitting a sweet tope, then
while Tsuruta tries to get back in the ring, Tenryu splats him with a lariet
which catches his leg in the ropes. They go back into the ring for a nearfall
sequence, before Tsuruta KILLS Tenryu with a Paul Wight is too fat for
me to lift style powerbomb. People have compared this match favorably to
the Flair v. Steamboat match which was the same time period, but I am unconvinced
(unless they are talking about another, better Tsuruta v. Tenryu and then
I am humbled, don't flame me JDW). The ending was really great and really
hot, but the first section was really slow and pretty heatless. They also
didn't convey the same sense of drama that Steamboat v. Flair did, although
the MOVESET! was of a higher vintage. However this match clearly shows
that Tenryu was a top flight worker in his prime.
Genichiro Tenryu/ The Road Warriors
vs. Steve Williams/Kevin Sullivan/ Mike Rotunda- 1989 Chi-Town Rumble
(or something):
(RASMUSSEN)
I figured that this match would go a long way
to explain why Tenryu is a non-entity to the average American wrestling
fan while the lesser wrestler- the Great Muta - is considered legendary
by most fans of wrestling in the US. The comparisons are quite startling
when you think about it. let's compare!
-MUTA: Big push to a TV title feud with STING
in after a cool-ass Memphis FIREBALL and GREEN MIST-saturated feud with
Eddie Gilbert.
-TENRYU: One Shitty, Ole Anderson-booked PPV
appearance as the opponents to the team that lock Sting, Junkyard Dog and
Micheal PS Hayes in some kind of fence thing that they all happened to
be standing in while being interviewed by the almost life-like Bob Caudell.
-MUTA: Cool entrance with the facepaint and the
hood (that load Gary Hart would pull off )
-TENRYU: Basic Silk Jacket that is totally overshadowed
by crappy useless Road Warriors' Shoulder pads with spikes.
- MUTA: Several opportunities to get over his
fabulously cool-ass-at-the-time Power Driver Elbow, Springboard Elbow and
the first Stateside Moonsault ever.
-TENRYU: One dropkick and one crappy Enzuiguiri
on the fading Mike Rotundo, seconds before they cut to Doug Dillon trying
to cut the lock on the fence-thing holding the late JYD and crew at bay.
The rest of the match is a series of sequences where you get to see RW
Animal comically try to sell the arm. Tenryu is denied the House
of Fire, the Donniebrook is listless as he is saddled trying to get PS
Hayes to hit him one-ninth as hard as Tsuruta would have, and WCW booking
does for him what WCW booking did for the vastly talented Yuji Nagata.
-MUTA: Saddled with fat sweaty useless Gary Hart.
-TENRYU: Saddled with roided-out, no-selling
Road Warriors.
-MUTA: TV title and hot Funk Family feud.
-TENRYU: Crappy SHMOZ! as Sting and the boys
storm the ring and... then it's over.
Tenryu the more consistent worker is lost to US wrestling obscurity while Muta goes on to become the laziest wrestler this side of Hulk Hogan. Blame Ole. Also- Kevin Sullivan ALWAYS sucked. So did the Road Warriors. So there.
~!~
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NEXT WEEK: GAEA!
New NOW! Some sort way to mention that wrestling from the Phillipines I
got! LUCHA LUCHA LUCHA! and the return opf the reverend.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
the DEATH VALLEY PLAYBOYS.
six fists in the face of wrestling.
My life is Jesus and Tequila- I'm
satisfied and I can't deny it.
- The Minutemen
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