|
|
Hiya, We're all united and the mom jokes are bottled
up in our individual souls- fermenting inside each of us like a horrible
Incubus! and we're all WEEEKLY! ( WHOMP ASS~! ) now so expect differing
lengths and differing line-ups but constant freakish slavery to quality
wrestling tapes- for YOU, the beloved and cheriched gentle reader.
Schneider had an idea of doing five matches from a different wrestler every
week- as a change of pace (sorta like the old WE WANT FLAIR section we
used to- actually) so every week we will review five matches- with no hard
and fast criteria- so it will be all wild and shit. Ray and Pogo
Pete comtinue to not send me the FMW PPV and THEN taunt me with a REVIEW
of it, the MoFacks. Schneider opted to for GAEA because if
IIIII did another consecutive slathering GAEA review, DVDVR readerdom assembled
would blow oats all over their shoes and you don't want that, prolly.
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..........
~$~
#$#$#$#$#$#$ IRWG TV-3/28/99-
(DEAN RASMUSSEN)
IRWG is quite the Andrew Ridgely to TORYUMON's
George Michael in Ultimo Dragon's whole WHAM! wrestling metaphor, so to
speak (i guess). Whereas TORYUMON seems to do no wrong and is The
Coolest Promotion On Earth That Isn't Called BattlARTS, IRWG is usually
a comical display of horrendous Lucha Libre containing some of the most
untalented shmoes to don the mask and cat suit doing everything wrong.
but every now and then they pump something out that is cool and ESPN2 Latino
captures it for posterity and this had the cool as crud Dr Cerebro on it
so I traded young Adam for it and now my TV is all aglow...
Zonick vs. Mr. Cobra:
Zonick- for whatever reason- has an outfit that
borrows liberally from EMLL ne'er-do-well Foreign Exchange. This match
is so inept and loose that you will long for the stiffness, grace and precision
of a Sicodelico vs Mocha Cota Tilt. Actually, they both do a cool preposterous
roll-up- including a nifty El Dandino variation by Zonik for the win.
Okay, not totally worthless, but pretty close.
Fantasy/Genki Horiguchi vs. Stoker
Ichikawa/Rokambole Jr.:
Stoker is in this so it ALREADY rules it to the
hundreds of thousands of stars zone. The match itself is pretty ass-tastic
and craparific- as Fantasy and Rokanbole not only have haplessly fourth-rate
masks (Fantasy is basically cardboard and Reynolds wrap) but have
a midgrade WWO-undercard workrate that doesn't take them to that SPECIAL
place- that place of Lucha watchability. Horiguchi- who looks to
be the next good worker to be pumped out by the Ultimo Dragon Machine-
and Stoker take the mediocrity to heart as they mail in half of this match
and blow every spot in the other half of this match. The finish to
the first Caida is botched to Nightstalker vs Sid Vicious lengths of ineptitude
by Rokie and Fantasy. These guys are SOOOOOOOO not ready for Prime
Time.
Los Super Payasos/Slayer vs. Mercurio/Rey
Cuervo/ (TORYUMON-version AND SOOOO NOT Masaaki) Mochizuki:
I don't even like REAL actual Ha-Ha type Clowns
OR the REAL WRESTLING PAYASOS- so imagine my illogical loathing for these
pseudo-Payasos. With that in mind, think of how shocking this statement
coming out of my Cybermouth is: These Super Payasos RULE! This
match is really goofball great. The first Caida has all this
cool ass armdrag action with both Payasos and Rey Cuervobeating my ass
with cool ass in-ring lucha magic- as Cuervo is quite the Rudo's Rudo and
I'm pretty convinced that he is a REmasked Mirabunta- because he rules
it hard with the old school offense and new school bumps. Slayer
gets the duke of the first caida by getting Tvasnm Mochizuki in the Tijuana
Pendulum Hold and we all party and freak out. The second Caida is
all about the Star and Tunnel To Pin the Three Guys Who have My Two Partners
In A Preposterous LegLock Pyramid and the SWANKY Dog pile pin- as this
blows the lid off the goofymeter. For some reason they didn't show a caida
so that was actually the end. This was all kinds of great.
Micke Segura/Multifacetico/Ultimo
Vampiro vs. Dr. Cerebro/Star Boy/Punch Power:
HEY! Dr. Cerebro isn't wearing the Jerry Garcia's
Brain Tie-dyed Mask in this as he opts for the pink brain being offset
by the duel American Medical Insignias. Punch Power is was all stoked
about seeing back in the day when I first heard his odd name- figuring
that this kid HAS to have a freaky mask with such a freaky moniker- but
alas he (and the freakily named Star Boy) are both sans mask, so my hope
and joy are lessened a bit. Ultimo Vampiro has a great Mexico-Goes-All-Goth
outfit and has shown the ability to take a fat bump despite his substantial
shortcomings as an overall luchadore. Mickey Segura is quite the budding
star as he is all flashy and graceful when high-flying and makes the first
caida work as he and Dr Cerebro threaten to totally have the Lucha freak-out
but they limit it in the first caida. Multifacetico has the truly magnificent
banana yellow outfit with giant "M"s etched across it, but he isn't that
good, despite the fact that I would definately wear that get-up to work
every single day of my life. The first Caida is actually pretty happening
as Cerebro bumps like a freak, Ultimo Vampire hits one of his beautiful
topes and Segura runs up the ropes and hits a really beautiful Cross-Body
Block. Power Punch and Star Boy are quite passable rudos in a Leon
Negro sense of Lucha Right-In-The-Middle-Of-All-Lucha sense. The
ending is motherfucking great as they do this 54 step set-up where Star
Boy has his head between MultiF's legs while somehow Doc Cerebro ends up
on Star Boys back as Segura gets him in a totally goofed-out La Tapatia
(or Mexican Cieling Hold if you will) as Dr Cerebro calls the ending and
what you get is Latin Fat Albert-style Game Of Buck-Buck with preposterous
submissions on top. REALIZE NOW THAT DR CEREBRO IS YOUR ONE TRUE GOD~!
The second caida is a dog's breakfast of lucha cliches- with a the
crappy rudo caida giving way to the old standby fave of each person in
the match getting a comical submissions and then the person making the
save gets the former submission procurer in a submission hold- but
for some reason we never get to see Dr Cerbro go for one his patentedly
outlandish submissions- as the match goes into a batch of disarray and
Triple A'ed highspots until Ultimo Vampiro hits the tres Swank Slingshot
Powerbomb for the Second straight Technico fall. I was hoping to
see more of what this highly-touted Segura could do and I wanted to see
the usually Dos Caras-cum-Villano 3-cum-Blue Panther-inspired matwork by
Cerebro, so I wasn't overly down with this match. It was good enough
in spots, but it wasn't life-threateningly great either. I dunno.
A whole Dr Cerebro match without a Dr Cerebro submission ain't good.
Kato Kung Lee/ Moonwalker/ Mr. Niebla
II/ El Brazo/ Brazo de Platino/ Brazo Cibernetico vs. Maniac Cop/ Oficial/
Guardia/ Fireman/ Bombero Infernal
(*Guerra Sin Escape (combination battle royal-lumberjack
match): These rudos ain't so good. Bombero Infernal is deeply
in the realm of Cien Caras bad. Maniac Cop has a cool mask at least- but
hell, Cibernetico has a cool mask but did you EVER need to see him attempt
to wrestle. This match was pretty hideous- by design: It starts as
a Battle Royal and- HEY!- battle royals suck- unless it's a WCW Cruiserweight
Battle Royal and everybody is trying creatively kill themselves dead- and
this ain't that. When they whittle down to tag match, it becomes
a lumberjack match- and- HEY!- Lumberjack matches suck. Add to the equation
of stinky the fact the final four standing are El Brazo, Bombero Infernal,
Maniac Cop, and whatever they call their Salsero knockoff. FOUR screwy
endings later and Pseudo-Salsero wins by DQ. BOY! This was
STINKY! PEEEEEE! YOOOOOOOO!
~*~
!@!@!@!@!@!@! GAEA G-PANIC MAY-
(PHIL SCHNEIDER)
Since GAEA has more complex booking then any
league this side of 1983 Memphis- let me give you a quick rundown
of the events preceding this show. Mayumi Ozaki and her cadre of vixenish
OZ Academites (Sugar Sato, Karoui Nakayama and Chiyako Nagashima) have
joined forces with the evil Lioness Aska , Aja Kong and Etsuko Mita and
Mima Shimoda to form the Superstar Unit (SSU). SSU have taken the advantage
in the battle over the future of GAEA and conversely Joshi Puroresu and
then the world, at the GAEA 4th anniversary show when SSU leader Lioness
Aska defeated her former Crush Gals tag partner and GAEA founder Chigusa
Nagayo, to take control of the league. SSU redecorated and took over the
book. At the time of this show the plucky youngsters of GAEA (Sakura Hirota,
Toshie Uematsu, Sonoko Kato, Meiko Satamura) with some veteran assistance
( KAORU, Toshiyo Yamada, Chigusa) are attempting to regain control of the
promotion they love.
Chigusa Nagayo vs Karoui Nakayama:
This match was booked by Lioness to humiliate
Chigusa by making her wrestle in the opening match against SSU job girl
and former Shark Tsuchiya cutlet Nakayama. Despite being a angle driven
squash match, this was actually some okay wrestling. Nakayama attacks from
behind, and starts doing the corner punch, Chigusa immediately turns that
into the running powerbomb (which is her finisher) however Nakayama turns
that into a rana, for a near fall, Chigusa rolls through that and slaps
on a nasty Rings of Saturn for the 1 minute submission. Pretty good for
a squash.
Sonoko Kato vs. Lioness Aska/Sugar
Sato:
Aska and Sato beat up Sonoko to prove their evilness.
Short and uneventful.
Lioness Aska/ Mima Shimoda/ Mayumi
Ozaki vs. Meiko Satamura/ Sonoko Kato/ KAORU:
This match was the WAY. These are arguably
the six best workers in GAEA (I think Nagashima is a little better then
Kato, and Yamada is better than Shimoda, but an argument can be made)
and this match was even better then the LCO v. Yamada/ KAORU match from
4/4 which has gotten some MOTYC buzz. While that match was sort of a tricked
out ECW match, this was a standard wrestling match with only a couple of
garbage spots. Aska is on quite the wrestling hot streak as she was kicking
ass all through this match, punting people in the face, dropping then on
their heads and just being an all around mean bitch. KAORU was rocking
too, busting out a ton of moonsault variations (including a freaked out
twisting moonsault senton which is both beautiful and hurty looking) and
a top drawer running Excalibur. Meiko Satamura and Sonoko Kato did a bunch
of neat tag combo moves including a boss backlflip kick into a dragon suplex.
Kato took the Sonoko Kato table bump, where Lioness Aska places a folded
table legs down on Kato's stomach and gives her a double stomp, turning
her fallopian tubes into fruit roll ups. The ending is fun as all heck
and golly as the GAEA gals to a triple finisher spot, and then the all
brawl to the floor and let KAORU and Shimoda go at it. After missing
a moonsault, KAORU falls victim to the top rope Harlem Hangover on a standing
KAORU , which was banging. This match is 1999 Women's match of the year
so far.
Lioness Aska vs. Sonoko Kato:
Joshi Puroresu has a tremendously hierarchical
system. Matches between Veteran wrestlers and young stars are often
squashes with the veteran refusing to sell the offense of the younger star,
or refusing to sell for a wrestler that isn't on their level (for an example
of this check out the suckass Meiko Satamura v. Manami Toyota match) .
What makes this match so great, is that Lioness Aska one of the legends
of women's wrestling, and one the biggest current stars, works a competitive
match with a much younger less experienced wrestler. Aska lays out a big
beating in the beginning, but Kato keeps fighting back. They do the Kato
table spot, and any chance of Sonoko having my ... I mean any children
is eliminated. Then Meiko runs in to counter the SSU interference and Sonoko
gets a bunch of near falls with a Dragon Suplex, and a choke sleeper. Then
end is pretty great as Aska hits a huge kick to Kato's face, and gives
her multiple powerombs, after each powerbomb, Kato gets back up, not no
selling them however as she is nearly dead after each move. Finally Aska
gets a rotation powerbomb for the win. Great match, which really
elevated Kato, even though she lost.
Toshie Uematsu/ Sakura Hirota/Toshiyo
Yamada vs Mima Shimoda/ Etsuko Mita/ Chikayo Nagashima:
The big story of this match, was the rivalry
between Nagashima and Hirota. The match was based around the veteran members
of each team trying to get the youngsters a pin, as Yamada and Los Carochous
Orientalas just kick ass and didn't go for many pins. Hirota ain't at the
level of the other 5 wrestlers in the match, and the focus on her hurt
the match quality, LCO was kind of dogging it, although Nagashima looked
good as usually. Match highlights include a sweet Hokuto tope-con-hilo
by Nagashima, and a swank spin kick by Yamada. Hirota rolls through a Nagashima
pin and gets the win to continue her big, and sort of undeserved push.
Battle Royal :
This match had SSU and Hirota in it, and was
all whimsical and comedic, and sucked way more then all the hate filled
wrestling which proceeded it.
Sugar Sato/ Mima Shimoda vs. Toshie
Uematsu/ Meiko Satemura:
Sort of a lackluster finish to a great show.
Satamura and Sugar were ruling it, but Shimoda sucked ass in this match,
delivering one crap chair move after another, like Rob Van Damn with out
the highspots. I sort of don't dig LCO, they have been in some great
matches (the cage match v. Ito and Watanabe is off the hook) but to often
they fall back on the same crappy brawling spots in every match, this match
was rail ride free, but that spot sucks balls. Satamura is
the best young women's wrestler in the world, but there are better matches
which she is in and shit.
~@~
#$#$#$#$#$#$ FRONTIER MARTIAL-ARTS
WRESTLING PPV - 11/20/98- (REV RAY DUFFY!)
FMW's spruced up their lighting and stage stuff
for the PPV. The problem is that there's a lot of empty seats in
the arena. Still, it looks nice.
Flying Kid Ichihara vs. Rey Buccenaro
Buccenaro was in Japan for the Battlarts PPV
and score himself a slot on the FMW PPV. It's odd, but Rey is listed
in the graphics as a WWF wrestler despite the fact he wrestles without
the mask for them as Rey "Pirata" Ortiz (I think). This is pretty
heatless from the crowd in the early part. Rey takes to Psicosis
head first slide to nowhere to go outside the ring. Kid tries to
do the spot where he gets back dropped up, does a handstand on the and
then lands on the guy on the floor and does a head scissors. Kid
loses his balance and Rey saves him from killing himself by catching him
and they do the spot from more or less a tombstone position. This
was really... eh. I think without any crowd heat, it hurt the match.
Rey wins by turning a Kid top rope rana into a superbomb.
Kaori Nakayama/Ricky Fuji vs. Go
Ito/Hido
You know, it's kind of sad when a manager is
probably the second or third best worker in the match. Clips leading
up have Ito hanging out with the FMW Commissioner's 16 or 17 year old daughter.
Easy there, Jerry Lee. Koari comes out dressed like Sabu. Apparently
she said she'd be there with bells on... and she is. Fuji and Nakayama
come out to Fuji's song with his girl band. Hido and Ito come out
to "Gonna Fly Now" from Rocky, looking somber until they get to the end
of the ramp, then another song comes up and the commish's daughter comes
out blowing bubbles. Hido and Fuji start off and do nothing of note.
Ito gets tagged in and runs away from Fuji until getting caught and bumping
around like a fiend. Fuji and Hido do a long uninteresting segment
until we finally get Kaori and Go in the ring. Go gets beat up a
it and bumps well for Kaori until Hido hits her from behind and Go gets
in some offense. Including a camel clutch spot where he and Hido
smack her around. Hido attempts to do a chairshot on Kaori, but Fuji
covers her to take the shot. Hido beat on Fuji for a while and Ito
tags in again. He hits a springboard splash that finds nothing but
knees and then Kaori works him over again. Hido tries to save him,
but Fuji stops him. They got dueling noogies and sterio Kamakazis
by the faces. Fuji gets Hido in the scorpion, but Ito throws powder in
his face for the save. Ito and Kaori mix it up again. She flips
out of a german suplex attempt and attempts a rana which turns into the
wold's softest powerbomb. Ito claim's he's going to do the scorpio
splash, but gets crotched on the top rope. Kaori hits a rana of the
top rope which sort of gets blown and Kaori almost is on the recieving
end of the Kawada death driver from January. Kaori hits her swinging
DDT for two and pulls up Ito and decks him, trying to get the win with
a punch, but Hido saves the pin. Hido takes out Fuji and piledrives
Kaori, rolling Go on top to get the pin. Go was surprisingly good
and bumped like a fiend. It would have been a lot better if Kaori
got more time in the match. Oh yeah. Hido still sucks.
But, he's banging Kudo and I'm not. Life ain't fair.
"Mr. Double Cross" Koji Nakagawa
vs. Hisakatsu Ohya :
This starts off witha real surreal bit where
Ohya is standing at the waterfront staring off at the harbor when a ball
rolls over by him and a little kid runs over to retreive it. Ohya
gives the kid the ball, pats them on the head and smiles. The crowd
got a chuckle out of it and it's one of those weird goofy bits.
The match itself doesn't really live up to the promos as it's solid if
unspetacular. Ohya's leg is taped up and it gets worked over a little
bit during the match. Ohya pretty much controls except for a few
spots. Nakagawa tried to use the bell hammer at one point but only found
the post and then got hit with an enzugiri driving him face first into
the post. Ohya busts him open. Ohya has him in the octopus hold but
lets him go. Ohya with the back drop and then a enzugiri into the corner
where Nakagawa's jacket is. Nakagawa grabs his fork (he's been using
that as his gimmick), throws the jacket on the ref, fork attack to the
throat, headbutt to the groin and a jacknife hold seal the deal for Nakagawa.
Post match, Ohya beats up the referee.
Diasuke Ikeda/Mohammed Yone/Ricky
Fuji/Naohiro Yamazaki vs. Shoichi Funaki/TAKA Michinoku/"Super Fly" Gedo/"Stan"
Jado :
Yet another reason to love Ikeda... the fact
he uses "Fight For Your Right to Party". TAKA and Funaki were mystery
partners, Funaki greets the announcer J. Taro with a "We're here motherfucker!".
Gedo and Jado leave the women's room before heading to the ring.
Jado is now doing a Stan Hansen gimmick, complete with borrowing his theme
song. This match wasn't as good as it could have been. TAKA
was being surley and stuff, but it was a very american style match.
It would have been a lot better if Ikeda and Yone were kicking people in
the face and TAKA and Funaki thought they were working for M-Pro 3 years
ago. Gedo ends up getting the win with the "Super Fly" Splash.
One Man Gang vs. Sabu vs. Yukihiro
Kanemura - 3 Way Dance
Hey, Gang's lost a lot of weight. Kanemura
has a video piece before hand with stock footage of Africa and Kanemura
doing squats bare assed and with a peice of tag over his groin, which Gedo
tries to steal. Freakin' weird. Gang yells a lot and over powers
Kanemura and Sabu early on. They work on his legs a little. Gang
teases a plancha spot, but it's a fake as he rolls out to the floor. Sabu
hits a triple jump plancha on both guys. Gang counters a Sabu spring
leg lariat attempt with a back suplex. Gang is first to go after
a sunset flip by Sabu as Kanemura's first attempt didn't get him over.
Kanemura attacks Sabu with a table and tries to put him through it with
a dive from the post to the floor, but Sabu gets up and body slams him
off through the table. Kanemura juices following a spike attack from
Sabu, but he no sells some broken table shots to the head and hits a twister
slam. Kanemura diving senton gets two. Kanemura fills the ring
with chairs and goes for another top rope move but gets ranaed onto the
chairs. Sabu hits a triple jump moonsault for two. They do
a duel of a row of chairs which ends when Kanemura knocks the chair out
of Sabu's hand but gets hit with a low drop kick. Sabu wins with the arabian
facebuster off the top rope. This match was really just there.
Tetsuhiro Kuroda vs. Mr. Gannosuke
Gannosuke's return following his injury after
dropping the double titles to Hayabusa. He comes out in an outfit
similiar to Shinzaki's except in all black. They take it to the mat
early with Gannosuke working the leg. Gannosuke teases doing the
Shinzaki rope walk but gets caught and Kuroda drops him face first on the
turnbuckles. They go out to the ramp. Kuroda with a DDT and a 50
yard jumping knee. He tries for a 50 yard lariat but Gannosuke catches
his arm and turns it into a 25 yard running armbar takedown, driving Kuroda
face and shoulder first into the ramp. They go back tot he ring and
Gannosuke works the arm over. Kuroda survives the arm attacks and goes
to work on one of Gannosuke's legs, I'm assuming it was the one that was
injured. They get into a spot where they double lariat each other,
with Gannosuke countering one attempt with the Gannosuke clutch for two
and then a Northern Lights Suplex for two. Kuroda does the Kobashi get
dropped on your head answer with a lairat spot. Kuroda comes back with
a rolling german into a dragon suplex combo for two and then hits Gannosuke
with is own move, Fire Thunder for a 2. Gannosuke avoids 2 lariats
only to get hit with a third for another near fall. Gannosuke escapes a
tombstone attempt and turns it into Fire Thunder for two. This gets
all New Japan-esque as they start busting out a million lariats.
Gannosuke does the praying bomb for two and then puts Kuroda away with
his new move which is sort of a combo of a full nelson and a camel clutch.
A solid wrestling match. Post match, Kanemura confronts Gannosuke
who just walks away.
They show clips of the big "Come Out and Play" match between Team No Respect and the Phoenix Group.
Mr. Pogo vs. Atsushi Onita :
Pogo comes out with Nakamaki. This was
after Great Kojika apparently kicked Nakamaki's ass at a Big Japan show.
This was also Onita's last FMW show. Pogo looks winded walking down
to the ring. Onita beats up Pogo a bunch. Pogo looks totally blown
up. Onita tries to do a piledriver on a table, but the table gives
one and pogo basically falls all the way to the mat. Pogo busts out
the ginsu 2000 and carves up Onita's arm and shoulder. He breaks
a piece of bamboo and goes over him with that. Nakamaki interferes and
gets beat up by Sasaki, the ex-sumo FMW undercard guy. This gets
comical as Pogo tries to do a running face buster but it ends with him
more or less falling down then actually doing the move well. Onita
shields himself from a fire attack with a chair, hits Pogo, hits him with
two face busters onto a chair. Onita uses a crutch on Pogo and hits
one more facebuster on the chairs for the win as it seemed like Pogo's
heart was going to explode if he had to do anything else in the match.
Post match, Team Zero (Sasaki,Gosaku and Hosaka) come out and Onita gives
them a going away spit water in the face.
Hayabusa vs. Kodo Fuyuki :
Double Titles match :
Busa starts by working on Fuyuki's arm early.
After about 5 minutes of this, Fuyuki gets an opening while in an armlock
and goes after Hayabusa's leg. They go out to the floor and Fuyuki
gains control, whipping Busa into the railings and then hitting a fisherman
buster on the floor and then using some chair shots. Back in the
ring, Fuyuki with another fisherman buster for a two. Fuyuki with
a Northern Lights Suplex for a two and it looks like the fat boy has brought
his working boots to something other than the all you can eat buffet. Fuyuki
gets another two following an inverted facelock suplex off the second rope.
Fuyuki with a powerbomb for another two. Banana Panic into the stretch
plum which Busa rope saves out of. Fuyuki misses a corner charge
and gets back dropped to the floor and gets a quebrada for his troubles.
Busa hits a drop kick off the top rope to Fuyuki's arm and hits cross armbreaker.
Leg lariat gets a two for busa, as does a fisherman buster and a firebird
splash. Busa goes after the arm again. Busa goes up top again,
but Fuyuki catches him and hits the cretin lucha cradle neckbreaker than
Damian uses. Busa avoids the Banana Panic and kicks Fuyuki out to
the floor and hits a springboard plancha. Busa misses a spring leg
drop on Fuyuki, but catches Fuyuki in mid air with a drop kick as he goes
for a body press. Busa hits a Tiger Driver for a two following a release
German. Fuyuki comes uip with a weird roll up to counter the dragon
suplex once, but gets hit with one before he drops Busa with a lariat.
Busa gets caught on the top rope, Fuyuki climbs up and after nearly killing
himself once, hits a powerbomb off the top rope. Fuyuki tries to
follow up with a suplex type move, but Busa diamond cutters out of it.
Hayabusa with a tiger suplex for a two. Fuyuki avoids the phoenix
splash and hits the Banana Panic for a two. Busa gets dropped across
the top and lariated for a two and one final lariat seals the deal.
This is probably the best match Fuyuki has been involved in in years.
Seriously, this was good. I remember hearing that Fuyuki won the
title and I was like "What the hell?", but he did put on a good showing.
~&~
%^%^%^%^%^%^%^% JWP TV- Taped 1-9-94,
2-11-94 Tokyo Korakuen Hall- (POGO PETE STEIN!)
It's the feel-good portion of DVDVR 101 as we
take you back to JWP in its prime, hot off the 1993 interpromotional wars
and still maintaining the services of their most legendary crew.
1-9-94
HIKARI FUKUOKA vs. HIROMI YAGIMURA:
Yagimura is of course better known now as Hiromi
Yagi. This is her debut, and she pops the crowd by hitting her ipponzei
on Fukuoka to break up the monotony of an otherwise-typical "rookie discipline"
match. Fukuoka with the inevitable pin at 5:42... y'all realize that
if it was fukuoka's idol Toyota in there she'd have showered, dressed and
been halfway through her second Sapporo at this point.
COMMANDO BORISHOI/HIKARI FUKUOKA vs. CANDY OKUTSU/FUSAYO
NOUCHI: JIP.
I'm beginning to think Borishoi might get more
props from people if she wasn't using such a cornball gimmick, because
she's a pint-sized machine here. She hits an absolutely brutal backdrop
on Nouchi here, also adding a sweet nodowa on both opponents. Candy
is quite good here, hitting the triple German and also throwing in some
hot spots like these turnaround missile dropkicks and a plancha to the
floor. Fukuoka finally isolates Nouchi and hits the missile dropkick
while Candy and Borishoi duke it out on the floor, but Nouchi kicks out
to a big pop. Fukuoka follows with the rolling cradle but Candy saves.
Borishoi takes out Candy one last time and Fukuoka hits a German Suplex
Hold on Nouchi for the pin at 24:30. Postmatch Fukuoka screams for
Devil Masami and Dynamite Kansai to come out, I guess so she can challenge
them to a match. They oblige her, at which point Devil
exclaims that Fukuoka's hair is a mess and she's
grounded for the weekend.
TWO FALL COUNT 6-WOMAN TAG MATCH: DYNAMITE KANSAI/DEVIL
MASAMI/ CHIGUSA NAGAYO vs. MAYUMI OZAKI/CUTIE SUZUKI/PLUM MARIKO:
The match title refers to the fact that you only
need a two-count to win this match. The crowd heat for Chigusa is amazing...
all of the schoolgirls in the house are going nuts for her while all of
the guys who've gotten hooked on womens' wrestling now are booing her like
crazy. Also weird seeing her sell her ass off early for her smaller
opponents, and it seems like she's fighting herself not to do it.
Big team controls the early going until Plum pulls a German suplex from
out of her ass on Devil for 1.999, and Ozaki actually starts kicking Charlie
(the ref) for not counting faster. Big team comes back on Cutie and
there's a cute bit where Oz runs in to stop Chigusa from using a hold on
Cutie, only to haul ass back to her corner the second Dynamite comes in.
After getting pounded for over 15 minutes the smaller team finally isolates
Dynamite and they all do top-rope moves onto her. Oz works on Dynamite's
arm until she tags to Chigusa, but Plum catches her with a dropkick and
snares her in a rolling anklelock. They all work over her ankles
until Oz hits Tequila Sunrise, but Chigusa basically no-sells it and tags
in Devil who hits her Jumbo Suplex on all three girls. Devil and
Dynamite run their opponents ragged but once again it's Chigusa who's the
weak link, as the second she tags in she starts to get used like a suplex
baton as Oz, Plum and Cutie trade suplexes on her. They drop her
and all three head up top for a triple-diving headbutt but Chigusa rolls
out of the way and tags in Devil, who hits her powerbomb spree on Oz for
1. Dynamite tags in and hits Splash Mountain but Cutie saves.
Dynamite proceeds to give *Cutie* Splash Mountain and tags in Devil, who
hits a diving legdrop on both Oz and Cutie. Chigusa comes back in,
but you guessed it- she gets taken out and before long everyone's brawling
on the floor. Chigusa and Plum come back in, where Chigusa hits a
piledriver for 1. She heads up top; Plum recovers and tries for a
Frankenstein, but Devil holds her up in mid-air and Chigusa hits a Superbomb
for the pin at 29:50. Postmatch Oz gets all up in Chigusa's
area and we get a pull-apart, and the crowd reaction is great for the small,
high-pitched "Chigusa!"
chant and a big-ass, deeper-sounding "OZAKI!!"
chant going on at the same time. Great match, with the two-count
stip adding a sense of urgency to the proceedings.
RINGS commercial. Hey, Maeda's still in shape here- this IS old!
2-11-94
HIKARI FUKUOKA vs. CUTIE SUZUKI:
JIP at the 10-minute mark with them brawling
on the floor. Good action going back-and-forth the whole way until
Fukuoka hits her moonsault and gets the upset pin at 21:10, but seems like
something was missing here. The fact that they didn't join the match
until the 10-minute mark and apparently proceeded to cut a chunk out of
what *did* air didn't help matters.
Footage of Plum learning submission from the former national sambo champion (Mr. Tanaka), interspersed with one of VOLK MOTHERFUCKING HAN!'s more preposterous holds, leads into...
PLUM MARIKO vs. CHIGUSA NAGAYO:
Plum just SMOKES down to the ring and jumps Chigusa
before the intros, taking her into the crowd and juicing her with a chairshot.
Chigusa staggers onto the floor only to be met with a Plum silla.
Match finally heads back inside where Plum works on the cut and converts
a Chigusa lariat attempt into a wakigatamae. Chigusa comes back with
kicks and a cross-armbreaker but Plum easily escapes it. Plum's going
hardcore heel here, biting Chigusa's cut, choking her out and flipping
off the schoolgirls as they try to rally their idol Chigusa on. Chigusa
comes back with some nasty kicks and slaps on an STF, then refuses to break
the hold when Plum reaches the ropes, so now it's HER turn to flip off
the fans when they boo her. Chigusa starts to work on Plum's ankles
(revenge for last month?), slapping on a sharpshooter and punching Plum
a couple of times before flipping her over to earn more wrath from the
males in the house. Chigusa takes Plum outside and chairs her, then
grabs the house mic and lays the smackudownu on the anti-Chigusa patrons.
Chigusa calls for a sleeperhold, but Plum reverses into a crossface-chickenwing.
Plum hits some suplexes on Chigusa and goes to a sleeper of her own, then
kicks Chigusa to the floor after she gets a rope-break. Chigusa comes
back in and slams Plum, but Plum comes back by reversing another Chigusa
lariat try into the Stretch Plum. Chigusa's almost at the ropes when
Plum turns it into a German suplex for two, then hits her with a silla.
Chigusa blocks a second silla attempt and goes for a crab, but Plum reverses
into a modified waki. She sets Chigusa on top but Chigusa slaps her
down twice then kicks her to the mat, then levels her with more kicks and
Plum takes an 8-count. Plum takes another standing eight off the
kicks but blocks another kick attempt and slaps on an STF. Chigusa
eventually gets a break but Plum quickly gets the rolling anklelock on
her. Plum kicks away at Chigusa's leg
some more and re-applies the hold until Chigusa
can get to the ropes. Plum heads up top, but Chigusa kicks her on
the way down and slaps on a sleeper. Plum struggles for the better
part of two minutes but finally succumbs at 22:40. Postmatch higusa
gets the mic and continues her comedic stylings from before until Cutie
runs in and jumps her, and we have a schmozz in the making until Masa Yamamoto
(JWP president and co-ring announcer) calms things down over the mic.
AWESOME match... if Plum ever had a better singles match then I've yet
to see it.
DEVIL MASAMI/CANDY OKUTSU vs. MAYUMI OZAKI/DYNAMITE
KANSAI:
Devil in white fringe is BEYOND weird... the
only thing stranger I can imagine is the Undertaker coming out wearing
a Chivas Rayadas mask. The announcer describes the opening exchange
between Oz and Devil as a "slow start"- truer words have never been spoken
in wrestling. ;) The match proper is OK, but at least from a TV standpoint
it doesn't have a chance following the Plum-Chigusa classic. The
main focus here is on Candy vs. Dynamite, with Candy trying to use her
flying moves to offset Dynamite's kicks and power. Devil pulls off
a move I've never seen before, as she slaps a Romero Special on Oz and
puts Oz in a Dragon sleeper at the same time! Neato! Dynamite
hits a top-rope footstomp on Devil, then gives her the Tsutenkaku Special
while Oz comes off the top at the same time with a lariat. Candy
tags in but Dynamite destroys her with a backdrop and hits Splash Mountain,
but Devil makes the save. Dynamite goes for it again, but Devil kicks
the leg out of her leg and Candy gets a near-fall. Devil soon gets
the hot tag, lays out both Dynamite and Oz and proceeds to CRUSH the both
of them with a senton off the top for 2. She heads back up and hits
a legdrop on Dynamite but Oz saves. Devil gets a Dragon sleeper on
Dynamite and Oz saves again. Another top-rope legdrop- same result.
Now Devil tags in Candy, and the crowd collectively says "Uh-oh."
Candy hits a missile dropkick on Dynamite while Devil has her in the vertical
suplex position and gets a near-fall. Devil powerbombs Dynamite and
tries to give Candy a Jumbo Suplex onto her, but Oz breaks it up.
Devil gives Oz the Jumbo and tries it again with Candy, but Dynamite gets
her legs up. Oz ties up Devil while Dynamite rolls up Candy for a
pin that totally deflates the crowd at 25:54. Shitty finish to a
decent match.
Overall an OK tape for JWP, but there are better
shows out there. You absolutely CANNOT go wrong with Plum-Chigusa
though...
~#~
The WWF's Even More Unusual Matches
(PHIL RIPPA!)
I lost all ambition this week so my idea of reviewing
some All Japan Women went out the window. Instead, this is my tomato can
for the week. Maybe next week.
Bruno Sammartino vs. Randy Savage
Lumberjack match for Intercontiental Title I
gag when I hear the announcer say that this match has a 1 hour time limit.
That is a really old and slow Bruno in that ring. I don't think this is
going go more than 10 minutes. Bruno's entire offense consists of trying
to hit Savage with his knee and trying to throw him into the turnbuckle.
King Kong Bundy waffles Bruno every time he gets thrown out of the ring
while Ricky Steamboat is just itching to get his hands on Savage. Hey Frenchy
Martin is at ringside. Good to see he was collecting a paycheck that week.
Savage oversells everything adding to the absurd nature of the match. Sammartino
applies the bearhug which brings Bundy into the ring to make the save.
Steamboat hops in the ring and those four brawl while the other lumberjacks
just look on like idiots. Finally they remember "hey we're supposed to
be doing that too." Big brawl last 10 seconds and then the match is over.
I hate Lumberjack matches.
$50,000 Tag Team Battle Royal
We join this match as Bret Hart and the Dynamite
Kid are eliminating themselves cementing the fact that I am not going to
care about this match. Last two teams are King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd
against the Islanders, who are Kama and Haku (the Mighty MEEEEEENNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!).
Kama gets the Avalanche in the corner and sells it like he will be coughing
up pieces of rib for a week. Haku does the CHOP OF FEAR! and the PUNCH
OF FEAR! He avoids a charge from Studd and Bundy gets eliminated by his
own partner. The Islanders win and I am mildly surprised. Still nowhere
near being watchable.
Hulk Hogan vs. Harley Race - Texas
Death Match:
This match takes place in Madison Square Garden
and it starts off with Howard Finkel explaining the rules and telling the
front row fans to leave or "stay at their own risk". This "Texas Death
Match" is not really a true Texas Death Match - in reality it is just a
NO DQ match. I haven't watched a Harley Race match in a long time and I
forgot that he does the Terry Funk freaky selling of everything which is
kinda cool in one respect but looks really weird at other times. At least
Race is trying. The first five minutes of the match
consist of Hogan choking Race with various objects
and breaking a chair over his head. Race mocks Hogan by doing the LITTLE
TRICKLE OF BLOOD bladejob. Hogan chases Heenan. Hogan no sells Race's punches.
That carries on for a little while. Race manages to hit a piledriver to
get on the offensive. Heenan throws the title belt in and Harley Benoit
goes for the diving headbutt but ends up with a face full of championship
gold. Hogan dances for rain and then hits Race with the belt again and
pins him. Weird. No leg drop. Again all kudos go to Race for trying.
Hulk Hogan vs. Harley Race - Texas
Death Match:
This is the rematch from the Boston Gardens.
It the same match as the first one only they change the order of events
a little. The ending is exactly the same. Fast Forward button usage recommended.
Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes -
Chain Match:
Hey Hercules is the Master of the Chain Match.
It's True! Gorilla Monsoon just told me. You win the match by pinfall not
the touch all four corners crap. The second stipulation of the match is
"Whoever does the more absurd bladejob wins". The winner of that is Hercules
who gets colored (I'm so inside) after getting crotched by the chain. No,
no, no, he bleeds from the forehead which is why it is so perposterous.
Hercules must of hit a vein or something because he ends up with his entire
face covered, gets specks on his stomach and splatters some on the ref.
If you noticed I am not talking about the actual match because IT STINKS.
When Hercules has to do the carrying then you are not a good wrestler.
I'm looking at you Mr. Haynes. Hercules wins after tying Haynes up with
the chain.
Judy Martin/Lelani Kai vs. Penny
Mitchell/Candice Pardue:
Like a nimrod, I actually wrote "Penny Marshall"
down in my notes. Martin and Kai look old even during this match. And their
asses still take up half the screen. This match is on the tape because
of the ending (according to the makers of the tape). Craig DeGeorge and
Johnny V. carry on about the "amazing, devastating" hold that wins the
match. How they have never see it before Yadda Yadda Yadda. The "move"
turns out to be a powerbomb which Gorilla Monsoon says he has never seen
before and Lord Alfred Hayes claims it is called the Drip Dry in England.
Okay, moving right along.
Hogan/Haynes vs. The Hart Foundation
and Danny Davis
This match is truly horrid. Bret Hart wrestles
for all of a minute. That means lots of Neidhart vs. Hogan and Neidhart
vs. Haynes. My VCR started smoking and the fast forwarding was working
overtime.
Bunkhouse Battle Royal
No Dusty Rhodes in this one so he isn't going
to book himself to win this one like all the Bunkhouse Stampedes. Fortunately,
Rhodes will not being rearing his splotchy, polka dotted ass in the WWF
for another 10 years. The "come as you are" rule gives us the treat of
seeing 15 guys in jeans and cowboy boots, Haku in the BICYCLE PANTS OF
FEAR! King Kong Bundy looking like he just bowled a 215 down at Earl Anthony's,
and Lanny Poffo's dumbass in a suit of armor. It should be noted that Poffo
is like the third guy eliminated. Scotty McGee manages to cripple himself
as he gets tossed out of the ring. The final three are Bundy, Blackjack
Mulligan and the Duke of Dorchester which is leading me to guess that this
match was originating from the Boston Gardens. Bundy tricks the Duke into
climbing the ropes and then promptly eliminates him. The Duke grabs a chair,
comes back in and waffles Bundy which helps to get rid of him. Oh boy,
Mulligan wins. I think I am going to puke.
~!~
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
there is no love in thisSINGLES
GOING STEADY! world anymore %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
%
J'D TV- 5/1999- LIONESS ASKA vs
KYOKO INOUE- (RASMUSSEN)
Golly, I guess this doesn't actually rank up
with the other two great ones these two have had in the last twelve months,
but it does get win, place and show for greatest bump I've seen this year-
as Lionness ascends to the top turnbuckle and DOUBLE STOMPS Inoue through
a table. We here in Death Valley Land love to make cheap jokes about
what a reubenesque beauty Kyoko Inoue has become, but she ain't afraid
to take THIS bump like a motherfucker and hats off and here's looking
at you, young Kyoko- because THIS junk was BONE. The rest of the match
was the usual Lioness Carrying Kyoko into Joshi Puroresu Middle Age Greatness.
%
W*ING JR. HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: THUNDERBIRD
COMO vs. CANADIAN TIGER- (W*ING 6-18-93, Korakuen): (POGo PETE STEIN!)
Brett Como was the toast of W*ING for a few months
during the summer of 1993, wowing fans with his flying moveset including
being perhaps the first gaijin to hit the Shooting-Star Press. OTOH
you have Tigre Canadiense, a solid if unspectacular junior who's kicked
around groups as diverse as Stampede, All Japan, W*ING and EMLL.
The match they have here isn't all that special in and of itself since
Como's shoulder is heavily taped and he's somewhat grounded. However,
this match is an absolute must-see for the smart-asses that make up the
dearly-departed W*ING's Tokyo fan base. They immediately pick up
on Tiger's habit of yelling "YEAH!" every time he hits a move... before
long you've got the Japanese equilavent of an ECW crowd watching a Hack
Myers match as the entire building screams "YEAH!" Dropkick- "YEAH!"
Forearm- "YEAH!" Whip to the ropes- "whoaaaaaaaaaaYEAH!!!" as Tiger
hits a move on the rebound. Goes for a cover- "YEAH! YEAH!"
for each count. I was watching this last week with Rev Ray and DVDVR
stringer Jon Boy when he was in town, and we were absolutely DYING by the
end of the match. Oh yeah, the match! Tiger hits an enzuigiri
on Como and goes for a clothesline ("YEAH!"), but Como backdrops him to
the floor, steps onto the apron and hits a sweet Asai moonsault.
Back inside Como gives Tiger a gutbuster, heads up top and hits the SSP,
but Tiger kicks out at 2. Como appeals for the ref to count faster,
but while this is going on Tiger gives him a horrible roll-up for an even
worse finish, as Como clearly kicks out even while the ref counts him out
at 11:31. So the match isn't too hot, but the crowd TOTALLY ROCKS.
Get this if you want some laughs that don't come at the expense of actually
bad wrestling.
(USELESS INFORMATION FROM DEAN: COMO is Thunderbird
in Mexico and was the infamous ULTIMATE Dragon in the WAR International
Juniors Tourney.)
%
WWF TV- The Hardy Boys vs. The
New Rockers - Sometime in 1996 (RIPPER!)
Being the town crier of all things Hardy, I wanted
to go over one of the early (if not earliest) Hardy TV appearances. This
was the first of the many "Crazy" Al Snow gimmicks- while the Hardy's are
not yet from the street. Jeff is all of maybe 15 here but he is still not
afraid to land on his head about 4 times. It is a squash for the New Rockers
as they toy with the rookies. They torment Jeff by pulling his bandana
over his eyes and suddenly Jeff is doing his best Jimmy Garvin impression.
A decent match for a squash. It is more fun from the nostalgic stand point.
The next memorable Hardy appearance is when then get killed by Kane on
RAW. They bumped like freaks then too. (Remember: 2010 World Heavyweight
Champion - Matt Hardy. 2010 - Jeff Hardy in wheelchair.)
%
ALL JAPAN TV - Mitsaharu Misawa/
Yoshinari Ogawa vs. Jun Akiyama/ Kenta Kobashi - 3/6/99 - (SCHNEIDER)
Most All Japan tag matches follow a similar format,
thus except for thetruly exceptional ones, they all tend to blend together.
For example I can tell you the best Misawa / Kobashi v. Taue / Kawada match
was on 6/11/95,For the life of me I can't tell you what there second best
match was. The thing that separated this match was the performance of Yoshinari
Ogawa.Ogawa has long been a seedy presence on All Japan undercards, the
guy who looked like a meth dealer, who was always putting over Asako. Well
Misawagot dumped on his head a lot and decided to upgrade Ogawa to the
big leagues, and bizarrely Yoshinari delivers. Ogawa's MOVE SET is really
different from the other workers in the match, as he does a lot of matworkish
kind of stuff, the opening is great as he ties up Akiyama with aseries
of arm ringers and shoves him into Kobashi, when Akiyama comes, flying
out Ogawa gives a drop toe hold and slaps on an armbar. Misawa andOgawa
also do this do-si-do which is very Fantastics in a goofy double teaming
way (they do it once successfully, and once Ogawa do-si-do's Misawainto
an Exploder, in a neat spot). The bulk of this match was Akiyama
and Kobashi working over Misawa and Ogawa, Misawa took his requisite insanebumps
including a half nelson suplex right on his head, a corner powerbomb right
on his head, and a t-bone suplex (let's all sing along now) right onhis
head. This match had the super hot ending, as Akiyama and Ogawa squared
off, with Akiyama dominating, but Ogawa getting a couple of flash pinattempts
to big pops. I am not so sure how the elevation of guys like Omori and
Takayama will end up, but I think the Ogawa experiment has worked well,as
his presence was the added dimension which made this a Match of the Year
candidate.
%
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
....AND YOUR WRESTLER OF THE WEEK:
SABU!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SABU vs. ROB
VAN DAM- All Japan- 5-31-97, Sendai: (POGO PETE STEIN!)
Perhaps not the best match they've ever had with
each other, but it's unique in that it's being presented for the cleanest
and most polite crowd they've ever worked in front of. ;) Pose-off
at the bell is followed with a minute or two of matwork before RVD drops
Sabu and hits his rolling splash off the ropes. Sabu comes back with
a sprinngboard dropkick that sends RVD to the floor... then the REAL fun
starts for this crowd as he sends RVD into the seats with a baseball slide.
Sabu ejects an NWO-shirt-bedecked fan from his chair, throws it into the
ring, heads in himself and does the triple-jump plancha onto RVD two zip-codes
away in the stands to a GIGANTIC pop. Both guys duel with some chairs
until RVD knocks Sabu's away; Sabu gives RVD a spear but RVD chairs Sabu
on the mat. He sets Sabu on top and opens the chair, but Sabu recovers
and gives RVD the Arabian legdrop onto the chair. More Chair-Fu hijinks
follow until RVD takes Sabu outside and sends him over the rail with a
spin kick, then drapes him onto the rail and hits the corkscrew legdrop.
They head back inside where a recovered Sabu crotches RVD on the top rope
and Frankensteins him down. RVD returns the favor and kicks him all
the way to the floor, then follows with a beautiful hands-free tope
con hilo. They head back in and go back-and-forth until Sabu grabs
a chair from outside and chucks it at RVD's head. RVD steals it and
gives him the Van Daminator, but Sabu kicks out. RVD then notices
that one of the seconds is putting the chair back behind the rail, so he
steals it again but this time Chair-Fu backfires as Sabu throws it at him.
Now we get Table-Fu as Sabu crotches RVD on the rail and hits him with
said table. Sabu sets RVD on the table, but it's one of those tables
that graduated from the Power Plant as it barely bends even after Sabu
splashes RVD twice. Now Sabu goes back to Chair-Fu and tries for
a splash into the corner with RVD on top, but RVD kicks him in mid-air
and then gives him a dropkick to the face with the chair. RVD places
the chair on Sabu and hits the Hollywood Star Press, then starts selling
his own ribs. The crowd has finally given up on this being a serious
match as they start laughing like RVD didn't know this was going to happen.
Sabu finally gives Sabu a Frankenstein onto the chair, hits the ropes and
does the triple-jump moonsault to pin RVD at 15:49, and both guys do the
other's pose out of... something. I'd say respect except they probably
thought it'd be cool in the middle of their bowl before the match.
Crowd was shockingly receptive to all of this, I guess because it was different
from the head-dropping.
Sabu vs. The Lightning Kid
- NWA Grandslam 1993- (PHIL RIPPA!) Danger, Will Robinson! Danger! Big
fat guy in Hawaiian shirt on the loose. That's right kids, Oliver Humperdink
waddles around with a shirt big enough to encase a small Tibetan village.
Humperdink is so God Damn fat that he can't button his shirt and all 300
people in some gym in Minnesota get to lose their lunch seeing his bulbous
figure. Anyway, this match is one of my favorite Sabu matches as Mr. Clutch
and Grab doesn't do much clutching or grabbing. Meanwhile, Sean Waltman
is all young and suicidal and willing to do a level #9 blade job for our
pleasure. More on that later though. Match starts off on the mat
as Sabu starts to work over a leg and the Kid's answer is to repeatedly
blast Sabu in the face. The best example of this is a spin kick that looks
like it cracks Sabu's jaw in about 4 places. God bless the young and peppy
Kid. Aaah, the wonders of youth. Waltman gives himself concussion #4 of
his young career by missing a charge into the corner. Sabu takes advantage
and the high spots start coming. Sabu hits a tope con hilo that the cameraman
Triple A's the hell out of it. Sabu follows up with an Asai Moonsault.
It is at this point that Humperdink rolls over and posts the Kid. The Kid
whips out his friend Mr. Razor Blade and opens up a gash that would make
Sabu's uncle wince. By the time he is done mangling his face there is a
blood spot on the floor. Sabu hits a powerbomb to the floor, which leaves
another stain on the floor. Back in the ring and Sabu starts to go for
the win. A double jump moonsault sets up the split-legged moonsault but
the Kid gets the knees up of the latter. Kid goes up top but he sells being
woozy (at least I will say he is selling it. God knows he could be loopy
thanks to the gusher he has) and gets crotched by Sabu. Top rana connects.
Sabu puts the Kid back up on the top turnbuckle. Kid blocks and reverses
into what is supposed to be a powerbomb. What it ends up being is Sabu
landing straight on his head and compressing vertebrae #5 through #8. Now
it is Sabu's turn to be woozy. The Lightning Kid hits the running short
leg-drops - which is my favorite move of his. Sabu to the floor. Head fake
into a plancha by the Kid. Then an out of control senton kills Sabu and
the some yahoos in the front row. Everyone staggers back into the ring.
Big ref bump as Sabu pulls the ref into a dropkick. Sabu punches the ref
to hammer home the DQ. Crappy ending to a very good match. Post match sees
Sabu and Humperdick open Kid's cut some more. Then Jerry Lynn makes the
worst save in the history of saves (if you ignore the Seattle Mariners'
bullpen). The plastic chair Lynn carries gets caught in the ropes and you
can practical see Lynn saying "Wait guys. I'm coming. Boy and when I get
there, oh there will be Hell to pay. If you can help me get this
chair into the ring." Oh well. Watch this match. And then watch the Sabu/Lynn
match that was set-up by the run in.
Rob Van Damn v. Sabu -Stretcher
match- ECW 1996 (SCHNEIDER)- When I first watched this match I thought
it was one of the top five matches of 1996. It really hasn't aged
well as Jeff Hardy, Billy Kidman and Mick Foley have really raised the
bar for crazy bumps and this match is basically a collection of big bumps.
However I think this was still the perfect platform for Sabu's unique psychology,
he has always had a big problem building his matches to a finish, while
this match just required both guys to kill themselves until one couldn't
stand. Some of the crazy spots in this match include Sabu doing an
Asai moonsault onto a prone Van Damn who is on the stretcher, with Sabu
smashing his ankles on the guardrail, a fisherman's buster by Van Damn
through a table which is stretched between the guard rails, and a somersault
plancha by Van Damn with Rob smashing his head right on the stretcher (which
was a cushion over metal and has no give.) Another thing I dug about
this match was the Sabu highflying. Sabu is not a graceful highlfyer
like Mr. Niebla or Hayabusa, he always looks out of control and dangerous,
that works real well in a match like this which in prefaced on the idea
of both guys doing anything to survive. Watching it again I realize
it wasn't the classic I originally thought it was, but it was a fun little
match and worth popping in the VCR.
SABU vs THE DIRTBIKE KID-
7/7/95-WOW (LONDON) : (RASMUSSEN!) [LONG-WINDED BACKSTORY (or life
of a wrestling tape that isn't Big Japan In My House): When SChneider
thought of this new little segment and pitched it to me (we're so SHOW
BIZ~~~!!), I immediately pushed for Sabu since I have been looking
for an excuse to actually watch this match. The Amazingly Great
and Elusive Rob mothafukkin Newlin sent me this UK handheld- CRIPES!-
three years ago? and it's been stuck in my "I'm Gonna Watch This Here Tape
REAL SOON" stack ever since. And I can't figure it out since even
dirtworst UK indie stuff is usually better than average US indie and I'll
watch US indie stuff nearly immediately upon it being handed to me by Hangman
Tim. I think the influx of the glory of BattlARTS, IRWG, the
Funtabulously gargantuan GLENN~! TAPES, Lorefice being the KING and sending
more wrestling than a mere mortal can watch, and with Schneider fearlessly
gathering up all the Japan Indie sleazarama in cyberspace- it has
all kept me from this tape but there is still no excuse that something
as cool and exotic as a UK Indie Handheld slipped through the cracks of
the gaze of your beloved DRIVER. For some reason Schneider's idea
triggered my memory, so here you go. Grab some...uh Bangers and Mash, throw
in a BMX Bandits cd and GEAR UP! ] Maybe Sabu out of
ECW is quite the okay wrestler. Without the "smart" mutant's pressure
to do forty highspots in five minutes, Sabu actually builds up to his highspots
off the mat, sets up his highspots and actually builds the match to a finish
(when Sabu finally gets the first table and hits two senton variations
to the floor to head to the finish- and the finish was actually related
to the highspot, unlike any other match I've seen Sabu in). Of course,
this was 1995, when EVERYTHING Sabu did in the ring highspot-wise wasn't
overshadowed by better, faster, more graceful, more psychologically-sound
wrestlers from Mexico and Japan, so he may not have felt the urge to destroy
six tables in an average match yet. Sabu and young English Highflyer
(and 1999 Michinoku Mask Tournament guy) Dirtbike Kid actually take it
to the mat for a while and it wasn't overly embarrassing or anything.
The main thing was that it was something semi-interesting to seperate the
spurts of Sabu landing right on top of his head (ah.... just like he used
to....) This was a whole lot closer to a lowgrade New Japan Juniors
match than he ever actually pulled off anywhere in Japan. Actually,
Sabu and Dirtbike sell more for each big highspot than anyone ever has
in New Japan. I was surprised. I figured this would be a Prototypical
and Archtypical LATE nineties highspotfest, when actually it was a lot
deeper and a lot better than your random Twiggy Ramirex vs Reckless Youth
match. Hell, maybe it was the super mod Union Jack Ring Apron cover
or the amazingly hot London crowd- either way, it was WAAAAAAY better than
I thought it would be.
*********
NEXT WEEK: NAIMARK's big Gracie Dealio should
bve ready to roll. Other than that- Hell, I dunno. Beautiful
Aja is wrestler of the week. ASSUREDLY there will be WADS of wrestling.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$
YOUR DEATH VALLEY PLAYBOYS.
SIX FISTS IN THE FACE OF WRESTLING.
$$$$$$$$$$$$
Play ALL WORLD COWBOY ROMANCE by Mission Of Burma
in your head.
|
| home |